Viz, the monthly review

I'm from the same neck of the woods as them off the viz, and I think I might know the actual teacher they had in mind for the 'art teacher who can't fucking draw'.
That was probably me

love Viz - must start getting it again. We used to make up Viz characters - my favourite was 'Anthony Sinister- the Undead Prime Minister' (obviously this was some years ago).

 

Top Tip:

CONVINCE swimming pool attendants that you are having an "accident" by stuffing your trunks full of teabags

I sent that in years ago and I don't think they ever published it the gits

 

I would love it if people could come up with some more characters.

I had been planning a zine about philosophers in a Viz stylee but gave it up when I discovered Existential comics.com.

 

Fat Slags is shit imo yet its in every issue it seems. Major Misunderstanding is great though. And the spoof holiday adverts.

 

Roger Mellie's cynicism and ruthlessness has always been good value.

 

I have the collected volumes 1-12 here, there's some unknown gems. I'll post a few for your pleasure.

 

i started with about issue 3 from a shitty record shop in Newcastle. By the time I left uni, i had converted about 50 people to Viz.

not as funny as it used to be though

 

Billy Britain ?

 

simon lotion time and motion man

 

It once had "THE MAGAZINE THAT MAKES YOUR PISS SMELL LIKE SUGAR PUFFS" above the logo on the front cover.

 

here's one that'll find some resonance here

 

thats a thing
https://www.google.co.uk/search?cli...TF-8#q=why+does+my+urine+smell+of+sugar+puffs

 

Yeah, that's why it made me laugh so much when I saw it, because nobody had ever mentioned it before but I'd noticed it too with my own ablutions.

 

if you find a simon lotion time and motion man id love a scan...theres none online...he deserves a little place on the internet....

 

nope, but I thought you might like this one

 

The council slogans are the best. "Helping pupils maximise achievement of their individual potentialities"

 

Everyone's posting Viz stuff but nothing from the other magazine mentioned in the thread title, so here's something from the Monthly Review:

Guaranteed a chucklesome mention of contradictions at least three times any given issue.

 

The first part has become a bit of a well-worn joke now, but it was Viz who invented it.


So when I saw it cracked me up just for its daftness....








.....but when I turned the page and found this, I really pissed myself

 

Back in the day we had a mate who looked the absolute spit of Felix with the amazing underpants . So he got the nickname felix . Met him for a drink at Christmas for the first time in about 2 decades ...and spent the whole feckin night desperately trying NOT to call him Felix. Under any circumstances . The name just stuck there in my mind the entire evening .
He's a sound lad but he'd have probably fisted me one if I came out with it .

 

The classic William Shatner "Captain's Log" one seems to have been scoured from the internet

 

I've tried to find my favourite letterbocks from recent years but to no avail, the gist of it was saying it was unfair how Neil Armstrong got all the credit for the moonwalk when Michael Jackson actually did it first.

Pretty sure it ended with the line "he might've been a nonce bastard, but he wasn't half light on his feet".

 

"Harold Shipman is often described as Britain's worst serial killer. Surely, with more than 100 kills to his name he should be considered the best."

"When oh when will Liverpool Football Club stop referring to their ground as "Anfield" when everybody knows the correct grammar is "A field".

 

Paedophiles .

Confuse police during questioning by making suggestive remarks about old ladies .

 

F'narr f'narr.

 

Boil an egg to perfection without costly egg timers by popping it into boiling water and driving away from your home at exactly 60mph. After three miles, phone your wife to take the egg out the pan.

We'll be here a long time if we're going to do all the funny letters and tips. Never failed to have me crying with laughter when I used to buy it regularly.

 

Would it be inappropriate here to recall the, not entirely unrelated "Framley Examiner"? Their classifieds also contained some gems...