"Your system is low on virtual memory"

[Minnie_the_Minx]

It's all 0's and 1's with computers, believe me, I've been in the old IT game 35 years now man and boy.

yes, I believe 0s and 1s are to techie people what trains are to train spotters

 

[Hi-ASL]

Well, the danger of it is that out-of-memory errors can cause your computer to freeze, or to slow to a crawl, often requiring a reboot. And that way you can lose important data.

But it it was just a one-off I think your photos are safe.

 

[Hi-ASL]

It's all 0's and 1's with computers, believe me, I've been in the old IT game 35 years now man and boy.

My keyboard goes all the way up to 9.

 

[Minnie_the_Minx]

My keyboard goes all the way up to 9.

*checks keyboard*


shit We must have the same keyboards

 

[8ball]

My keyboard goes all the way up to 9.

Ah, but it's all 0's and 1's inside the machine.

 

[Hi-ASL]

Ah, but it's all 0's and 1's inside the machine.

Then where do the hamsters sit?

 

[Minnie_the_Minx]

go to your start menu, then 'run'.

Type in 'msconfig' and press enter

A box will come up, and there should be a tab that says 'startup'.

These are all the programs that start up when windows loads.

Untick all the boxes of programs that are not necessary, or dodgy looking. (don't ask me to explain dodgy looking!).

It will then say restart, you don't have too though.

If that doesn't work though, you might have some kind of virus/spyware/error, and might need to fiddle with the registry to get rid of it. I wouldn't advise that if you don't know what your looking for (not that I do!)

Says it cannot find misconfig or one of its components

 

[8ball]

Then where do the hamsters sit?

Behind the power supply where it's warm.

 

[Minnie_the_Minx]

Ah, but it's all 0's and 1's inside the machine.

I haven't got a screwdriver to look for the 0s and 1s

 

[Hi-ASL]

Behind the power supply where it's warm.

Ah.

Crafty little buggers.

That's what's probably causing the virtual memory problems. Hamsters shirking again.

 

[Dillinger4]

Ah.

Crafty little buggers.

That's what's probably causing the virtual memory problems. Hamsters shirking again.

You can't blame them, winter is drawing in and all.

 

[8ball]

Hamsters shirking again.

Bloody PC World.

They take the hard-working Korean hamsters out of the machines when they get to the shop and substitute lazy French hamsters.

 

[Minnie_the_Minx]

Bloody PC World.

They take the hard-working Korean hamsters out of the machines when they get to the shop and substitute lazy French hamsters.

yeah, but they'll probably get Chinese hamsters soon as they're cheaper

 

[8ball]

yeah, but they'll probably get Chinese hamsters soon as they're cheaper

You wanna take the PC back to the shop and tell them where to stick their fucking French hamsters!!

 

[EastEnder]

What's that mean please?

Your PC uses some it's hard disk space to supplement the "real" memory, RAM (those little sticks of black microchips).

If you've got too many programs open or haven't rebooted for a while, the disk space that the PC reserves for supplementing the real memory can become depleted - full of crap, in other words.

It's benign in the sense that nothing awful will happen, just means you may find some programs refuse to start, or possibly already running programs can't do certain things.

You can increase the amount of disk space the PC is allowed to use for virtual memory, but it's not ideal - just means you lose more disk space and the machine runs like a dog.

Do any or all of these:

• Restart the PC more often
• Run less programs concurrently
• Install extra real memory

 

[Hi-ASL]

And motivate the hamsters. For pity's sake, don't forget to motivate the hamsters.

 

[Xanadu]

Press the Windows key and R to bring up the "Run..." window. Type in taskmgr and press return. Once the task manager appears, make sure the Processes tab is displayed, and click on the mem usage menu header. This will sort by mem usage. Post the 5 items with the biggest mem usage up here.

 

[Minnie_the_Minx]

Press the Windows key and R to bring up the "Run..." window. Type in taskmgr and press return. Once the task manager appears, make sure the Processes tab is displayed, and click on the mem usage menu header. This will sort by mem usage. Post the 5 items with the biggest mem usage up here.

First 10

iexplore.exe
Explorer.exe
nod32krn.exe
VoipStunt.exe
taskmgr.exe
services.exe
MSTask.exe
svchost.exe
crss.exe
DF5Serv.exe

 

[8ball]

First 10

iexplore.exe
Explorer.exe
nod32krn.exe
VoipStunt.exe
taskmgr.exe
services.exe
MSTask.exe
svchost.exe
crss.exe
DF5Serv.exe

Get rid of that iexplore.exe sharpish and tell us if it helps.

 

[Minnie_the_Minx]

Get rid of that iexplore.exe sharpish and tell us if it helps.

why?

That's my internet thingy innit?

 

[Hi-ASL]

They can all go in fact. Explorer.exe and Services.exe are also a big puddle of pish.

 

[Minnie_the_Minx]

They can all go in fact. Explorer.exe and Services.exe are also a big puddle of pish.

are you winding me up?

 

[8ball]

Iexplore.exe is a well-known resource hog.

Lots of people do without it entirely.

 

[Hi-ASL]

are you winding me up?

Not at all. The less useless rubbish you have running, the better. Do it for the hamsters.

 

[Hocus Eye.]

I think that they are trying to convert you to Firefox. No animals including hamsters were harmed in the production of Firefox.

 

[Minnie_the_Minx]

I think that they are trying to convert you to Firefox.

ah right, I installed Firefox before when I had a problem but went back to Explorer. If I delete Explorer I'm going to have to spend weeks teaching my b/f to use Firefox though

 

[Hocus Eye.]

You don't have to delete Explorer, just don't use it and your boyfriend can still use it. It won't be using up resources if it is not running. Anyway what's to learn with Firefox? Set Firefox as the default browser though.

 

[8ball]

Think in Russian.

 

[laptop]

spend weeks teaching my b/f to use Firefox

I applaud you on your strict adherence to a non-discriminatory policy with regard to stupidness and boyfriends.







I think.

 

[Minnie_the_Minx]

You don't have to delete Explorer, just don't use it and your boyfriend can still use it. It won't be using up resources if it is not running. Anyway what's to learn with Firefox? Set Firefox as the default browser though.

Just in case you're not aware, my b/f has lost his short-term memory

It took weeks and weeks of teaching him that clicking once on the "blue e" would bring him to the internet