Worst job training session

Discussion in 'education & employment' started by Cloo, Oct 20, 2017.

  1. Cloo

    Cloo Surfeit of lampreys

    Oh dear, just been through a mega-awkward training session with my wider team. We thought it would be a good idea to get someone external in if enough people wanted time management training, and that was arranged. It was clearly not going to go well from the moment the bloke started. For a start his English wasn’t really up to the job and he couldn’t explain himself clearly (and had very odd cadence that made it seem constantly like he was expecting you to finish his sentence and made him quite difficult to listen to for a long period) and was rather repetitive. He seemed to treat it more as a project management than a time thing, and wasn’t even about the kind of project we do so we tried to steer him towards ‘soft skills’ stuff about managing daily workload, which was what we were actually after. There were also several opportunities where he could have asked us what we thought something meant, or how we could deal with something, when he just basically read a slide about it.

    After lunch he knew he’d lost us so he just dashed through his slides, with a few people trying not to have giggling fits at the awkwardness, and finished 2.5 hours earlier than planned. Soooo… we had a bit of a debrief – none of us blamed the poor bloke, who seemed to have been put on the job at the last minute and not briefed properly (and they didn’t appear to have responded to a ‘wish list’ of content we’d sent them), it’s totally the training company’s fault. Girl who organised it is going to be asking for, in the very least, some sort of compensation and possibly our money back.

    There were a couple of worthwhile points to be taken from it, but nothing that’s likely to stick given the poor delivery.

    What’s your worst training experience?
  2. StoneRoad

    StoneRoad heckling from the back!

    Given or received ?

    I think the worst training session I was in the audience for was one on diversity. The guy giving it was patently unprepared and very much against the idea itself, as were quite a few of the other attendees. It got very awkward when I called them out on just one point ... Luckily, I wasn't at that company for very long, otherwise I would have quickly blown several fuses. It was quite a few years ago, and when I met someone from there just recently, the situation had drastically improved with changes to management and policies.

    Given - probably one when I was being assessed as a trainer ! Although I had carefully prepared the materials etc, the trainees were severely put off by the situation and failed miserably to cope. (This was despite already knowing most of the topic already - and having done most of the materials correctly and repeatedly both before and afterwards in front of others, and a video camera. The film was used instead, so I got the qualification by default, one of the bosses thought that the staff concerned were trying to pull off some stunt or other, not realising that they might also suffer if I didn't pass the test).
  3. Cloo

    Cloo Surfeit of lampreys

    I guess either given or received would be interesting.
  4. izz

    izz Madam, to you. :-P.

    Someone fell asleep once, snoring quite loudly. Earned Value Management.
  5. catinthehat

    catinthehat Failed VK = Replicant

    Far to many people in the training sector set themselves up as experts in this and that and will take on anything if the money is there. We have had several organisations who have used our training recycle our material and then sell courses delivered by a person who has attended one course so will be ill prepared to deal with questions or situations that arise. Its really annoying because it can lead to the methods being discredited when the information is given piecemeal or without worthwhile discussions.
    Last edited: Oct 20, 2017
    stuff_it likes this.
  6. Winot

    Winot I wholeheartedley agree with your viewpoint

    I once gave a training lecture whilst trying (a) not to throw up and (b) trying not to catch the eye of the people in the audience who were in a similar predicament, having been in the bar with me until 4am the night before.
  7. BemusedbyLife

    BemusedbyLife Well-Known Member

    Not a training session but a management briefing, at the first place I worked we had a Senior Manager who used to ask questions of the audience and chuck sweets at them when they answered correctly which always made me think we were a bunch of performing monkeys (come to think of it that probably was management view of us anyway)
    May Kasahara, Enviro, salem and 2 others like this.
  8. BlueSquareThing

    BlueSquareThing With chips

    Oh god, yes - I remember my prevent "training"...
  9. weltweit

    weltweit Well-Known Member

    The induction for a particular job consisted of being walked around, introduced to people (whose names I immediately forgot), which took perhaps an hour - then being left in an office with a computer to get on with it :).

    As it happened that didn't work out too badly, but I had expected a little more support than 2 hours on the first day.
  10. farmerbarleymow

    farmerbarleymow Sweetcorn, Seagulls and Wasps are Brilliant!

    Most ineffective course received - being sent on an IT course (called something like Object Oriented Design, or similar bollocks). Me and a colleague went on it, only to find within the first ten minutes that it was clearly aimed at people who did this stuff for a living - an introduction it was not. Two days of sitting there not having a clue what the hell they were on about. Cost - about a grand each I think, and that was around 15 years ago. Think I've still got the textbook we were given - it was astonishingly tedious.

    Given - delivering training to a group of thirty or so colleagues in another bit of the organisation. They collectively were very resistant to what they were expected to do (i.e. what I was training them in), and one chap in particular was a complete arse. Challenging the whole premise, being difficult at every opportunity, saying his boss wouldn't like this, etc. The atmosphere was tense, and at one point I was tempted to chuck him out of the session for being a disruptive tosser. Instead, I slapped him down with the message that he needed to speak to the head of the organisation if he or his boss disagreed with the task I was training them in, as they had approved it. A few days later I walked past him and he had his head down very sheepishly. Twat. :D

    Delivered a number of sessions when I was very hungover (or still pissed to be honest). That was fun...but I was an expert at winging it from memory thankfully.
    BemusedbyLife and Cloo like this.
  11. Silas Loom

    Silas Loom The people have spoken, the bastards.

    I thought this thread would explain, with pictures, how to get the lobsters out of Jayne Mansfield’s arsehole.
  12. stuff_it

    stuff_it stirred the primordial soup

    I've actually just started a business creating bespoke training materials for trainers, in the hopes of preventing people from sitting through crap training courses delivered by muppets that don't know what they're doing. We even give coaching on how to deliver our courses, and advice, even to the level of how to find a venue and what to charge. I'm guessing some clients will still manage to make a pigs ear of it.

    Before some wag points out that all I know about training is how not to complete it, my business partner doesa actually have a ton of relevant experience. :D

    For the right fee I'm more than happy to create a training course on this subject. Are you planning to do it via distance learning, or through practical one-day workshops? Perhaps an app would help?
  13. extra dry

    extra dry Happy to be here

    Presenting medical products in front of 40 or so people.

    My great idea as a opener...not the newly designed and iniotive catheter no it was the safe and easy to introduce butt plug.
    equationgirl and farmerbarleymow like this.
  14. donkyboy

    donkyboy Crazy cat man

    I find these training nonsense a load of crap. We have what is called "lasting impressions" training based round the emotional intelligence. waste of time and i've found no use out of it. these training days are just used by those in the development teams to justify their wages. you got to be seen to be earning your wage so go googling for training courses and sell the shit to management who then give the go a head for it.
  15. likesfish

    likesfish officaly hardest and most tooled up urbanite:)

    attacking the "soviet" trench system on Salisbury plain.
    pretty sure russians even in the commie days werent fucking umpa loopmas:mad: the trench complex was about 4 foot deep :facepalm: so spent two hours on my hands and knees trying to keep my face out of the arse of the squaddie in front anyone raising there head got it stamped on by umpires utterly pointless:(
    iamwithnail, izz, gawkrodger and 2 others like this.
  16. Cloo

    Cloo Surfeit of lampreys

    God, bad army training sessions must take it to a whole new level of awful.
    Enviro and likesfish like this.
  17. extra dry

    extra dry Happy to be here

    One of our guys gave a writing training course, only all his notes, power points etc had been picked up by someone else.

    He managed to pump out 2 hours of stuff in under 30 minutes, sometimes less is more.
  18. VJobs

    VJobs New Member

    The word training session implies we are supposed to learn something but I understand that not to be the case, and often can become a day out of the office for the crew... I hope you took some notes :thumbs:
  19. mrs quoad

    mrs quoad Well-Known Member

    Is a vjob in any way related to a vjazzle?
    Enviro likes this.
  20. bemused

    bemused Well-Known Member

    The worst I went to was when one of my former managers at BT arranged a two-day event and during the first day every single person excused themselves from the team dinner to avoid spending the evening with him.
    A380 likes this.
  21. May Kasahara

    May Kasahara thoughts start with a laser sound

    A dry PowerPoint presentation on procurement for schools, delivered by a man with a very dull voice. It was only 30 minutes but felt more like 30 million hours.
  22. mrs quoad

    mrs quoad Well-Known Member

    Insofar as I’m now an academic, I guess this counts.

    We had joint schools research training, as in all the social scientist Masters students were parcelled together and taught together.

    No academics wanted to teach on it, because it was fuck all to do with their own course.

    One cunt of a geographer would come along every week, give out a photocopy of a textbook, then read it out loud, verbatim. Slowly. In a very bored voice.

    A full-on, hardcore display of “I don’t give a fuck about any of this, and I don’t give a fuck about any of you.”

    1.5 hours per week. Ten weeks.

    Cambridge masters, that was.

    (The lecturer is now dead. Idk. When I discovered that - whilst wondering what had happened to the most awful lecturer I’ve ever encountered - I’d like to say I felt at least trivially sorry.)
    A380 likes this.
  23. likesfish

    likesfish officaly hardest and most tooled up urbanite:)

    Army "organised" fun can be worse though Boxing Day potted sports.

    All the fun of schools sports day crossed with special forces training all done with a massive hangover:facepalm:.

    Such fun activitys as pull a four ton truck round a track
    Stretcher race up a cliff :eek:
    Running up and down a beach carrying a RIB :mad: ( never let a pti watch GI jane they may get ideas:()
    A380 and May Kasahara like this.
  24. Plumdaff

    Plumdaff joy in people

    When I was working for a London NHS Trust an outgoing Borough Director decided to 'gift' the entire Directorate her favourite piece of management training, a load of pseudo psychological codswallop based around some Shakespeare quotations. I got so irate at the point the presenter appeared to imply that Holocaust victims might have improved their lot with more positive thinking - like this quote from Henry V - that I walked out. I was convinced I'd be in serious trouble for doing so but so did lots of More Important People so I couldn't be given a bollocking if they weren't too.
    likesfish likes this.
  25. rubbershoes

    rubbershoes not the only raver in the village

    We had a motivational speaker who turned out to be an after dinner speaker.

    It didn't really work with a sober early afternoon audience
    A380 and likesfish like this.

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