Discussion in 'education & employment' started by stuff_it, Mar 30, 2016.
Me, that is.
Can't even get freelance work.
have a sympathy 'like'
Too well qualified for low end work, not enough of the right sort of experience for anything else.
Now my car is off the road and I've only got a ten day grace period on my phone bill before that also goes.
What I really want to be doing is finishing any of my studies, or writing up one or three of my amazing business plans. Sadly I'm not even fit to stack shelves, having just escaped an abusive relationship and recovered from serious stress related health problems.
All anyone seems to care about is that I'm now overweight at a size 14-16 instead of my previous 10-12.
Anything I do to improve my employability just serves to frighten off another tranche of possible employers.
Also: weird polymath, cheap. Prefer West Midlands or home based.
sympathy from me, as well !
can't help, unfortunately.
I'm sorry for you, but I can't think of anything.
Would it be worthwhile signing up to one of those freelance websites ? I can't recall the name of it but there is one whereby you can buy someone's programming time and skills by the hour fr'instance ?
Find Jobs and Hire skilled Freelancers, at a click - PeoplePerHour.com
there's a few of these websites but that's the one I know
AND coding's really excellent fucking fun
Oh thank you, that was the very one I was thinking of.
I'm signed up to them all, and while away many hours fruitlessly trying to get any manner of work from them.
Clearly I'm totally inept.
RE the over qualified for some jobs situation - do you have another cv geared towards those kinda jobs omitting anything that might over qualify you?
I doubt many people make proper money off those sites, I had a look at them and decided it wasn't worth it for filming / editing stuff, the offered payments were way too low to do more than pick up a few bits here and there.
Can you lie for jobs you are overqualified for?
Lie and say I've been unemployed since 2010?
There's a difference between proper money and none whatsoever. I make none at all. Fucking zero. Not one penny.
Wot's yer skillset?
Yes of course
do you know anybody who could write you a fake /semi fake reference ?I had a boss for an organisation I volunteered for who said I worked the dates I said on my job application (I hadn't) and that I was paid (I wasn't). . .
Reckon you could be a bit more creative in describing your previous work?
Don't know how fucked up your CRB is, but are social care jobs an option for now.
Say you've been self-employed, something you know about but that isn't connected with the job you're applying for. If you were living in a different town to where you're living now, that's even better as it'll be even harder for anyone to check what you were doing (previous addresses are pretty easy to check) or if you happen to be in interview with someone who is into whatever you've chosen that might know that you're not part of things in that town. As long as you're not going to get tripped up by facebook, linkedin or something like that and you can maintain a bare faced lie in interview, it's not likely you'll get caught out imo.
edit: you need reasons why you no longer want to be self-employed, for me it was being shit at sales, but wanting a regular income is another useable one if being shit at sales would be bad for the role you're applying for.
SEO copywriter, digital content writer, wordpress website builder (boss sites but can't hand code a page of hamlet from a picture so I won't get any website building jobs), installing the following os: Windows - all from '95 to 10, Linux - Ubuntu & Fedora mainly, Android 4 onwards (All inclusive root and stock), 15+ years of office administration and customer service, nearly got my class 2/cat C LGV licence (now have funding opportunity but will have to hitchhike to Somerset and live in the bushes to do it more than likely), online communities, event planning and promotions, ecommerce (have built a self-hosted eticketing solution into a woo commerce and wordpress based site with full Facebook events and online calendar integration (again my very minor coding skills preclude work in this area), tea making expert, reasonable cook, business planning for other people, plus several good start up ideas I won't ever have time to write up, and a few 'rinse and run' patentable ideas to make up for the fact that I'm pushing 40 with no family or savings.
On phone, sorry about layout.
I have references up the wazoo - but since regardless of tactic I never get to the 'taking up references' stage it matters little.
I have been self employed - this seems to be a big part of the problem.
I don't need to lie about what I know about, more find some way to tone it down to make me acceptable to an employer.
And skillset wise missed out BSci Open Degree in engineering and computer science, and NCTJ Diploma in Journalism - both unfinished as I spend all my time failing to find work, and skip diving to survive.
This stuck out as potentially worthwhile - I know a number of self employed people and small businesses who could do with a business plan but no idea at all how to write one - have you tried pimping yourself out as doing this ?
Some employers don't like it, concerns about working in teams and doing what you're told. Other employers do like it, self-motivated, plenty of initiative... cuts both ways I think. Better than being unemployed though if you want to remove a qualification or two and cover that up with something.
Nothing major but can't do agency social care - though weirdly I can get X site clearance.
Separate names with a comma.