Transformers 2 trailer

[8den]

my parents gave all mine away

i truly cannot understand how you couldn't think the first movie was the most awesome thing ever (it was BTW), robots fucking shit up, optimus prime, megan fox...ummmm???

I gave a complete list.

The action sequences were so overcut, and unwatchable, I was willing myself to develop epilepsy so I could have a fit, and get carried out of the movie. Watching a transformer engage in some kind of watersports sex act with John Tuttoro? Fuck off. I willed Jon Voight's character to die as quickly as possible so he could get of the fucking set, deposit the check into his grandchildren's trust fund and retire with quiet dignity and mourn the shattered remains of his career. And Shia LeBouf. What. The. Fuck. Did he sell his soul to satan? Thats the only logical explanation as to why this ugly, gormless, black hole of talent, piece of shit has a career. AND THE END? What on earth? You do realise that LaBouf is dry humping Megan Fox, ON TOP OF HIS SENTIENT ROBOT CAR! WHILE OTHER ROBOT CARS AND TRUCKS WATCH! The last scene of that movie is nothing short of interspecies cyber dogging!

I will add to that, that fucking retarded interminable interlude where LaBouf's dad thinks he's having a wank in his bedroom, and we have this absurd 10 minute interlude playing "hide the transformers". What did Bay take a long weekend and let the morons that made American Pie take the reigns for two days?

I'll also add "comedy fat black guy" who lives with his mum, the product placement from everyone from nokia to the US army (Oh you think the Army is under resourced in Afghanistan? Yeah thats because they lent most of it to Michael Bay to make an extended recruitment video). The fact that at the start of the movie LaBouf* is selling his explorer Grandfather's priceless family heirlooms so he can buy a fucking car! Wow theres a way to make me empthaise with the inconsiderate little shit. Also what fucking moron thought that I'd want to watch La Bouf and his Dad, La Bouf trying to get the girl. A team of hackers trying to stop some virus thingy on airforce one? A team of US soldiers, so fucking interchangeable cookie cutter, I've decided that their leader was played by the baddie from Die Hard 4, because I can't remember his face.

IT'S A TRANSFORMERS MOVIE. I PAID TO WATCH GIANT ROBOTS FUCK EACH OTHER UP. NOT TO WATCH A BUNCH OF ASSFUCKS WANDER AROUND TILL THE LAST ACT, AND WHEN I FINALLY GET BADASS ROBOTS FUCK EACH OTHER UP, ITS CUT TOGETHER SO BADLY THAT I CANNOT WORK OUT WHO'S KICKING WHO'S ASS!



* I will admit that I am transfering a moderate amount of Crystal Skull hate onto the boy, but frankly, my Crystal Skull rant makes my Transformers rant look tame.