War On Knives on Sky One

[Cid]

Scattered my mate's ashes (somewhat illegally) this weekend... Wore red shirts with his picture but that's about it. This kind of coverage is incredibly patronising and probably completely ineffective. It's also extremely exploitative, it would seem like such an easy solution for anyone affected to get up on TV and talk about it... There's a desperate desire to do something. I feel sorry for Kinsella, very much in the spotlight, probably a lot of pressure on her which will keep pushing her grief. If you don't have a very rational mind and a lot of (ugh, horrible phrase) inner strength it would be very easy to be swept up by the media.

I think there are ways of combating knife crime, but having June fucking Sarpong being a patronising fuckwit is clearly not one of them.

 

[Cid]

The survey is good
<snip>

"Thank you for participating in our debate"

Bloody hell...

 

[snackhead]

Oh shit, even Scotland's not safe, Ted Maul's off to A&E......

 

[Augie March]

Scattered my mate's ashes (somewhat illegally) this weekend... Wore red shirts with his picture but that's about it. This kind of coverage is incredibly patronising and probably completely ineffective. It's also extremely exploitative, it would seem like such an easy solution for anyone affected to get up on TV and talk about it... There's a desperate desire to do something. I feel sorry for Kinsella, very much in the spotlight, probably a lot of pressure on her which will keep pushing her grief. If you don't have a very rational mind and a lot of (ugh, horrible phrase) inner strength it would be very easy to be swept up by the media.

I think there are ways of combating knife crime, but having June fucking Sarpong being a patronising fuckwit is clearly not one of them.

Spot on Cid, sorry to hear about your mate.

The complete stupidity and patronising nature that is running through the heart of his programme, is actually hard to believe.

 

[snackhead]

I would have warmed to this if they'd gone all badger watch on the format and put Donal and June in the middle of a park with a couple of remote operated infared cameras

 

[Augie March]

Fuckers are using Burial on the soundtrack now.

 

[Cid]

I am so glad I don't have sky one.

 

[Augie March]

Woman: "I had to make a choice to whether I live, or die...

June: "And you chose to live."

No, June. She didn't. You're actually just talking to a ghost.

 

[snackhead]

Guest "I had to make a choice of either live or die"

June "and you chose live"

Genius.

 

[Augie March]

Snap.

 

[snackhead]

Fuck me there's more

The week-long event will launch with a live show on Tue 14 Oct, 9pm and close with a second live special on Tue 21 Oct, 9pm, during which Donal and June will follow the stories of concerned communities, local police forces and initiatives that seek to find a solution.

 

[snackhead]

Snap.

 

[Augie March]

Well that was by far one of the most untentionally funny, fuck-witted programmes I've seen all year.

I'm tuning in next week. They've got a live audience and they're revealing the results of the extensive survey!

 

[snackhead]

Well that was by far one of the most untentionally funny, fuck-witted programme I've seen all year.

I'm tuning in next week. They've got a live audience and they're revealing the results of the extensive survey!

I'm guessing it'll be something along the lines of "it's not right and it needs to stop. Now."

 

[snackhead]

Oh Lordy, second live special starts in an hour. Had a hellish week - don't know if I've got the strength to face it tonight

 

[FridgeMagnet]

Oh go on. Imitate the action of a tiger.

 

[snackhead]

Oh go on. Imitate the action of a tiger.

Well I could do with a good laugh......

 

[Augie March]

92% of people who watch a senstationlist tabloid show about knife crime and take part in their survey, think that knife crime is out of control!

Shocking results!

 

[Augie March]

Richard Blackwood is on the show tonight!

 

[snackhead]

Did you see the camera scan the "specially invited" audience? Mica Paris, Jade Goody's ex and Richard Blackwood.

 

[Augie March]

Jeff Brazier? Fucks sake.

It's interesting how the show quickly ditches the extensive survey results, when it doesn't fit in with it's ludicrous hysterical polemic.

"17% think the parents aren't to blame... but now here's four celebrity parents who think it is!"

 

[Augie March]

Impression of June Sarpong conducting an interview:

"Mmm... yeah... mmm..."

*nod intently

"Mmm... absolutely... mmm... yeah"

*nod a bit more then repeat the last word the interviewee has just said

"Mmm... gangs... yeah..."

 

[snackhead]

Sorry Augie I'm out, can't do it anymore. Switched over to the far superior scripting of Brit Cops Frontline Crime UK on Bravo.

 

[purves grundy]

so how's the war going anyway? who's winning the battle etc

 

[Augie March]

I think we're losing.

 

[purves grundy]

Shit

SOMEONE SHOULD DO SOMETHING!

 

[Augie March]

Commander Sarpong is throwing urgent questions in Jacqui Smith's face... RIGHT NOW!

 

[Augie March]

Donal: "Now, we can't really ban bread or steak, can we?"

I've just to rewind this several times on Sky +, because I thought I was hearing things. Yes, he did say it.

 

[Augie March]

That's it. The war is over. I'm not sure, but I think we won!

Hooray!

 

[FridgeMagnet]

Donal: "Now, we can't really ban bread or steak, can we?"

I've just to rewind this several times on Sky +, because I thought I was hearing things. Yes, he did say it.

And why not? Liberal PC do-gooder. WAR ON STEAK.





oh god please shoot me I cannot accept that this is actually happening