Your culinary fails?
- Thread starter mrs quoad
- Start date
Dillinger4
Es gibt Zeit
Disaster said:
When I lived in halls, somebody puts some chips in the oven, then went out and left them cooking for 24 hours.
The smell was awful.
What was more frightening was that no fire alarm went off.
Disaster said:I baked a cake, sliced it horizontally (whilst it was still hot) and added the fresh cream filling. It didn't occur to me to let the cake cool down first.
I did that the first time I made a cake. I spent hours making the icing (and the cake, for that matter), then iced the cake straight out of the oven. 
invisibleplanet
porter des cornes
All-time great cookery fails:
Cannon ball dumplings
Toad in the Hell
Crispy unscrambled egg
Cannon ball dumplings
Toad in the Hell
Crispy unscrambled egg
Looby
Well-Known Member
Dillinger4 said:
I used to do this sort of thing when I first left home.
Twice I came home from the pub, put something in the oven and then passed out pissed. The second time I was so fucked I didn't wake up when the alarms went off (very loud) and the caretaker had to let themselves in my room and wake me up because the pizza had caught fire in my baby belling.
In the same house a lad that lived downstairs put his chip pan on then went over the road to get some sausages. I got back from college to find the house on fire.
Meltingpot
Living in our pools we soon forget about the sea
invisibleplanet said:
I like it
mrsfran
Well-Known Member
A couple of weeks ago I made some bread rolls but ran out of plain flour so I added a load of wholemeal flour. It was like eating rocks. 
I once aided in the abominable creation of a sweet kedgeree. We were stoned, thought it would be nice to add a little sugar and added about half a bagful. Fish and rice and eggs cooked in sugar syrup. It was bad.
I once aided in the abominable creation of a sweet kedgeree. We were stoned, thought it would be nice to add a little sugar and added about half a bagful. Fish and rice and eggs cooked in sugar syrup. It was bad.
Just the other day I was cleaning the oven because it's been letting off an awful stink every time we've used it for about the past month. I thought it was leftover turkey grease from Thanksgiving, so I went to clean it. When I pulled out the oven rack, I found a charred cookie on it! We make those weekly, so no idea how long it'd been there. I can't figure out how a single one ended up on there, either. 
*Miss*Sparkle*
please, call me Sparkle
I tried to make a souffle without eggs once (I used to be vegan and I was a strong believer in that anything can be made without eggs / milk) - it turned out as a big pile of orange slop.
Last night's tea was made of fail too - I wasn't feeling too good and wanted something quite plain for tea, so made some lemon rice with tofu and nuts. I used one of those packs of silken tofu cos I didn't have any of the normal stuff in, and it only went and turned PURPLE when I started cooking it! The colour spread to the rice and everything - it looked really grim and although it tasted lovely I couldn't get over how minging it looked so had to throw it away
Last night's tea was made of fail too - I wasn't feeling too good and wanted something quite plain for tea, so made some lemon rice with tofu and nuts. I used one of those packs of silken tofu cos I didn't have any of the normal stuff in, and it only went and turned PURPLE when I started cooking it! The colour spread to the rice and everything - it looked really grim and although it tasted lovely I couldn't get over how minging it looked so had to throw it away
pogofish
Testicle Hairstyle
Another from the skint student days:
Housemate spent our monthly shared food fund on an industrial sized box of frozen haddock fillets from the fish market & a sack of lentils. He then pissed away the rest & tried to argue that he had saved us so much money by buying such good food in bulk.
So, a month or more's worth of main meals consisted of all the variations on lentils & haddock we could possibly think of. Which was not a great number.
Housemate spent our monthly shared food fund on an industrial sized box of frozen haddock fillets from the fish market & a sack of lentils. He then pissed away the rest & tried to argue that he had saved us so much money by buying such good food in bulk.
So, a month or more's worth of main meals consisted of all the variations on lentils & haddock we could possibly think of. Which was not a great number.
hiccup
King of the Vagabonds
Mixed up curry powder and chilli powder and ended up with food so spicy it triggered my gag reflex.
Not so long ago I made a lentil stew, then had the bright idea of cracking some eggs gently into the stew, so they'd poach. After 20 minutes the whites hadn't even started to set, so I just stirred it all up and ended up with a lentil and semi-scrambled egg mush. That wasn't very nice.
Not so long ago I made a lentil stew, then had the bright idea of cracking some eggs gently into the stew, so they'd poach. After 20 minutes the whites hadn't even started to set, so I just stirred it all up and ended up with a lentil and semi-scrambled egg mush. That wasn't very nice.
