Worst gig you've played?

[upsidedownwalrus]

My only gig. In my first term at Uni, a fellow rock-appreciating mate and I used to go and jam for a laugh down at this local practice studio, me on guitar, him on drums. I had already written some 'songs' prior to going to Uni, mostly sub-nirvana and quite poor. We decided to play a 'gig' at our hall of residence's end of term talent show. We found another guy to sing alongside me, and a keyboard player.

We practiced quite a bit and at times it actuallyk sonded quite good. But on the night, two of my guitar strings broke just as I got on stage, and I had to borrow a mate's guitar, which was impossible to get in tune. The mixing was also terrible and you couldn't even hear the keyboard, which might have just abotu made it sound passable. It was also only at this point that we realised our singer couldn't really sing



The next day at the Hall meeting they thanked our band for 'clearing the hall'

 

[miniGMgoit]

My worst gig was so bad
We were playing at a venue called Caz Retop's Dirty Secret and were playing at about 9:30 on a wednesday night. The place was actually rammed with lots of people all paying lots of attention to the woman playing before us. Cheering after each song and not speaking while she was playing. The womans music was bad. Sort of like the music from Juno only even more rubbish.
There was a really quick turn around between acts. We got up and plugged in. Everyone was now talking really loudly (fair enough I thought, they'll give us the same respect they gave the person before).
We started playing, they started talking louder. I actually could'nt hear what we were playing they were talking so loud. Then rather rapidly they all cleared off in the space of 1 song
There was 1 table with 2 people sitting on it left. They got up and I stopped playing and shouted at them stating "Don't you dare fucking leave".
They sat down and very politly watched us play.
Afterwards I went up and appologised to them. They laughed and said that all the people here before had been here to say the previous act (she'd even brought her parents), and not to worry.
The rudest crowd I have ever seen. They asked us to play there again but we told them the crowd were rude as fuck, grabbed the money and ran off.

 

[Epona]

Long long time ago now. We were booked to play the night of some world cup qualifier or somesuch which guaranteed a small turnout. Our drummer had quit the band a couple of days beforehand, the venue owner's young teen son played drums and he was thrilled to stand in but we only had time for one rehearsal, he actually did a fantastic job considering he didn't know most of the set prior to the day of the gig, but obviously we were not as polished as usual.

The final straw - When we were doing our final number, the ceiling of the venue collapsed, with a few of the (thankfully small, as it turned out) audience sustaining minor injuries.

 

[miniGMgoit]

Blood all over the kit... nowadays they call that "theatrics". lol

In Southern California in the late 70s there was a huge backyard party scene.

In fact, very often we had no gig, we just loaded up my station wagon and drove around.

"Hmm, why are there 500 cars parked on this street?"

We'd pull up to the house, there was usually a hippy biker passed out on the front lawn...

"Hey man, what's up?"

"Oh hey, Davey's moving out next week so we're throwing a kegger and trashing the place."

"Ya" got a band?"

"No."

"Well ya' do now."

"Hey man... we got a band!"

Five minutes later ten freaks are helping us set up our gear.

Our biggest kegger had 2500 people and the riot squad.

Finally the cops started busting them at 8:30 and the party scene began to evaporate.

Thx

You are so

 

[Wolveryeti]

Worst gig I ever played was when we lent a lead to the band playing before us as a kind favour, and one of the dopey fucks took off with it. No-one else had one. Had to play without the bassist. Sucked.

 

[BlackArab]

I played a DJ set in Bristol once which got gassed by some twats who couldn't accept it was a private function. What made it surreal was I had no idea what was going on as I had just stepped up for my turn and had the phones over both ears. Looking at the record which was already playing I had realised I had loads of time to get my first tune ready so was quite relaxed.

Bear in mind this was a long function room above a public bar which had its own bar running down one side and I am on a small stage at the end facing the main doors. The lads with the gas on getting the knockback have returned and thrown or sprayed something thru the main door and legged it. I am unaware of this like most people until I am confronted with a really surreal scene.

As the gas drifts down the room towards me its invisible but as it hits people they go from chatting and laughing to clawing at their eyes, screaming and then fleeing the room. At first I think its a fight but can see no one fighting. I do know that something invisible is affecting people and causing sheer terror and panic, and eventually will hit me last due to my position at the back. The worse thing for me is I can see people who are yet to be affected looking puzzled or not noticing until the thing hits them and they react like the others.

Now bear in mind that as was my habit(!) at the time I have just finished a fat one before getting on the decks and I am now standing there with my headphones still on and cannot hear anything but the track playing so all this is being played out like mime to a Hip Hop soundtrack. Oh and this was the late 90s and I was a big X-Files fan at the time, cue paranoia and alien theories from my addled and shocked brain.

Eventually it hits me and I now realise its gas and react the same way. I get outside, eyes streaming and then remember I have left my records inside. With the colossal stupidity that only other men will recognise, I battle my way back in, coughing and spluttering to collect my precious vinyl almost throwing up the whole time. This time however instead of heading back the way, I came I notice a fire escape and head that way. Outside on a balcony I find a group of others including a very good female friend of mine who finding out I had already got out, berates me for coming back in to rescue my records.

To my immense shame I deny this and convince her they were in my hand the whole time but I came back in to look for her.

Luckily she is pissed enough to believe me.

 

[Kanda]

2 really..

1st: Playing at the Egg in Kings Cross.. none of the equipment or soundsytem worked in the top room. Couldn't mix one track! But played great tunes.
2nd: Was playing Turnmills, played the early set 12-2. Had a blinder! Got off the decks promoter had a go at me cos everyone that came into the club had to come through that room on the way to see Tall Paul downstairs. But they didn't, they stayed in the room I played in.. pissed people off apparently.

Not had a gig since lol

 

[lunatrick]

there's been a few - ..but the one that springs to mind is flying to glasgow to play a set - expecting to get the air fare back plus wages...meeting the promoter who was quite clearly deeply deluded and wrong,something about prescription drugs I think?, there being about 10 people there, some ridiculous and bummy PA..and then him not being able to supply after hours drinks or drugs (glasgow?) no air fare no wages. For some reason of politeness we offered him a gig - he didn't show.

 

[BlackArab]

2 really..

1st: Playing at the Egg in Kings Cross.. none of the equipment or soundsytem worked in the top room. Couldn't mix one track! But played great tunes.
2nd: Was playing Turnmills, played the early set 12-2. Had a blinder! Got off the decks promoter had a go at me cos everyone that came into the club had to come through that room on the way to see Tall Paul downstairs. But they didn't, they stayed in the room I played in.. pissed people off apparently.

Not had a gig since lol

I've had that a couple of times. wtf are you expected to do? play like shit to make the headliner look good

 

[Kanda]

I've had that a couple of times. wtf are you expected to do? play like shit to make the headliner look good

I was kinda gutted but also a bit proud. Room was going mental, I saw my promoters disaproving face so dropped Cafe Del Mar in a fuck you kinda fashion

 

[sherriff rosco]

On the other side of the fence..manning the desk I`ve had a few memorable evenings.

My favourite was doing a 3 band bill in a club in Hoxton ( shoud`ve had the pretentious radar on full alert I know!).
So I rock up as a covering engineer, the kit is set up and bands on in 10 mins!! ekkk! The first bloke was just a singer / guitarist very good and was bashing out a few good songs. I was ducking between the desk ( side of stage ) and out front. Sounds alright to me. Then this bloke walks up to the desk
" who the fuck are you? it sounds fucking shit ...you`re a wanker.." he dribbled through his drunken state

"!Err...who the fuck are you..? " I ask politely in case it`s the owner!

" You`re a cunt, you wanker, you`re fucking dead, cunt, wanker" ..more of the same for a couple of minutes.

So at that point I ignore him and carry on with keeping an eye on the stage. Drunk man wanders off..

Then the second band come on, I hadn`t even seen a rider or know who`s playing as it was a total last minute stand-in. Out comes 3 girls wearing 4/10ths of fuck all and a bloke in a gimp mask. Well! This is going to be interesting. So up steps gimp-man to the mike. He hits play on their backing track, grabs the mic and looks at me....

" you`re a fucking cunt , you wanker, die mother fucker" and flobs a big greenie at me ( thank god for big mixing desks to hide behind!)

Ah ha! I know who`s under the mask now!

So gimp-man then proceeds to start trashing the mic , smashing it into the stage, wedges,ceiling and holding it into the monitors to get feedback. He`d already dispatched the mic stand to metal heaven within 10 seconds. So I just got on with turning the wedges down every time he went for the big "screeeeechhhh" . This seemed to wind him up even more so he took to leaning over the desk and trying to hit me with the mic. Can`t say I`ve ever had that one before! My missus was watching and came round to make sure I didn`t get up there and have a go as I sorely wanted to! Meanwhile the girls are getting their kit off and strutting about to the electro backing track. The crowd were in as much shock as I was but I was kinda having fun as the frist track rumbled on.

Mr Gimp-man in the end found out that if he rammed the microphone into the main P.A he could get an almighty howl out of it and that kept him amused for a couple more minutes, but I then just turned him off at the appropriate moment to try save the poor speakers. The girls were writhing around on some random sofas at the back of the stage all in the name of performance art / music, god knows what.

All was going well until..."RIIIIIPPPPPPP".

One of the girls who was upside down on the sofa waving her legs in the air stilletos caught on one of the very expensive pieces of artwork which was being flogged around the room, I remember seeing a lot of zeros on that particular piece! The bar manager had been holding off for a while but that was the final straw and the bar staff got on stage and man-handled them all off , with Gimp-man having to be literally dragged off by his rubber suit.

Funnily enuff he never thanked me for doing their sound..all in a days work!

.p.

 

[damnhippie]

/\/\/\ =

sheriff roscoe, i think i've seen that band!