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You're not allowed to buy a kitchen if you're a woman!

(((((((((((((((((Ann)))))))))))))))))))

As another single woman living on her own, I completely empathise and sympathise with you. I have had no end of trouble with buliders being unreliable, lying, sexist, underhand, scheming and just being utter pigs doing bad, shifty work.

I thought it was just cause of where i lived, but reading your post, i have had similar problems with getting work done on my kitchen too, and am now wondering if it is cause I am a woman who lives alone.

I arrange visits for quotes and they can't seem to be able to comprehend I am on my own and want work done. They have all given me dodgy quotes and seem to just want to take advantage.

I do not seem to get the same problems with electricians, painters, plumbers, plasterers, etc. - these problems seem to be just with builders. They often seem really uncomfortable being in the house and just fob me off with shit quote and seem to want to get out asap.

I thought it was just me who goes through this shit with builders, but reading this, it has made me wonder if buliders can't handle "single, independant women". As all my other girlfriends are married or living with partners, they don't have to go through this shit.

In this day and age, this type of behaviour should be abolished but builders seem to live in a time warp!:mad:
 
AnnO'Neemus said:
I wasn't unhappy about any assumption that I would have a partner. He didn't assume that. He asked if I had a partner.

I was annoyed that the assumption seems to be that a woman can't make a "big decision" without a man present.
Click to expand...

The fist bit of the post you quoted explained a reason for this too.
I really don't think they were assuming that a women can't make that decision alone, just better to have both halves of any couple there.
 
AnnO'Neemus said:
I wasn't unhappy about any assumption that I would have a partner. He didn't assume that. He asked if I had a partner.

I was annoyed that the assumption seems to be that a woman can't make a "big decision" without a man present.
Click to expand...

Your assumption that they would assume you are not a lesbian is racist against lesbians.
 
mozzy said:
(((((((((((((((((Ann)))))))))))))))))))

As another single woman living on her own, I completely empathise and sympathise with you. I have had no end of trouble with buliders being unreliable, lying, sexist, underhand, scheming and just being utter pigs doing bad, shifty work.

I thought it was just cause of where i lived, but reading your post, i have had similar problems with getting work done on my kitchen too, and am now wondering if it is cause I am a woman who lives alone.

I arrange visits for quotes and they can't seem to be able to comprehend I am on my own and want work done. They have all given me dodgy quotes and seem to just want to take advantage.

I do not seem to get the same problems with electricians, painters, plumbers, plasterers, etc. - these problems seem to be just with builders. They often seem really uncomfortable being in the house and just fob me off with shit quote and seem to want to get out asap.

I thought it was just me who goes through this shit with builders, but reading this, it has made me wonder if buliders can't handle "single, independant women". As all my other girlfriends are married or living with partners, they don't have to go through this shit.

In this day and age, this type of behaviour should be abolished but builders seem to live in a time warp!:mad:
Click to expand...

men :rolleyes:
 
strung_out said:
are you suggesting that if you're in a relationship, you shouldn't be discussing decisions relating to whether you purchase a new kitchen or not? pretty shitty relationship if you think not tbh.
Click to expand...
No, that's not what I'm saying at all. If I was in a relationship, I would discuss the matter with my partner, of course.

But even if I were in a relationship, I would still be offended that the kitchen company didn't want to come unless my partner were present, on the grounds that it's a "big decision," which is a terribly patronising attitude to take towards dealing with a woman.

If I had a partner, I would discuss it with them and I would hope that they would trust me enough to be able to deal with talking to the kitchen company myself. (Otherwise it would be a crap relationship, if you couldn't discuss something with your partner, reach an agreement with them and then trust them to deal with it.)

Although, of course, if I had a partner and they particularly wanted to be there for the appointment and to be involved, then that's great, I'd love that, but I struggle to see why a kitchen company might insist on it as a prerequisite.

zenie said:
yeh maybe :) I'd still be annoyed they asked though, I can make my own decisons and I don't really care what they've gone through before with others.

How's about asking 'are all parties agreed with this?' :D
Click to expand...
Precisely!

I can make my own decisions as well.
 
zenie said:
yeh maybe :) I'd still be annoyed they asked though, I can make my own decisons and I don't really care what they've gone through before with others.

How's about asking 'are all parties agreed with this?' :D
Click to expand...

These things come with time.

The last callcentre I worked in we had to say some utterly ridiculous things and as calls were monitored, we had to say them. We could get the sack (eventually) if we didn't.
 
mozzy said:
(((((((((((((((((Ann)))))))))))))))))))

As another single woman living on her own, I completely empathise and sympathise with you. I have had no end of trouble with buliders being unreliable, lying, sexist, underhand, scheming and just being utter pigs doing bad, shifty work.

I thought it was just cause of where i lived, but reading your post, i have had similar problems with getting work done on my kitchen too, and am now wondering if it is cause I am a woman who lives alone.

I arrange visits for quotes and they can't seem to be able to comprehend I am on my own and want work done. They have all given me dodgy quotes and seem to just want to take advantage.

I do not seem to get the same problems with electricians, painters, plumbers, plasterers, etc. - these problems seem to be just with builders. They often seem really uncomfortable being in the house and just fob me off with shit quote and seem to want to get out asap.

I thought it was just me who goes through this shit with builders, but reading this, it has made me wonder if buliders can't handle "single, independant women". As all my other girlfriends are married or living with partners, they don't have to go through this shit.

In this day and age, this type of behaviour should be abolished but builders seem to live in a time warp!:mad:
Click to expand...

Seriously, I don't know where to start. :facepalm:

OK, firstly, I will admit that sometimes , some men who are working in a male dominated trade (like mechanics, plumbers etc) will some times try and rip off women but those same men are just as likely to rip off the elderly, the banker who has never done anything with his hands before and generally anyone who they think might not understand the process.
My dad use to get it when he went to go and sort building and car stuff out in his suit after work but he is actually brilliant with all things electrical, mechanical, plumbing etc

Next, your saying that builders in particular seem to have it in for you but not plumbers, electricians, painters etc... I would have though Kitchen Fitters have to be all those things or at least the people giving the quite would have to have a knolwedge of all of it.
You position on this seems to be a little warped.
 
London_Calling said:
In a relationships, big expenses are a compromise.

Have I been doing it wrong or something? I just make a decison and sod my partner, is that what I should be doing?
Click to expand...
No, that's not what I'm saying at all.

If I had a partner, I would discuss it with them, I wouldn't just make a decision and sod them. But once we'd made a decision together, I don't see why it would be absolutely necessary for him to be there to back up what I'm saying and confirm to the kitchen company that what I'm saying is true and the information I'm giving them about what units were to go where and what type of cupboards and worktops and so on is the right information.

I'd wonder why my word, as a woman, as to what we as a couple had decided wasn't good enough for the kitchen company.
 
we've just bought a new kitchen, I let my partner make all the decisions on the units, it was simpler agreeing with them, and also if stuff goes wrong, she chose the kitchen :cool::D
 
AnnO'Neemus said:
No, that's not what I'm saying at all. If I was in a relationship, I would discuss the matter with my partner, of course.

But even if I were in a relationship, I would still be offended that the kitchen company didn't want to come unless my partner were present, on the grounds that it's a "big decision," which is a terribly patronising attitude to take towards dealing with a woman.
Click to expand...

Which only matters if they do not do the same with a man. we don't know if they do or not.



If I had a partner, I would discuss it with them and I would hope that they would trust me enough to be able to deal with talking to the kitchen company myself. (Otherwise it would be a crap relationship, if you couldn't discuss something with your partner, reach an agreement with them and then trust them to deal with it.)
Click to expand...

And how are the kitchen company meant to know whether you fall into the crappy relationship group or the good relationship group? they probably do know what experiences they have had in the past though when only speaking to one half of a couple.

Although, of course, if I had a partner and they particularly wanted to be there for the appointment and to be involved, then that's great, I'd love that, but I struggle to see why a kitchen company might insist on it as a prerequisite.
Click to expand...

Were they insisting on it as a prerequisite? Or did they just ask?

If they said exactly what you said, unless there is more you are not telling us then you are the one making assumptions. There is no evidence that they are.
 
AnnO'Neemus said:
No, that's not what I'm saying at all. If I was in a relationship, I would discuss the matter with my partner, of course.

But even if I were in a relationship, I would still be offended that the kitchen company didn't want to come unless my partner were present, on the grounds that it's a "big decision," which is a terribly patronising attitude to take towards dealing with a woman.

If I had a partner, I would discuss it with them and I would hope that they would trust me enough to be able to deal with talking to the kitchen company myself. (Otherwise it would be a crap relationship, if you couldn't discuss something with your partner, reach an agreement with them and then trust them to deal with it.)

Although, of course, if I had a partner and they particularly wanted to be there for the appointment and to be involved, then that's great, I'd love that, but I struggle to see why a kitchen company might insist on it as a prerequisite.
Click to expand...
1) you're assuming that they only ask this question to women and not to men who may phone up enquiring about buying a kitchen
2) you're assuming that the kitchen company insists on both partners being there as a prerequisite
3) you seem to think it's a bad thing that a company responsible for selling expensive kitchen packages which can have a large effect on their customers lives, want to ensure that the customer(s) is 100% sure that they are making the correct purchase.

rarely have a i seen such a large mountain made out of a non existent molehill on u75. pathetic.
 
bit harsh strung out, she didn't make the mountain all by herself it also took the rest of us giving a reaction.

personally i am still more concerned about the pink cheeked smilies
 
AnnO'Neemus said:
No, that's not what I'm saying at all. If I was in a relationship, I would discuss the matter with my partner, of course.

But even if I were in a relationship, I would still be offended that the kitchen company didn't want to come unless my partner were present, on the grounds that it's a "big decision," which is a terribly patronising attitude to take towards dealing with a woman.
Click to expand...

But they didn't day that you couldn't make the decision alone because your a woman, it's only you that has said those words.


AnnO'Neemus said:
If I had a partner, I would discuss it with them and I would hope that they would trust me enough to be able to deal with talking to the kitchen company myself. (Otherwise it would be a crap relationship, if you couldn't discuss something with your partner, reach an agreement with them and then trust them to deal with it.)

Although, of course, if I had a partner and they particularly wanted to be there for the appointment and to be involved, then that's great, I'd love that, but I struggle to see why a kitchen company might insist on it as a prerequisite.
Click to expand...

You would get your partner involved but maybe it might not have even crossed a lot of other peoples minds. Hence why they ask.

AnnO'Neemus said:
I can make my own decisions as well.
Click to expand...

No one is saying you can't
 
AnnO'Neemus said:
He asked if I had a partner.

I said Excuse me, I'm sorry, how is that relevant?

And he said that when they come round to measure up and give a quote they like the partner to be there.
Click to expand...

What happened next?

If you said 'I don't have a partner', which I assume you did as it seems to be the case, what did they then say?

If they refused to even consider selling you a kitchen on that basis then this thread is relevant.

Otherwise, there is entirely no point to this thread.
 
kittyP said:
Seriously, I don't know where to start. :facepalm:

OK, firstly, I will admit that sometimes , some men who are working in a male dominated trade (like mechanics, plumbers etc) will some times try and rip off women but those same men are just as likely to rip off the elderly, the banker who has never done anything with his hands before and generally anyone who they think might not understand the process.
My dad use to get it when he went to go and sort building and car stuff out in his suit after work but he is actually brilliant with all things electrical, mechanical, plumbing etc

Next, your saying that builders in particular seem to have it in for you but not plumbers, electricians, painters etc... I would have though Kitchen Fitters have to be all those things or at least the people giving the quite would have to have a knolwedge of all of it.
You position on this seems to be a little warped.
Click to expand...

Fair do's - I may be wrong and it may just be cause I am on my own and don't know the trade, and not cause I am a woman. But trying to get a building company to do any work on my house has been a nightmare! Like I said, I don't have these problems with any other trades either. Who knows....!
 
kyser_soze said:
Outside of your head, who made that assumption?
Click to expand...
He said it's a big decision to buy a kitchen and they like the partner to be there.

I'm sorry, but in this day and age what he said was really rather patronising.

Women can and do make "big decisions" without a partner.

Or even if they do have a partner they can and do make big decisions when they're not in their partner's presence.
 
mozzy said:
Fair do's - I may be wrong and it may just be cause I am on my own and don't know the trade, and not cause I am a woman. But trying to get a building company to do any work on my house has been a nightmare! Like I said, I don't have these problems with any other trades either. Who knows....!
Click to expand...

I think for a lot of people trying to decent reliable work don is a nightmare regardless of your gender, colour or relationship status. :(
 
I have just had damp proof coursing, a new kitchen and a new bathroom fitted and the hall and bedroom redecorated. My builder didn't treat me as an idiot at all. Neither did the damp proofing company or any of the suppliers. I think perhaps you've been unlucky. I did buy everything myself separately though from about 50 different places so maybe some of them assumed I was just following orders :D
 
AnnO'Neemus said:
He said it's a big decision to buy a kitchen and they like the partner to be there.

I'm sorry, but in this day and age what he said was really rather patronising.

Women can and do make "big decisions" without a partner.

Or even if they do have a partner they can and do make big decisions when they're not in their partner's presence.
Click to expand...

Of course they do, no one has said they can't.
 
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