Pick your Portillo 2024

[stavros]

I'm not going to do a poll, because there are 344 Tory MPs (at the time of writing), and not enough space in the poll function to be fully woke and inclusive.

As such, this is an open nomination thread for which sitting MP you most want to lose their seat in the forthcoming General Election. The only rules are they have to have been a Tory in the current Parliament, i.e. since December 2019, and have to be either definitely standing for re-election or not yet declared. Anyone who's chickened out of the approaching massacre doesn't deserve our attention.

Liz Truss would be fun, if a bit cliché-ed. IDS has a pretty narrow majority too.

 

[Silas Loom]

Sunak

 

[cupid_stunt]

Rees-Mogg losing would make my year.

 

[beesonthewhatnow]

Jonathan Gullis

 

[Humberto]

Hopefully Truss.

 

[stavros]

Truss got over two-thirds of the vote there in 2019, but if anyone can do the impossible it's her.

 

[chilango]

Starmer

 

[skyscraper101]

My big hope was going to be Raab but he bottled it, the massive bellend. Sunak would be great but he’d just land a cushy job somewhere and be even more annoying as a civilian, I’d quite like to see him wallow in opposition for a while.

Rees-Mogg would also be excellent but similarly he’d be equally if not more of an annoying cunt on the outside. I quite like the idea of Hunt, or Shapps getting Portillo’d. And especially anyone who has high hopes of leading the Tory Party like Badenoch or Braverman. It’d be so good to see them eradicated from the party before they have a chance to come back.

For the pure lol, I want to see Gove lose his seat more than anyone though.

 

[MickiQ]

Whilst it would be hysterically funny to see the back of either Sevenbins or Mogg the Merciless the one I'm looking forward to getting rid of is Heather Wheeler since for the first time in 50 years it means my personal vote will have actually made a difference.

 

[Voley]

Derek Thomas, the instantly forgettable bloke we've got in St Ives is a dead cert to lose his seat. Unlikely to be on telly though, sadly.

 

[skyscraper101]

Rees Mogg would be funny as fuck, though you know the moment he’s freelance he’ll double down on his media work and literally turn into the next Portillo, only less trains and red trousers, and more right wing GB News type stuff. We’ll never see the end of him.

 

[cupid_stunt]

Rees Mogg would be funny as fuck, though you know the moment he’s freelance he’ll double down on his media work and literally turn into the next Portillo, only less trains and red trousers, and more right wing GB News type stuff. We’ll never see the end of him.

I would be happy if he's quarantined at GB News, so I never need to see the cunt again.

 

[Serge Forward]

Starmer

Beat me to it

 

[QueenOfGoths]

Theresa May. She's my MP and there is a chance that she could be ousted.

I would love to see some of the diehard splutter and bluster Tories in the area fall quiet if she lost!

 

[moochedit]

Rees-mogg
Truss
Sunak
Pritti patel
Badnoch
Suella braverman
All of the other cunts

 

[Orang Utan]

My big hope was going to be Raab but he bottled it, the massive bellend. Sunak would be great but he’d just land a cushy job somewhere and be even more annoying as a civilian, I’d quite like to see him wallow in opposition for a while.

Rees-Mogg would also be excellent but similarly he’d be equally if not more of an annoying cunt on the outside. I quite like the idea of Hunt, or Shapps getting Portillo’d. And especially anyone who has high hopes of leading the Tory Party like Badenoch or Braverman. It’d be so good to see them eradicated from the party before they have a chance to come back.

For the pure lol, I want to see Gove lose his seat more than anyone though.

I doubt Sunak will stay in parliament. He’s gonna hie it out to California as soon as he can.

 

[Silas Loom]

I doubt Sunak will stay in parliament. He’s gonna hie it out to California as soon as he can.

Yes, but it would be nice for their leadership election to be hurried and chaotic.

 

[souljacker]

Theresa May. She's my MP and there is a chance that she could be ousted.

I would love to see some of the diehard splutter and bluster Tories in the area fall quiet if she lost!

I'd be very surprised if the people of the royal borough got rid of her. It's a very posh part of the world. It would be very funny though.

I'm hoping Alok Sharma gets the boot, because he's a prick.

 

[Bingoman]

Theresa May. She's my MP and there is a chance that she could be ousted.

I would love to see some of the diehard splutter and bluster Tories in the area fall quiet if she lost!

She standing down at the Election

 

[quiet guy]

30p Lee for the bin

 

[Nine Bob Note]

Theresa May. She's my MP and there is a chance that she could be ousted.

I would love to see some of the diehard splutter and bluster Tories in the area fall quiet if she lost!

She's already said shes standing down, though if she weren't I'd place her near the top of the list of the twelve-or-so tory MPs likely to still have a job.

 

[Silas Loom]

30p Lee for the bin

He’ll hardly be the favourite if he stands in Ashfield for Reform.

 

[quiet guy]

I know but I can live in hope until then

 

[UrbaneFox]

I want Liz Truss to stay forever. She is such a moron, and I would miss the laughs.

 

[nottsgirl]

Got to be Rees Mogg.

 

[Lord Camomile]

My big hope was going to be Raab but he bottled it, the massive bellend.

He really is just singularly objectionable.

There are many others you could make a strong argument for being a worse human being, but I'm not sure how many could compete against him in pure terms of being an utter prick.

 

[Lord Camomile]

My big hope was going to be Raab but he bottled it, the massive bellend. Sunak would be great but he’d just land a cushy job somewhere and be even more annoying as a civilian, I’d quite like to see him wallow in opposition for a while.

Rees-Mogg would also be excellent but similarly he’d be equally if not more of an annoying cunt on the outside. I quite like the idea of Hunt, or Shapps getting Portillo’d. And especially anyone who has high hopes of leading the Tory Party like Badenoch or Braverman. It’d be so good to see them eradicated from the party before they have a chance to come back.

For the pure lol, I want to see Gove lose his seat more than anyone though.

Actually, would agree with the overall sentiment of the rest of your post, too.

They'll all find cushie and lucrative work outside of parliament, so it needs to be someone who does, in some way, value being an MP, and so for whom being booted out will be a genuine blow to their personal status or sense of destiny or place in history or some such bollocks.

 

[skyscraper101]

Actually, would agree with the overall sentiment of the rest of your post, too.

They'll all find cushie and lucrative work outside of parliament, so it needs to be someone who does, in some way, value being an MP, and so for whom being booted out will be a genuine blow to their personal status or sense of destiny or place in history or some such bollocks.

I reckon Badenoch has to be the prime candidate here. She reeks of political ambition and clearly dreams of getting the top job. For that reason alone I’d love to see her booted out at the next election.

 

[QueenOfGoths]

She's already said shes standing down, though if she weren't I'd place her near the top of the list of the twelve-or-so tory MPs likely to still have a job.

Oh of course she is isn't she!! I'd forgotten doh!

 

[Elpenor]

Locally I hope we lose Anne Marie Morris who is the most anonymous MP I have never known. Usually MPs are all over the local media but not her

This is the sort of seat where Labour and Lib Dem’s will probably get 55-60% of the vote between them but the Tory still wins