Your teachers' catchprases

[berniedicters]

Mr Pritchard, Latin teacher. Not so much a catchphrase (though I am sure he had them, and am struggling to remember), but a couple of affectations. First of all, there were his "impots". Short for "imposition", and typically a massive and mindless bit of work you got for failing a test. Failing, in his terms, being "getting less than 100%". So a typical import would be to write out the whole test - which could be 100 questions - once for each point lost.

His other was a total and flat reluctance to use the number 13. We'd (gently and good-naturedly) try to catch him out and get him to say it, and he'd - equally gently and good-naturedly - fail to do so, and say "12A" instead.

 

[pogofish]

I had a wee free headmaster, too.

The hippies who followed were not a lot better I'm afraid.

 

[spanglechick]

'let me in, let me in...' bash bash bash... french teacher after someone locked him out of the classroom one april fools day

actually,

'come on, own up, which one of you did that? If you don't own up then the whole class is in for detention'

was more like his catchphrase coz pretty much every lesson he'd have a'kick me' sticker stuck to his back, or someone would have glued the register to the desk, or the entire class would have agreed that nobody was going to speak when he asked us to 'repeat after me...' etc. etc.

we were quite merciless tbh when I think about it

amateurs. teachers of yesteryear wouldn't last three minutes with my year ten flexible learners...

 

[Yetman]

When turning the lights on and off to create a strobe classroom nightclub effect, Mr Gohal comes in...

CHOOO MUST NOT PLAY WITH ELECTRIC CITY

 

[dodgepot]

"squat down lads, out of the wind" our PE teacher would say, as if squatting on our haunches, instead of standing, in the middle of a wide open field in the cold wind and pissing rain whilst he spoke to us would somehow make everything so much more pleasant.

 

[Donna Ferentes]

What's he supposed to do? Summon a heavenly canopy?

 

[ringo]

"Fun's fun but when the fun gets too much fun its not fun any more" - From a nasty old witch who never allowed anyone any fun, shortly before she used to hit my 8 year old self across the knuckles with the edge of a wooden ruler every week. And she's still wrong.

 

[Balbi]

Don't worry class, you won't have to go out to break if you keep on making this much noise. Carry on.

*opens newspaper, puts feet up*

Great days

 

[Sweet FA]

'Its your own time you're wasting'

I said that today. Twice.



I had an observation from my Head last week. As my Year 2 were starting their work I said, as always, "Put your name on every bit of paper you use". 26 little voices then reply as one; "Or you'll hunt us down and kill us Mr FA".

Cue 'little chat' with Head re: appropriate language to use in infants.

 

[weepiper]

I had an observation from my Head last week. As my Year 2 were starting their work I said, as always, "Put your name on every bit of paper you use". 26 little voices then reply as one; "Or you'll hunt us down and kill us Mr FA".

Cue 'little chat' with Head re: appropriate language to use in infants.

fantastic

 

[Sabu]

'[insert physics fact here], there's no two ways about it'.

He even did a rap about how physics is the best subject ever.

Then there was a teacher if he caught you talking or messing about he would give you 'five minutes' off your break. He'd just shout out a name followed by '5 minutes!'. He also kept a tally of this that was updated weekly and displayed in class on the wall titled 'top ten time wasters'. Then he'd say 'Joe Bloggs you are a top ten time waster'. The last one me and my brother still use if one of us is pissing about.

Teacher turned out to be a curb crawler and may well have been a nonce (he made us dance to Tina Turner's 'Steamy Window' in our vest and pants').

 

[N_igma]

Convinced our PE teacher in college had some sick boy fetish. Everytime we came back the lesson he'd shout, "showers boys, shorts off, shorts off". Wouldn't give a fuck now but at 12 and 13 years of age, the prospect of being in the showers naked with a load of other boys the same age was daunting!

 

[Cloo]

I had an observation from my Head last week. As my Year 2 were starting their work I said, as always, "Put your name on every bit of paper you use". 26 little voices then reply as one; "Or you'll hunt us down and kill us Mr FA".

Cue 'little chat' with Head re: appropriate language to use in infants.

I think this is the kind of teaching we don't see enough of these days!

 

[Saffy]

We had a very strict Irish deputy head who would constantly shout "Walk on the left!" as she stormed up and down the corridors and stairs.

She was also very fond of "Keep your money on your person, at all times!"

We had a geography teacher as well who would be yabbering on about field rotation or something and open a desk lid up to lean on and inside was a Simple Minds poster. He would then roll his eyes and say something along the lines of "How appropirate."

 

[gaijingirl]

*take notes*

I may try some of these out tomorrow...

All my catchphrases are in Japanese - means I can get away with quite a lot..

 

[Shippou-Sensei]

All my catchphrases are in Japanese - means I can get away with quite a lot..

that leaves me intrigued

luckily all my students are adults so i can swear directly at them

 

[mattie]

The headteacher, every assembly:

"You get out of life what you put in"

As he waited patiently for retirement.

 

[tbaldwin]

"baldwin get your thumb out of my eye"

 

[Maidmarian]

Mother Mary Agnes (Latin & RE) : "I can see that you don't come from a very good home dear ------- how do I know that ? BECAUSE GIRLS FROM GOOD HOMES DON'T -----(or DO) whatever"

Miss Robson (History) "We can't use the hall today girls as, unfortunately, the builders are having an erection in there" !!! (She only said it once , but we NEVER forgot !

 

[Balbi]

I think this is the kind of teaching we don't see enough of these days!

Innit. I got that as a T.A

"Mr Balbi, it is NOT appropriate to threaten to tear their legs off and stick them in their ears if they don't get on with their work independently"

 

[Voley]

I had an observation from my Head last week. As my Year 2 were starting their work I said, as always, "Put your name on every bit of paper you use". 26 little voices then reply as one; "Or you'll hunt us down and kill us Mr FA".

Cue 'little chat' with Head re: appropriate language to use in infants.

Ace. Your Head's a dick, mate.

 

[Mr Smin]

"No one gets dressed until i've seen you shower."
Some PE teacher.

"Get your hands out of your pockets"
Not at school, at work. My station officer. He used to use the tannoy to shout this across the forecourt, until the tannoy was removed.

 

[Donna Ferentes]

We had a geography teacher as well who would be yabbering on about field rotation or something and open a desk lid up to lean on and inside was a Simple Minds poster. He would then roll his eyes and say something along the lines of "How appropirate."

Heh

 

[mrsfran]

Miss Edwards, RE teacher: "I'm a virgin, I'm saving myself for Jesus"

Entire class: HAHAHAHAHAHA

 

[Melinda]

The RE teacher admitted to masturbating with a hairbrush during a small group session.
That shit was live and and was round the school in less than an afternoon. A French conversation assistant *ran* in to tell us!

 

[starfish]

American history teacher every time halfway through a double period, "Take a five minute break".

French teacher as soon as she entered the class, "Bonjour mes enfants", to which we had to reply "Bonjour Madame B........".

 

[Shippou-Sensei]

Miss Edwards, RE teacher: "I'm a virgin, I'm saving myself for Jesus"

Entire class: HAHAHAHAHAHA

what they don't know is jesus has a 12" cock

 

[mrsfran]

American history teacher every time halfway through a double period, "Take a five minute break".

French teacher as soon as she entered the class, "Bonjour mes enfants", to which we had to reply "Bonjour Madame B........".

Did you have to stand whenever a teacher entered the room? We did.

 

[berniedicters]

Did you have to stand whenever a teacher entered the room? We did.

I can't believe my school missed a trick on this! That was exactly the kind of pettifogging shit they loved, but I don't recall it happening...

 

[mrsfran]

Oh yes. Stand whenever a teacher enters the room. Practically salute should the headmistress happen by. And this is only 12 years ago!