What should I write a story about?

[kabbes]

I just realised that I made a pun about a rhino's horn by saying "point". Man, that's clever.

 

[Pickman's model]

I would send you one of my own short stories but each and every one of them has a reference to cry wanking with a flacid dick that might give it away as not being your own work. I don't know why I keep putting those bits in there but I'm definitely not going to stop.

autobiographical?

 

[Pickman's model]

I just realised that I made a pun about a rhino's horn by saying "point". Man, that's clever.

it would have been if you'd thought of it first.

 

[kabbes]

it would have been if you'd thought of it first.

That's how clever I am, though. My brain is WAY ahead of me.

 

[Sadken]

Part of the rich and classic vein of the great English flacid dick cry wanking genre

 

[machine cat]

I would send you one of my own short stories but each and every one of them has a reference to cry wanking with a flacid dick that might give it away as not being your own work. I don't know why I keep putting those bits in there but I'm definitely not going to stop.

'cranking' i believe it's called

 

[Sadken]

'cranking' i believe it's called

Oh, I'm down with cranking but I don't know if it's caught on in Cornwall. They're five years behind everyone else and are still doing myspace blogs.

 

[Pickman's model]

you should do your story about smugglers bringing brandy into the country who awake a great monster - half-octopus, half-dragon - perhaps a pulpy, tentacled head surmounting a grotesque and scaly body with rudimentary wings.

 

[marty21]

Jesus visits Boscastle lol

 

[kabbes]

Misinterpret the title and write about "Cornish tails" -- those vestigal tails that all Cornish people have.

 

[marty21]

Misinterpret the title and write about "Cornish tails" -- those vestigal tails that all Cornish people have.

Cornish monkey tennis

 

[Sadken]

Youth hostelling with Rick Stein

 

[machine cat]

Oh, I'm down with cranking but I don't know if it's caught on in Cornwall. They're five years behind everyone else and are still doing myspace blogs.

well this could be the oportunity to enlighten them!

 

[Pickman's model]

dracula meets cthulhu down the cornish coast

 

[Sadken]

Ok, Madz, if you want to use the flacid dick thing, it's yours

 

[Pickman's model]

a story about the pasty cornish and their aversion to the sun

 

[Pickman's model]

Ok, Madz, if you want to use the flacid dick thing, it's yours

i think you should start a thread in knobbing and sobbing about your unfortunate affliction.

 

[kabbes]

Death-surf 2000.

 

[Sadken]

What a man chooses to do in the privacy of his own attic is his own business

 

[marty21]

Lord Lucan falls in love with Olivia Newton John and open a tailors/laundrette/tea shop in Boscastle

 

[Pickman's model]

What a man chooses to do in the privacy of his own attic is his own business

said lord rumbold as he buttoned his flies.

over to you, sadken, for the next sentence.

 

[ericjarvis]

Corrupt WI branches are involved in illegal smuggling of scones, and clandestine jam running. The courageous woman police sergeant tracks the perpetrators to their hidden lair in an abandoned pastie mine. There is a confrontation, and the regional chair of the Cornish WI is eventually incapacitated by a serious strawberry ice cream stain on her blouse. The miscreants are taken into custody and told off very severely by a magistrate.

 

[kabbes]

A new housing development of second homes is the site of a series of brutal killings, apparently performed by the best of Bodmin Moor...

 

[kabbes]

This is all good shit and I demand to know if Madz is going to use any of it and what royalties we can all expect.

 

[Sadken]

Indiana Jones and the Boscastle of Loads of Bad Stuff

 

[Hocus Eye.]

A new housing development of second homes is the site of a series of brutal killings, apparently performed by the best of Bodmin Moor...

I am glad the killings were done by the best of Bodmin Moor. Nothing but the best is good enough.

The Beast of Bodmin Moor on the other hand would be a bit of a cop out. Blaming some escaped zoo animal for murder is cheating. He - or is it a she, has cousins all over the British Isles, there is even one in Hertfordshire, so nothing exclusively Cornish in The Beast.

 

[kabbes]

Yes, but in the manner of Hound of the Baskevilles, there would turn out to be no such beast.

 

[Sadken]

"Made it, Ma, top of the moor!"

 

[Santino]

A violent feud starts up around whether to put jam or cream first on your scone.

 

[marty21]

Bude...the horror

if i have one more cream tea