zine submissions (please)?

[tufty79]

damn !! totally on it dude!!

en inglese, por favor?

 

[Flavour]

no speeka da ingleesh i only do tha math

 

[mauvais]

I'll do the TV listings if you like.

ANIMAL, CAMERA, HOSPITAL

It's past closing time at Shepherd's Bush Sainsburys and the supermarket has not yet emptied. Fat useless twat Jeremy from Airport arrives and releases six hungry lions into the store. We record what happens from our light-fitting vantage point above the meat counter. Things aren't going well on deli assistant Susan's first day, as she's just fallen into a bath of mince. Will she make it to the exit travelator in time, and with her face intact? Contains mild nudity.

Subtitled, Widescreen

 

[tufty79]

I'll do the TV listings if you like.

asbolutely!
you can go next to the shows to be pitched to c4 bit...

very cheeky sneaky peek preview of said pitching (not written by me, i hasten to add):

How Clean Is Your Wife? – The posh fat one from "How Clean Is Your House?" dons her detective hat to snoop through the dark past of the country's other halves. Watch her pearl necklace dangle in soiled nappies and chicken carcasses as she roots through bins, rubbish dumps and black bags discarded in forests in an attempt to discover the truth about your wife and her "male friends".

Beal or No Beal – Noel Edmond's groundbreaking quiz takes on a new twist as contestants must use luck - and only luck, there's simply no skill involved - in an attempt to find the magic box containing the actual head of "Eastenders" character Ian Beal.

You're Fat! – No more pretence. No more control pants or push-up bras. No easy answers. "You're Fat!" sees a group of heroin addicted supermodels walk around English towns and cities while screeching "You're Fat!" and pointing at anyone who doesn't look the way magazines tell them to look.
Episode 1 – Burnley
Episode 2 – Hull
Episode 3 – Halifax
Episode 4 – Fife
Episode 5 – Burnley
Episode 6 – Burnley

How To Look Good Dead – Gok Wan returns to our screens in an attempt to allay the nation's greatest fear; looking bad in a coffin. Follow Gok for 38 minutes of programme and 22 minutes of adverts as he dresses up corpses in the finest attire "New Look" and "Topshop" have to offer. Worried you might die in a freak beheading accident? Never fear, Gok will show you how an affordable scarf from "Next" can hide that nasty sever line, leaving you without a care when your time inevitably comes.

The MF Word – Gordon Ramsey and sous-chef Bernard Manning serve up the most offensive, swear littered hour on television, with more than a pinch of racism.

Richard and Judy and Charles – Join the nation's favourite husband and wife duo with different surnames as they are joined each week by a different "Charles." Episode one sees a ferocious Gin drinking competition between Judy and Charles Kennedy, while episode two sees the future King of England sit in for Richard on "You Say We Pay" and attempt to guess the objects appearing on the screen behind him through the unemployed contestant's clues. (Episode 3 – King Charles spaniel. Episode 4 – Charles Manson.)

 

[tufty79]

RIGHT!
after many false starts and delays and stupid homelessness, i've DEFINITELY got meself a deadline for the end of this month, and sending to printerers on hallowe'en.

got a joolz denby/new york alcoholic anxiety attack interview coming in, poss cowboy junkies too.. (edit: nope, not c/j's, unless they're ok with doing one by email...)

submission deadline: 26th octoberer.

pm's heading people's ways this week

any more things gratefully recieved

the seeedeee so far has tracks like: red guitars/good technology; the pains of being pure at heart/the pains of being pure at heart; downdime/hate the morning; the bobby mcgee's/don't make me be jar jar binks again tonight..

www.myspace.com/goldfishnationzine for more infos

cheers xxx

 

[May Kasahara]

How can I obtain a copy of previous issues, o mighty zine queen? I'd love to submit something, but would also love to take a look first so I don't make a twat of myself plus I'm interested anyway

 

[bluestreak]

yeah, must remember to do something for this....

oh, and i keep missing your calls tufts, soz. nothing important i hope?

 

[tufty79]

nope, just trying to see if your surfee got sorted (if that makes sense?)

ms may - will be copying up more of the first issue in the next fortnight. and with a bit of techie help from fogbat, will be making it available as a pdf thingy too

 

[sojourner]

Book reviews any good to ya tufteh? Of lesbina books?

 

[tufty79]

absolutely and utterly yes, ms soj.

 

[sojourner]

Want me to pm it or email as attachment?

Also have an article on homphobic bullying in schools?

 

[tufty79]

yup to the above.

goldfish (dot) nation (at) ntlworld (dot) com for submittery things.
email is easiest for me

tar xx