Welcome to my bakers, what dya want?

[northernhord]

*trips over yardbrush*
*sues*

No, dont sue me please, you can have butter pies and crusty cheesey pasties for life, free of charge

 

[Herbsman.]

I did not hear you say 'please'

RAASSS

BAD MAN NUH SAY "please"

 

[_pH_]

Ok, you can a bag of cakes for free if you keep quiet

What sort of cakes

 

[northernhord]

What sort of cakes

Elephants foot cream cake, two french strawberry tarts and a big fuck off chocate slab

 

[cyberfairy]

No, dont sue me please, you can have butter pies and crusty cheesey pasties for life, free of charge

*dies happy and fat of massive heart attack in hour*

 

[cyberfairy]

RAASSS

BAD MAN NUH SAY "please"

That's better Now stop shuffling your feet

 

[_pH_]

Elephants foot cream cake, two french strawberry tarts and a big fuck off chocate slab

Hmmmmmmm...........I'll think about it.

OK then

 

[northernhord]

Hmmmmmmm...........I'll think about it.

OK then

Phew
*passes over cake box and two bulging white paper bags*

 

[kalidarkone]

The service is shit! I've been waiting 20 mins sod ya I'm off to mountstevens huh!

 

[northernhord]

The service is shit! I've been waiting 20 mins sod ya I'm off to mountstevens huh!

Come back, Ive still got a few things left

 

[moomoo]

*Whispers to moomoo*

You can pay me on Thursday if your'e a bit strapped

Thank you Sir.


*Writes an IOU and signs it from _pH_ *

 

[kalidarkone]

Do you have a warm sundried tomato spelt loaf?

 

[_pH_]

Thank you Sir.


*Writes an IOU and signs it from _pH_ *

Oi! Right just for that, you're not having any of my Elephants foot cream cake, two french strawberry tarts and a big fuck off chocolate slab

 

[_pH_]

The service is shit! I've been waiting 20 mins sod ya I'm off to mountstevens huh!

*sets up rival bakery selling elephants foot cream cake, two french strawberry tarts and a big fuck off chocolate slab*

Can I help you madam?

 

[kalidarkone]

*leaves*

 

[kalidarkone]

*sets up rival bakery selling elephants foot cream cake, two french strawberry tarts and a big fuck off chocolate slab*

Can I help you madam?

Ooh yes thanks I'm having trouble getting a warm sundried tomato spelt loaf, ave you got one?

 

[_pH_]

Oh, I'm very sorry madam, we have no warm sundried tomato spelt loaf left. Would you care for elephants foot cream cake, two french strawberry tarts and a big fuck off chocolate slab instead?

 

[northernhord]

^ Oi, sling yer bloody hook

 

[_pH_]

*starts mafia style bakery turf war*

*puts My Little Pony's head in northernhord's bed*

 

[northernhord]

*pushes bag of live locusts through _ph_ bread Emporiums front door then rings environmental health*

 

[moomoo]

*starts mafia style bakery turf war*

*puts My Little Pony's head in northernhord's bed*

I hope you attached the money for my Bakewell Tart to the pony's head.

 

[_pH_]

I hope you attached the money for my Bakewell Tart to the pony's head.

Yes, but I need to go back for the change......



D'oh!

 

[_pH_]

*pushes bag of live locusts through _ph_ bread Emporiums front door then rings environmental health*

*uses locusts to create delicious new pasty filling*

 

[kalidarkone]

Oh, I'm very sorry madam, we have no warm sundried tomato spelt loaf left. Would you care for elephants foot cream cake, two french strawberry tarts and a big fuck off chocolate slab instead?

NO

 

[_pH_]

NO

Oh. OK then

 

[subversplat]

Do you do a vegan sausage roll? If so I'll have five of those, a poppy seed dusted bloomer and a focaccia, ta

 

[_pH_]

Locust pasty instead, madam?

 

[kalidarkone]

Actually you cunts I'm gonna make a warm sundried tomato spelt loaf, you have inspired me now....

 

[_pH_]

Do you do a vegan sausage roll? If so I'll have five of those, a poppy seed dusted bloomer and a focaccia, ta

*shoves northernhord aside*

Yes, we have vegan locust sausage rolls! The locusts only EVER ate grass!

 

[_pH_]

Actually you cunts I'm gonna make a warm sundried tomato spelt loaf, you have inspired me now....

Will it have locusts in?