Working parents thread

[Cloo]

I actually think working is going to be less tiring than being at home when she's a toddler! My job's fairly sedate, although busier at some times than others, but I do think it won't be that bad. Keeping on top of domestic shit might be the hard part, which is one reason a 'mother's help' might be good.

 

[Cloo]

OK, I'm currently in a state of relief - I've had no luck so far ascertaining how much childcare vouchers would save us on the childcare. There was one figure I hoped it was, but then other people/sources had suggested it would only be around £100 a month, which would be barely any use to us at all with London childcare costs.

I asked my bro a while ago, but he said he'd given up keeping track of it and couldn't remember. But today I asked gsv's sis-in-law, and she could just tell me outright how much they saved (they're basically the same income bracket as us) and the answer was a great relief. So now I'm assured it is a meaningful sum and it does make it financially worthwhile me going back to work!

 

[ChrisFilter]

Interesting thread. We're currently trying to pay off all our debts so we can have kids. Need to be able to survive on my salary alone. Not going to be all that easy, but we should manage.

 

[Cloo]

Interesting thread. We're currently trying to pay off all our debts so we can have kids. Need to be able to survive on my salary alone. Not going to be all that easy, but we should manage.

Best of luck - look into all the benefits you can claim. We're eligible for feck all but child benefit, apparently, but most people can claim child tax credits, too.

In fact, we might be able to claim the latter once I'm on my part-time salary, but annoyingly it appears they judge everything by your last years' income, in which case I won't be eligible for a while yet.

 

[baldrick]

One of my NCT pals said she would time it so that her second wouldn't need childcare until her oldest was able to take advantage of the free childcare provision post-3, but surely that's not hugely useful, as I gather ATM it's only 12.5 hours a week and you can only take a max 5 hours (maybe less) of that per day or something. I think I've heard both political parties make noises about extended that provision, and I'd certainly be grateful if someone in government would do it!

yeah, the nursery education grant is for max 2.5 hours per day, 5 days a week, for 3 and 4 year olds only.

There is a pilot to extend it to 2 year old going on atm, but this is targeted to vulnerable children and those who would benefit most from it only, those in care, travellers, asylum seekers etc.

The government really needs to pull its finger out regarding affordable childcare and subsidise it properly.

 

[Cloo]

Yeah, in London it takes a lot of people 2.5 hours to get to work and back! Just one full day a week would be better than any amount of 2.5 hours.

 

[_angel_]

Yeah, in London it takes a lot of people 2.5 hours to get to work and back! Just one full day a week would be better than any amount of 2.5 hours.

Not just in London!


Exactly what you can manage to fit into to a standard nursery session at that age isn't very much at all. I once fit in a cleaning job that just happened to be next door to the nursery - that was it!

It doesn't get automatically better when they become school age either (esp in holidays).

 

[trashpony]

Best of luck - look into all the benefits you can claim. We're eligible for feck all but child benefit, apparently, but most people can claim child tax credits, too.

In fact, we might be able to claim the latter once I'm on my part-time salary, but annoyingly it appears they judge everything by your last years' income, in which case I won't be eligible for a while yet.

No, that's not true when they start off. I got WTC from the moment I went back to work but having said that, I didn't get paid enough so they adjusted them at the end of the year and I got a nice cheque

Because they do seem to get them wrong, you can't really rely on them but they do help

 

[Cloo]

It doesn't get automatically better when they become school age either (esp in holidays).

Yeah, I was thinking that Not like you can get working days of 10-2 or whatever so that you can be there for them either side of school.

Thanks for that info Trashy - maybe I'll try phoning them about benefits when my start date approaches.

I'm visiting two child minders next week who appear to have places... one of them is literally round the corner which would be useful if she's up to scratch. The other's pretty close, too.

 

[trashpony]

Yeah, I was thinking that Not like you can get working days of 10-2 or whatever so that you can be there for them either side of school.

Thanks for that info Trashy - maybe I'll try phoning them about benefits when my start date approaches.

I'm visiting two child minders next week who appear to have places... one of them is literally round the corner which would be useful if she's up to scratch. The other's pretty close, too.

Yeah, school age is when I'm planning on moving to the country and going freelance (in the hope that by then companies will be using freelancers again ).

I don't really know how you do a full time job and have a school age child. Breakfast and after-school clubs and playschemes in the holidays is the only way and that's pants for a kid. At least at the childminder, he's in the same place all day long and can chill out a bit, not being schlepped from one place to another.

 

[Choc]

i think i will go back to work beginning of march when the maternity leave stops. but i will start slowly with perhaps only one day a week. before clemens is at least 1 year, ideally, i wouldn't like to give his care to anyone. so we have two options a) either my partner reduces his hours to a 4 day week (perhaps cram 90% into that). or i go back only on saturdays/sundays or c) i would work a late shift and need to find a friend who can care for him for about 5 hours one weekday!

mmmmh? let's see...

 

[Cloo]

Well, we've seen three nurseries now. One on an open day at a weekend, though, not in operation - it was very impressive but it's not really near us and we'd end up with Ez in the car for the best part of or maybe more than an hour a day with her in the car and back, and that's eating precious time on working days. It's not hugely far, but it's rush hour traffic each way. Expensive-ish, but gsv gets a discount at that chain of nurseries from his employers.

At the second one was very near and looked pretty but we just thought the management seemed too vague, plus it was brand new and didn't have many kids (bit of a risk of it never taking off and then shutting) and it didn't seem very warm.

Third is near, though not super-convenient, not a pretty setting but very warm staff and it seems like they do stick around. Much fairer priced than other ones.

On Monday and Tuesday I'm looking at two childminders and there's one more nursery we want to see, then I think it's making our mind up time otherwise we'll be at it forever, especially when gsv can only look at places when we works from home, which is one a week or less frequently. There are more people/places to see potentially, but as one of my NCT girls said, you risk driving yourselves nuts by looking at everything going.

 

[zenie]

As a kid that went to a child minder from 10 months I think I had a wicked time.

I think childminders are also good because they do become a kind of extended family, when you're an only child you get lots of 'family home' type time with other kids of your age or older/younger, rather than being in a purpose built nursery. I dunno maybe childminder's aren't like that anymore? Are they still allowed to be?

 

[Looby]

As a kid that went to a child minder from 10 months I think I had a wicked time.

I think childminders are also good because they do become a kind of extended family, when you're an only child you get lots of 'family home' type time with other kids of your age or older/younger, rather than being in a purpose built nursery. I dunno maybe childminder's aren't like that anymore? Are they still allowed to be?

I think they are. My mates little boy has been with a childminder since 3 or 4 months and he seems to love it. There are other older kids who all look out for him and they go to toddler groups and meet up with other childminders in the area.

 

[LJo]

I went back to work (freelance journo working from home) when MiniLJo was three months. Managed to work with no childcare for the first year but it gets harder the older they get. He then went to a fantastic childminder for the next year and a half, for three days a week, had a brilliant time. We moved three months ago and couldn't find a CM, so we decided to try a nursery.

He seems very happy there and has made lots of friends. It is a relief not having to rely on one person to do the childcare but he did get much more one-on-one with the CM, so we've come to the conclusion that if we have another one we'll do the same - home for first year, then CM, then nursery around three-ish if he/she seems ready. He's now at an age where he's not so interested in the carer, more in the kids around him. I think we've been very lucky - I have a fantastic, confident, happy little boy who is a great advert for childcare. And I really enjoy my work and am extra happy to see him. So hope it all works out for you.

 

[Cloo]

gsv is concerned about not moving Ez too much if we can avoid it. ATM, my inclination would be to put Ez in the last nursery we saw for the first 12-18 months, but we might move her somewhere else when she gets older. Because that nursery is less expensive but still caring, and it's not like she'll notice the difference in expense... but then a lot of other nurseries drop their prices when the kids get to 2 years, so maybe we can go for somewhere else then, and it'll be more affordable.

 

[trashpony]

Elliot is much happier at his CM than he was at the nursery which went a bit tits up because his key carer at nursery (who he adored and who adored him) left after he'd been there 3 months and after that there was just a series of temps and agency staff and the new head of the baby room wasn't that nice.

The beauty of CMs is that you get that continuity which is never guaranteed with a nursery. And also, as zenie said, there is a real family atmosphere which I think is great. My CM looks after her grandson full time and her granddaughter during school holidays, and also minds a couple of other 2-3 year olds. Her husband is around, her daughters are in and out and Elliot's always really excited when we get there in the mornings. He didn't mind going to nursery but I wouldn't say he loved it.

 

[Cloo]

I'm not sure we'll find one who has three days free in the local area, but we might mix CM and nursery potentially. One of the CMs is round the corner, quite literally, so it would be great if she's good. My concern talking to her on the phone was the quality of her English (not her first language, can't make out where she's from, actually), but I'll find out more in person.

 

[Maurice Picarda]

If you want a superb childminder in East Barnet - saintly, devoted to the children she looks after, dedicated to arranging a different and educational outing every day - then drop me a PM. But it's probably a bit far for you.

 

[Cloo]

Yeah, it's a really inconvenient spot for us to get to on the way to work, alas. Thanks for the offer!

 

[Grandma Death]

Ms Death and I both work four days each a week. I have Friday off and she has mondays off. Our lad spends Tues-Thursday in nursery. It works well for both of us and keeps our nursery costs down. The plus side is we each spend an entire day on our own with him and on those days we take him to different toddler classes and other activities. It's great-don't think I could ever go back to working 5 days per week now.

 

[Red Cat]

i go back only on saturdays/sundays
mmmmh? let's see...

This is what I do Choc. I was going to go back in the week for 10 hours and do a 7.5 shift on the Sunday, but after weeks of worry about Rosa starting nursery (subsidised work nursery, so much cheaper than a childminder I'd have chosen otherwise) when she quiet clearly wasn't ready for it, we decided that I would work weekends only. I think its working well, though obviously it cuts down on family time, and we don't get the benefit of there being the two of us caring for her rather than the very tiring work that it is when its just the one. But I love spending my week with her and to know that she's having a lovely time with daddy at the weekends and I don't have to worry at all.

I'm glad to hear that others like the family atmosphere of their childminders because when we leave London I'm thinking it'll be much easier to set myself up as a childminder than to find a part time job in the NHS that allows me to work weekends only. I don't really want to have to do agency. I was worried, though, that people may not like that I was also looking after my own child, but it seems not everyone has a problem with this? Not sure how this would work out if we decide to have another though

Chris: How long is it going to take you to pay off your debts?

 

[Rollem]

I do think that I wouldn't have had the confidence to choose a childminder when I first went back to work

i dont get this. we never wanted to leave madge at a nursery, felt that she would just be lumped in with the other kid there, so to speak, and so childminder was always our preferred option, for more one on one attention.

to us nurseries just seem to lack the personal side of things, a bit sterile imo.
people seem to argue that nurseries are the better option as they children get regular interaction with others their age, but any childminder worth their salt woud ensure your child gets this through attending playgroups etc anyhow.

chosing one was no more difficult than it would have been if chosing a nursery - perhaps less so as we just had to make out mind up about them and their home / environment as opposed to lots of staff / facilties etc. not choosing the childminders that a) forgot i was coming to meet them, b) had three crazy dogs that jumped up at me when i went round, c) were a bit blase about my child, was dead easy

when i first returned to work i went back three days a week. but since madge has gone full time at nursery/pre-school, i have recently gone back to working 5days , 8-2pm. both relahni and i are really very lucky to have emplyers who are fairly flexible when it comes to working hours, i miss my days off! but we dont need childcare during term time now as relahni drops her off and i pick her up and we have a great woman who is availalbe to look after madge in the holidays so at the minute its win win all round.

 

[ATOMIC SUPLEX]

I pay for quite cheap childcare in Croydon and it's still about £700 or so a month. It's like another mortgage. Lucky for me work pays me vouchers for about £140 per month.
My big problem is that I have to go freelance in January. If I am not working I cannot afford childcare but if I get a job (nearly always pretty short notice in my line of work) I might have to turn it down if I can't get a childcare space. I could just be a house husband, but we can only afford to do that for one year.

 

[Poot]

Is there any way that your OH can save up holiday just in case, AS? It's good to have a bit of a "buffer" I found.

We've been very lucky with childcare, as we use the university nursery and they're ace. I've had no qualms about leaving Tiddler there, ever. He totally loves it. In fact even though I'm on maternity leave, he still goes there on Tues and Thurs mornings because I want him to see his mates, and I think he'd miss it.

 

[Choc]

wow its a juggle really isn't it..!

red cat i don't think it would be a problem to be a childminder with an own child. i would certainly not mind, quite the contrary at least the mother would be up to scratch with the latest kids things..
sounds tough that you don't have family time at the moment. that is the problem with weekend working but i would also prefer this over giving child away too young.

 

[trashpony]

i dont get this. we never wanted to leave madge at a nursery, felt that she would just be lumped in with the other kid there, so to speak, and so childminder was always our preferred option, for more one on one attention.

It seems a bit mad in retrospect but I was a bit uneasy relying on my own judgement alone. Nursery seemed safer in that there would be lots of people looking after Elliot rather than just one and also I would be able to turn up and walk in unannounced (which you can't do at a childminder). Maybe I'd have felt differently if I'd had a partner to go and meet them too, I don't know.

Anyway, it's all worked out brilliantly now - my boss has agreed that I can work from home one day a week with Elliot there and just manage my workload around him which is ace so I get 5 days pay still.

RedCat - my CM looks after her grandson, doesn't bother me at all. A lot of CMs start doing it so that they can look after their own children afaics.

 

[mentalchik]

Fair play to all folks on this thread and it also makes me thankful we managed on one wage when mine were little and i didn't have to do all this !

 

[trashpony]

I pay for quite cheap childcare in Croydon and it's still about £700 or so a month. It's like another mortgage. Lucky for me work pays me vouchers for about £140 per month.
My big problem is that I have to go freelance in January. If I am not working I cannot afford childcare but if I get a job (nearly always pretty short notice in my line of work) I might have to turn it down if I can't get a childcare space. I could just be a house husband, but we can only afford to do that for one year.

AS you might be able to find a childminder who would look after Hanano on an ad hoc basis. Mine looks after one little girl on that basis. Worth an ask ...

 

[Rollem]

RedCat - my CM looks after her grandson, doesn't bother me at all.

i always viewed it as preferable if they had their own child, although can see that some mums might not like it.