Whooping Apple store staff

[elbows]

Some dick consultant who was brought into our place a few years ago and became owners best mate, wanted to start a business that would advise UK retail on how to have the same customer service ethic as US stores do. I did not disguise my opinion that the idea was doomed, mostly for cultural reasons. The guy was British but he'd been living in the states for a long time before coming back. He must have been away too long to expect that radical changes could be made, and a healthy profit, trying to force a smile out of the nations retail workers.

Maybe its just me, but when I was a kid my parents were often not wanting to go into small shops because yu'd get pestered by the staff more. Our stiff upper lip extends to retail.

 

[jayeola]

I wish the police was like that though when I was a kid. Wooping and cheering and stuff.

 

[ChrisC]

So do you like to be whooped, clapped and high fived by horribly over-enthusastic staff when you buy products?

Does anyone here?

Has the world gone mad since I left the UK? I have never heard of something so cheesy in my life. I know I'm at the bottom of the world and very isolated from you all, with the exception of the internet. But if I was to walk into a shop with such things going on. I would walk straight out.

I mean it was bad enough when I was over in the UK in PC World. I was asked five times if I needed help. NO I DON'T NEED FUCKING HELP, IF I DID I WOULD ASK. Argghhhhh can you not simply browse shops with out being harassed?

Next it will be your local library. Sheesh.

 

[dennisr]

Not to derail the thread but it's even WORSE in Abercrombie and Fitch's 5th Ave store. There are rows of people to greet you on your way in with a "hi! how are you doing /*cheesy grin*/". Go down the stairs and there's another chap at the bottom of the stairs and he'll have an even-bigger-grin and greet you as well

I went to 'giraffe' once for an overpriced burger and got the same general aura - is it an antipodean/us thing ?

*shudders*

 

[dennisr]

Is that Dave Gorman on the left?

now that puts a different light on the matter

awaits new gorman book title..

 

[stdPikachu]

It's shit like this that makes me want to walk into an Apple store covered head to toe in superglue and see how many acolytes I can get to high-five me.

Last time I was ordered to be enthusiastic about a company "rebranding" exercise I was hauled over the coals for calling the manager in question a vacuous twat. Sorry, but I see fake enthusiasm being foisted upon me as quite appallingly terrible manners and will retaliate in kind.

 

[bouncer_the_dog]

I love the Apple store. I am disappointed if I go and no one Whoops...

 

[lights.out.london]

Does anyone actually like this kind of thing going on when you go in a shop?

My toes are curling already...

 

[pk]

Right I'm off there now.

 

[mhendo]

I'm visiting friends and family in Sydney at the moment. I can go in and slap them all for you, if you like.

 

[DotCommunist]

I'm visiting friends and family in Sydney at the moment. I can go in and slap them all for you, if you like.

don't just slap them, hosptalise the cunts. Video your vicious assaults for great win

 

[Hi-ASL]

Them: whoop!
Me: wtf.

I'm visualising. I would never go into an 'Apple Store'.

 

[Hi-ASL]

Even Can I help you, Sir? irritates me beyond belief. "Yes, you can actually - fuck right off back over there where you came from.."

 

[Boris Sprinkler]

I was in the apple store in pittsburgh (Shadyside) recently, I walked in (I was after an iphone) staff are like "yo man, wassup" "hows things" every single one of them. Cunts.

I also had similar a urban oufitters in Boston. Every single person I walked past in this shop was pretending to be like other shoppers, exvept they were all dressed really cool. Except you'd walk past and they wouldn't offer to help or anything. Just say "hey dude" or whatever. THe idea (I think) being that you would feel good about all these trendy people being friendly towards to and therefore spend more money in a feel good manner.

Well guess what, I don't want to be your fucking friends you effete mumbling buffoons. I want to purchase an item that I already have in mind. I am going to pick it up and fucking pay for it. I don't want a fucking nice day so don't offer me one. If you are going to ingratiate yourselves to me in such a fucking whorish fashion you corporate fucking imbecile i would like to point out I quite like blowjobs. I doubt this is beneath you. You really want to be my friend? It's blowjobs or GTFO.

 

[jayeola]

Blowjob with an upgrade. Now THAT's an idea

 

[elbows]

The blowjob bar does not have quite the same ring to it.

 

[jayeola]

Genius blowjobs!