Wedding etiquette - can I wear white lace?

[electrogirl]

I don't like this continual sniping about a bride being bothered about female guests wearing white lace dresses as being 'weird'.

Why don't you all just fuck the fuck off and grow up?

Calm down. I'm not sniping. I didn't say anything specifically about the bride. I do think being bothered by a guest in a white dress is a bit weird.

 

[Cloo]

The bride is lovely, but yeah, her mum is completely loopy

Well, you may have to face the possibility of the mother muttering darkly about you.

I'm sorry, Madz, but I do find it precious of a bride to have an issue about female guests in white... 'it's their day' has its limits! As long as the guest is not likely to be mistaken for the bride (which they're not going to be unless they're wearing something full length and ultra-formal, which is unlikely), I don't see why the bride should have an issue with it.

 

[madzone]

Weird is relative - if you're not used to it you can be forgiven for thinking it's weird. No offence intended.

Plenty taken

It's about manners and respect. It's the bride and grooms day, not yours. A day that is likely to have cost them many thousands of pounds and they've been gracious enough to invite you (one) Is it really so much effort or so strange to ensure you wear something that doesn't upstage the bride?

IMO that white lace dress looks like something someone would get married in. Granted, it's not a long one or a 'meringuey' one but not everyone wears that style these days. It may also be that this particular bride doesn't give a shit but is it worth the risk? If I saw someone wearing that dress at a wedding I'd think they were playing 'Look at me'.

 

[Detroit City]

It's not the bride and groom, it's their parents.

i see...in that case just put big bandages over your tats and say you fell down the stairs

 

[madzone]

Well, you may have to face the possibility of the mother muttering darkly about you.

I'm sorry, Madz, but I do find it precious of a bride to have an issue about female guests in white... 'it's their day' has its limits! As long as the guest is not likely to be mistaken for the bride (which they're not going to be unless they're wearing something full length and ultra-formal, which is unlikely), I don't see why the bride should have an issue with it.

I'm fucking glad you weren't at my wedding then

 

[zenie]

I do agree with Madzone tbh. I think the dress is lovely but it's not appropriate for a traditional wedding

 

[Detroit City]

something like this but without the hospital bed and cards

 

[electrogirl]

I seriously think that in theory, it seems innapropriate, but on the day, noone is really in their right mind going to think that someone in a white dress was trying to upstage the bride.

And the white dress won't look upstagey in amongst everyone. It'll just look nice.

 

[zenie]

I seriously think that in theory, it seems innapropriate, but on the day, noone is really in their right mind going to think that someone in a white dress was trying to upstage the bride.

And the white dress won't look upstagey in amongst everyone. It'll just look nice.

Except maybe the bride

 

[Paulie Tandoori]

But you don't understand, madzone will kill anyone wearing a white dress at a wedding if they are not the bride. It's serious business and not to be messed with.

*stern face*

 

[Detroit City]

And the white dress won't look upstagey in amongst everyone. It'll just look nice.

only the bride gets to wear white

 

[electrogirl]

Except maybe the bride

really? will the bride really have even a moment on one of the happiest and busiest days of their life to look at someone who's dress is only similar in the fact that is the same colour, and feel usptaged?

really?

I'm not telling you how to feel Madz, I just think that's mental.

 

[Pip]

Soo... would the same dress in pale yellow or something be appropriate?

 

[Detroit City]

Soo... would the same dress in pale yellow or something be appropriate?

yes

 

[Pip]

yes

Even though it's lacy?

 

[Detroit City]

Even though it's lacy?

i don't know about that, you have to ask teh girls

 

[Pip]

BTW it's not like that net curtain lace, it's that sort of thickish crochety lace if that makes any difference

 

[Pip]

What if I got the express permission of the bride? Would it still be unreasonable?

 

[beeboo]

Just in case the bride, or relatives or anyone else in the vicinity of the wedding have a remotely similar attitude to Madz, I'd say best to wear something else

 

[electrogirl]

What if I got the express permission of the bride? Would it still be unreasonable?

I think out of everyone's, that's the opinion I would most care about, yeah.

 

[cesare]

Soo... would the same dress in pale yellow or something be appropriate?

You could dye it? Aquamarine would look good.

 

[foo]

What if I got the express permission of the bride? Would it still be unreasonable?

i think that'd totally sort it.

 

[Pip]

You could dye it? Aquamarine would look good.

Nah I like the dress too much, and because it's old it might dye patchy.

 

[Fedayn]

Turn up in the full head to toe burqa, that'd be conservative enough for the parents. Wearing black lace La Senza frillies underneath to be quietly daring.

 

[moomoo]

What if I got the express permission of the bride? Would it still be unreasonable?

Perfect solution.

It's a beautiful dress btw.

 

[_angel_]

I can't imagine why anyone would care. If I was the bride I wouldn't care.

Being younger and prettier than me might piss me off though!

 

[Melinda]

What if I got the express permission of the bride? Would it still be unreasonable?

She'd be obliged to say dont be silly wear what you want!


Pip, wear what you feel happiest in. Your dress sounds lovely.
You can almost guarantee there'll be other people there in cream.

 

[kabbes]

Personally, I think that any married women at the wedding should wear their own wedding dress to it. It's called a "wedding dress", ffs, so wear it to weddings.

 

[Melinda]

But can they bring their children Kabbes?

 

[Pip]

I can't imagine why anyone would care. If I was the bride I wouldn't care.

Being younger and prettier than me might piss me off though!

Well, in principle I'm with you - I was always under the impression that a wedding was a celebration of love, not an Austenesque forum for your conduct to be scrutinised and where any deviation from obsolete, unwritten rules will be gasped and sneered at - but while people still hold those views I want to err on the side of caution and play it safe.