worst song evar

Discussion in 'music, bands, clubs & festies' started by killer b, Mar 26, 2008.

  1. killer b

    killer b Minimum Waste / Maximum Joy

    i was driven out of a pub the other night by a truly dismal pop-punk version of the proclaimers' '500 miles'. i honestly don't think i've ever heard anything so poor in my life. (google suggests it's either pennywise or less than jake - i suspect less than jake, but no audio on this computer).

    what't the worst thing you've ever heard? no obvious shit please... :)

    edit - it could even be spunge...
  2. Paulie Tandoori

    Paulie Tandoori shut it you egg!

    anything/everything by radiohead, coldplay, athlete, snow patrol, maroon 5 and the whole goddamn lot of those misery-faced dad-rocker type bores.

    the end.
    skyscraper101 likes this.
  3. The Groke

    The Groke hot hail/Paging Dr. Beat

    I feel you creepin', I can see you from my shadow.
    Wanna jump up in my Lamborghini Gallardo.
    Maybe go to my place and just kick it, like Taebo.
    And possibly bend you over.
    Look back and watch me
    Smack that, all on the floor,
    Smack that, give me some more,
    Smack that, 'till you get sore
    Smack that, oooh.
    Smack that, all on the floor,
    Smack that, give me some more,
    Smack that, 'till you get sore,
    Smack that, oooh.

    :mad::mad::mad::mad::mad:.....damn, maxed out on madfaces and it is NOWHERE NEAR ENOUGH.
  4. skunkboy69

    skunkboy69 Reverend of Eternal Light

    Anything with Morrisey singing it.It's the most monotone drivel I've ever heard and I never understood why a great guitarist like Marr would work with such garbage.
    moomoo, campanula and hash tag like this.
  5. Cloo

    Cloo Surfeit of lampreys

    Anything by R Kelly, perhaps. Or Sealion Dione.
  6. killer b

    killer b Minimum Waste / Maximum Joy

    you can do better than that, paulie. :(

    swarf - you dissapoint me. smack that is a tune.
  7. kained&able

    kained&able Here for the football.

    the man speaks sense!

  8. Paulie Tandoori

    Paulie Tandoori shut it you egg!

    soz mate but i can't. their entire arse-wipe of output universally overshadows my whole other musical universe.

    i've even got a kenny everett album of the 20 worst songs ever on puke green vinyl and they're all good compared, honest :)
  9. skunkboy69

    skunkboy69 Reverend of Eternal Light

    I expect to be hung drawn and quartered soon.Morissey REALLY can't sing and I'd love to meet the person who told him he could.
  10. El Jefe

    El Jefe .. the Rural Juror

    Neil Young, Bob Dylan, Tom Waits and Leonard Cohen also 'can't sing'.

    Celine Dion and Mariah Carey can.

    What's your point?
    Saul Goodman likes this.
  11. skunkboy69

    skunkboy69 Reverend of Eternal Light

    Ok I'll agree with you about Dylan :)
  12. mattie

    mattie missing in inaction

    I was once hounded out of a pub by the Lighthouse Family on continuous loop on the free jukebox.
  13. El Jefe

    El Jefe .. the Rural Juror

    Cyndi Lauper's cover of What's Going On made me want to slaughter millions.
  14. ChrisFilter

    ChrisFilter Like a boss.

    Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol. The only song I'd leave a pub for.
    hash tag likes this.
  15. paolo

    paolo Well-Known Member

    We Built This City On Rock And Roll - Jefferson Starship
  16. Firky

    Firky The first of the gang Banned

    Coldplay made me walk of woolies because I couldn't bare the song but Brand New Heavies - Midnight At The Oasis makes me want to tear my own head off.
  17. perplexis

    perplexis A change of scene, a change of style....

    Good call I fucking hate that song it grates so hard. I don't know if there can be a "worst song evar" there's so many fucking awful ones to choose from, but then thankfully they disappear.
    I mean M People, FFS, horrible but vanished
    Lighthouse Family also gone (actually I had to endure some of their shit in a pub the other day it was very painful)
    I can't remember the last time I heard any Mariah Carey.

    But I think the nexus of shocking crap that is Chris Martin + Kanye West is the one that does it for me recently. I can't believe how amazingly insulting the combination of blandest fake-indie with blandest R&B is to mine ears :mad:
  18. Paulie Tandoori

    Paulie Tandoori shut it you egg!

    ouch, yes, that is proper nasty :mad:
  19. SpookyFrank

    SpookyFrank If it's alive, don't lick it.

    'Fix you' by Coldplay. If you're going to make a whole song that's pretty much just a vocal and some chords on a synth, make sure the singer is actually capable of singing in tune first.
  20. cliche guevara

    cliche guevara Well-Known Member

    I heard a song on Radio One yesterday which was some guy rapping over The Cure. That made me want to go postal, was truely the worst thing I have ever heard, it didn't even go! I can understand sampling, but this was just the whole song, with Robert Smiths beautiful vocals replaced with bad rapping. Should be illegal. Edith Bowman clearly hated it too.
  21. SpookyFrank

    SpookyFrank If it's alive, don't lick it.

    Oh, and that Nancy Sinatra song 'my baby shot me down' when some fucktard 'remixed' it by tacking a shit drum machine beat on top and cutting the vocal track up a bit. Every time I hear it on the radio I think to myself 'I love this song' and then those fucking drums come in and my heart breaks every time :(
    campanula likes this.
  22. cliche guevara

    cliche guevara Well-Known Member

    Wasn't that Audio Bullys? I quite like them :oops:
    skyscraper101 likes this.
  23. Augie March

    Augie March can i offer you a nice egg in this trying time?

    Ok, it's recent and it's pretty obvious... but it has to be Rockstar by Nickelback.

    It's a turgid, shit-infested, plodding 'rock' song that is so by-numbers and so painfully obvious, that even tone-deaf, musically inept people like myself can probably predict every chord change in it.

    Then add to that, the fact that Chad Kroeger has a voice that that makes the death knell of a cute kitty being sadisticly maimed sound positively endearing.

    And then there's the lyrics. The fucking, patronising, appeal-to-the-lowest common demoniator, ego-inflating, materialistic utter wankfest that are the lyrics. This is what truly makes this abomination, the worst song of all time. Example:

    'Cause we all just wanna be big rockstars
    And live in hilltop houses, driving fifteen cars
    The girls come easy and the drugs come cheap
    We'll all stay skinny 'cause we just won't eat
    And we'll hang out in the coolest bars
    In the VIP with the movie stars
    Every good gold digger's
    Gonna wind up there
    Every Playboy bunny
    With her bleach blonde hair

    And you know, there is isn't a trace of irony in there. It's like a prayer for the desperate. An ode to everything that's crass and pathetic about the modern world. It's Paris Hilton in songform. Hell, it should probably be the new American national anthem.

    And that is why I believe, Cockstar, I mean Rockstar, is the worst song ever. :)

    *goes for a lie down
    harpo likes this.
  24. ChrisFilter

    ChrisFilter Like a boss.

    Er... there is. In fact, the whole song is a bit of a pisstake! :D
  25. SpookyFrank

    SpookyFrank If it's alive, don't lick it.

    Yes, they are fucking superb aren't they? I can barely comprehend the vast musical genius that must be required to come up with 'that's a good song, let's chuck a cheesy drumbeat at it and get rich for our trouble' :mad:
  26. CalmerChameleon

    CalmerChameleon famous destroyer of peace

    Anything by James Blunt

    Perfect 10 by the Beautiful South

    Take It Easy by the Eagles

    Anything by the Black Eyed Peas
  27. cliche guevara

    cliche guevara Well-Known Member

    I never said they were clever, just that I quite like them. Maybe you should go have a little lie down.
  28. Augie March

    Augie March can i offer you a nice egg in this trying time?

    Really? Fuck me. I've been out-smarted by Chad Kroeger in the irony stakes. :(:(:(

    *kills self
  29. editor

    editor hiraethified

    'Mind Train' by Yoko Ono has to be a contender.

    It really is in a league above (below) what's been offered on this thread so far (think, 'drowning cat').
  30. articul8

    articul8 Dishonest sociopath

    Blatantly it's Zombie by The Cranberries
    Favelado likes this.

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