he said there's something in the woodshed....
breaking news:
wild-haired girl tries to create fire with matches and a tile.
fails.
and is cursing the three thousand lighters that appear to have vanished from her flat.
Write a headline for todays newspaper that's appropriate to you
- Thread starter redsnapper
- Start date
he said there's something in the woodshed....
breaking news:
wild-haired girl tries to create fire with matches and a tile.
fails.
and is cursing the three thousand lighters that appear to have vanished from her flat.
Sweet FA
✪ Three rounds Lord, in my .44 ✪
From the Guardian?
QueenOfGoths
Fuck you Dave!
Accompanied by a side ARTICLE ENTITLED
WAITROSE STAFF BRACE THEMSELVES FOR DISAPPOINTMENT AGAIN
marty21
One on one? You're crazy.
"Sometimes i do pop into Waitrose" london man admitted to shocked reporters, "it's at the top of the road, and closer than Sainsbury's", he added. "What I would love", he said aggressively, keegan-like, "would be a branch of Leo's, like that one on Kingsland Road". Leo's confirmed that they are not currently looking to expand from their E8 base to NW6
PacificOcean
Unhinged User
bmd
Island in the stream.
Man's trousers called 'slacks',
affront ensues
affront ensues
Earlier today a young woman, possibly blind, called into question the cut of a debonair Northerner's jib, with the remark "I like your slacks, have they sold out of them now at Greenwoods?" a well known pensioners clothing shop, a source close to the incident reported.
The man was seen to exit the scene in a bit of a huff.
Donna Ferentes
jubliado
2 IN 11 OF POPULATION NOW IMMIGRANTS
Village overrun by English newcomers
Village overrun by English newcomers
urbanite in beanbag romp shockah
wifey, a relative newcomer to the world of urban, spent a fair portion of this afternoon on a massive beanbag, having to be hauled up again (like a stuck turtle), and then re-collapsing.
great hilarity ensued when she realised that 'do you want to shuffle the beanbag' was not a euphemism.
she also broke the world records for tea consumption, wine and lemonade consumption, and (well dealt with) idiot intolerance.
hopefully the 37 has got her home safely else we will actually see her in the papers tomorrow
wifey, a relative newcomer to the world of urban, spent a fair portion of this afternoon on a massive beanbag, having to be hauled up again (like a stuck turtle), and then re-collapsing.
great hilarity ensued when she realised that 'do you want to shuffle the beanbag' was not a euphemism.
she also broke the world records for tea consumption, wine and lemonade consumption, and (well dealt with) idiot intolerance.
hopefully the 37 has got her home safely else we will actually see her in the papers tomorrow
rollinder
Dont walk away in silence
insomnia epidemic spreads
I only had 1 hours sleep last night claims woman.
29 year old urbanite blames caffeine in beechams capsules
QUITE WRONG - Stephen Fry and QI Elves in interesting but wrong information shock
(alt heading Twitter addiction affects/bad for your dreams)
Rollinder a 29 year old member of alegedly popular new fangled interweb posting thing twitter claims it's a combination of that + valarien that causes very strange dreams.
"I dreamt Stephen Fr was my friend" she said yesterday.
Stephen Fry was too busy filming abroad and pretending to be a seahorse on the internet to give us a comment.
I only had 1 hours sleep last night claims woman.
29 year old urbanite blames caffeine in beechams capsules
QUITE WRONG - Stephen Fry and QI Elves in interesting but wrong information shock
(alt heading Twitter addiction affects/bad for your dreams)
Rollinder a 29 year old member of alegedly popular new fangled interweb posting thing twitter claims it's a combination of that + valarien that causes very strange dreams.
"I dreamt Stephen Fr was my friend" she said yesterday.
Stephen Fry was too busy filming abroad and pretending to be a seahorse on the internet to give us a comment.
Bakunin
I am Noodle's bitch.
ok.
masked baby-eating anarchist threatens to descend on london
he's intent on destroying the entire fabric of civilisation, says unnamed source
rollinder
Dont walk away in silence
rival scoop on re Bakunin's story
Baby eating anarchists already plotting destruction from the heart of Brixton
Disguised members of a mysterious cult of urban75, known only as urbanites, are living and working in London.
Your neighbour or colleague could be one of these deadly persons, second only to terrorists in their evilness.
Their headquarters is known to be The Albert and the shadowy figure behind it all, The Editor uses a internt 'message board to recruit more followers.
"Members of urban75 swore at me" - says police spokesman
Baby eating anarchists already plotting destruction from the heart of Brixton
Disguised members of a mysterious cult of urban75, known only as urbanites, are living and working in London.
Your neighbour or colleague could be one of these deadly persons, second only to terrorists in their evilness.
Their headquarters is known to be The Albert and the shadowy figure behind it all, The Editor uses a internt 'message board to recruit more followers.
"Members of urban75 swore at me" - says police spokesman
Artaxerxes
Look out, he's got a gnu!
Ancient Persian King loses Arch Support
"At my age I need good foot support and these work shoes are just to flat for comfort"
"At my age I need good foot support and these work shoes are just to flat for comfort"
bouncer_the_dog
Well-Known Member
Oxford Office Ambivalent to passing of Goody
'I don't know why people are so obsessed with it' said one worker today.
'I don't know why people are so obsessed with it' said one worker today.
brixton local with squirrel namesake looks terribler than normal
"if she leaves the flat, she'll scare the children," said her landlord earlier.
the bags under tufty's eyes are currenly the size of an entire luggage set, and she has lost her hairbrush.
locals should not accost this woman, as she will just weep at them.
"if she leaves the flat, she'll scare the children," said her landlord earlier.
the bags under tufty's eyes are currenly the size of an entire luggage set, and she has lost her hairbrush.
locals should not accost this woman, as she will just weep at them.
seeformiles
Lost in the wood
Morning Glory Transforms Mundane Monday
Reports are coming in of a man sporting a "well-laid" look as he arrived at work. "He's way too cheerful for a Monday", said one onlooker, "Must have got lucky this morning - the spawny get!" (before expolding in a puff of jealousy)
Reports are coming in of a man sporting a "well-laid" look as he arrived at work. "He's way too cheerful for a Monday", said one onlooker, "Must have got lucky this morning - the spawny get!" (before expolding in a puff of jealousy)
DotCommunist
So many particulars. So many questions.
DC IN DRINKING BEFORE LUNCHTIME SHOCKA!
'He is spanking it like a good 'un' a source told us
'He is spanking it like a good 'un' a source told us
tufty in about to leave house shockah
she has been steeling herself all morning for this - the training has been intense. ms seventynine is due to keep an appointment for a whirlwind liaison with an (as yet) un-met urbanite in possession of a spare oystercard.
the staff in the albert are currently battening down their hatches and wishing that ms seventynine had moved somewhere not *quite* as close as she did...
tufty also proudly commented that she has not *touched* the full bottle of wine next to her, despite having bawled half the morning.
and is off to find her support worker afters.
the residents of brixton are preparing to cheer and provide a motorcade. or throw tomatoes - not quite sure which, yet.
she has been steeling herself all morning for this - the training has been intense. ms seventynine is due to keep an appointment for a whirlwind liaison with an (as yet) un-met urbanite in possession of a spare oystercard.
the staff in the albert are currently battening down their hatches and wishing that ms seventynine had moved somewhere not *quite* as close as she did...
tufty also proudly commented that she has not *touched* the full bottle of wine next to her, despite having bawled half the morning.
and is off to find her support worker afters.
the residents of brixton are preparing to cheer and provide a motorcade. or throw tomatoes - not quite sure which, yet.
sheothebudworths
Up the bum - no babies!!!
Brighton household enters fifth day with no hot water or heating!
Plumber 'inept'
Plumber 'inept'
Artaxerxes
Look out, he's got a gnu!
Fucking bastard company and its fucking shitty management
"Bloody recession claims next victim, he's very pissed off and blames middle management"
"Bloody recession claims next victim, he's very pissed off and blames middle management"
SpookyFrank
Don't swallow the cap
Local man overcome by vague but potent sense of mortal dread
"Well what can I say, it's Monday" man tells reporters.
"Well what can I say, it's Monday" man tells reporters.
Paulie Tandoori
shut it you egg!
Bus mania!!!
Dazed man gets on 341 instead of 476!!!
I only noticed when it went up Green Lanes, he claims.
Dazed man gets on 341 instead of 476!!!
I only noticed when it went up Green Lanes, he claims.
marty21
One on one? You're crazy.
it's an easy mistake to make, claimed one local, they all look the same them buses, apart from the 38
Similar threads
