Things you have not heard this season.

[corporate whore]

This extended European run has been a real boost for Everton Football Club

 

[corporate whore]

BBC? I'd be delighted to talk. - Alex Ferguson

 

[Rollem]

"and the award for fairness and transparency in the boardroom goes to QPR..."

 

[corporate whore]

"And here's Michael Owen.."

 

[Rollem]

"and the elms league fairplay award goes to urban75..."

 

[huxley71]

Maradona: "All it took was a fortnight on the Atkins..."

 

[huxley71]

"Coca-cola announced today that, from next season, the 'Football League Division One' will be renamed 'The Titleship".

 

[huxley71]

Following the end of Manchester United's shirt sponsorship deal with Vodafone, the club announced today that they have agreed a six figure deal with Snack Box ltd - "the poor man's Pot Noodle" ™

 

[Streathamite]

"aston villa have been the real revelation of the season!"

 

[andy2002]

"And United fans have en masse started chanting 'One Malcolm Glazer, there's only one Malcolm Glazer'"

"Graeme Le Saux's a brilliant, incisive pundit with a real knowledge and appreciation of the game's finer points."

"Martin O'Neill? Nah, let's get Kevin Keegan back as England boss."

"That Simon Jordan's always sitting on the fence – he never says what he thinks."

"That Didier Drogba's worth £24million of anyone's money."

 

[Diamond]

"And Gary Neville walks off to a standing ovation from the Kop..."

 

[Rollem]

"the neutrals will be cheering chelsea"

 

[g force]

"Nice to see the Zaragoza fans applauding the black players..."

"Demitry Pieterman, truly the saviour of Alaves, and to top it all a really nice bloke..."

"Barcelona deserve the title" - AS, Marca etc

"In a well-behaved Seville derby..."

 

[Bomber]

An interview by Stoke manager Johan Boskamp I could undertsand ...

 

[huxley71]

PFA Chief Executive Gordon Taylor: "Of course £50,000 per week is an extortionate amount of money to be paid to kick a lump of leather around every Saturday. And the very least we should expect of our players is that they remember to piss in a test-tube once every six months, so that we can check they're not whacked up on goof-balls during the rest of the week."

 

[huxley71]

Sven Goran Eriksson's world cup preparations were thrown into turmoil today, when Andrew Cole announced to a packed press conference that he was rescinding his decision to retire from international football for years ago (when he failed to make the 2002 world cup squad).

 

[huxley71]

British sports fans were seen dancing in the streets today after Eurosport secured a deal with the Norwegian Olympic Committee, which will ensure that the remaining 12% of its time which isn't currently dedicated to broadcasting people skiing with rifles on their backs, will now also be dedicated to people skiing with rifles on their fucking backs.

 

[bendeus]

Lee Trundle :

"I knew exactly what was on that flag, and I'm a thick scouse twunt who should keep his spud nose out of long-running feuds that I barely understand. Sorry, Cardiff"

 

[kakuma]

'cisse is a natural striker'

'shearer looks as fresh as ever'

 

[g force]

"Jean Alain Boumsong...a true colossus amongst defenders"

 

[mrkikiet]

if they had some decent forwards barcelona would be a great side.

 

[stavros]

"Eriksson has had the realisation that perhaps Beckham isn't the man to lead England."

 

[i_hate_beckham]

"Does anyone have a name harder to to take the mick out of on the terraces than Paul Dickov"

 

[Ich bin ein Mod]

"it's been a bit boring at hearts this season"

 

[brixtonvilla]

"I take full responsibilty for the tactically poor, technically inept and spiritless football played by Aston Villa Football Club this season."

David O'Leary.

 

[Genghis Cohen]

"Riley waves away chelsea's penalty appeal."

"drogba showed good strength to stay on his feet there."

 

[huxley71]

Garth Crooks: "Does you think football is ace or what?"

 

[Streathamite]

"The FA have handled the wembley project so brilliantly that it was ready for the FA Cup final by christmas"

 

[Relahni]

"John Terry has handled the ball in the penalty area - the ref points to the spot".

 

[stavros]

"It does cost about 10 times too much to go and see a top flight game today."