The Urban Writing Thread

Discussion in 'books, films, TV, radio & writing' started by ShiftyBagLady, Jun 24, 2009.

?

Are you in?

  1. Yes Shifty I'm positively brimming with creativity

    62.1%
  2. No Shifty I have enough to pretend to be doing

    18.2%
  3. Wotz ritin?

    18.2%
  4. ShiftyBagLady gives good poll

    21.2%
Multiple votes are allowed.
  1. stereoisomer

    stereoisomer tits and quiche

    It is obviously fictional isn't it. I showed it to a couple of my friends and one of them said 'ooh you've got to be careful what you say about rape'.. but she couldn't really explain what she meant. People aren't going to think that Jessica's views are my views are they?

    eta: I made it public on my blog but I haven't shared it on facebook because I'm still nervous.

    eta again: I'm glad I put in the note about it being totally fictional because I showed it to another facebook friend and he assumed that it was semi-autobiographical and that 'Betty' was me!
     
    Last edited: Oct 3, 2014
    frogwoman likes this.
  2. frogwoman

    frogwoman лягушкая женщина

    Here's a bit from my forthcoming chapter of 2448, my Jewish/Palestinian space story:

    'Shmuley's mother is very overprotective,' Shlomo says to Ghada.

    'Shut up, Peretz. Everyone's mother is overprotective on Shtetlon. What about the time yours walked into the factory and gave old Feinschmeyer an earful because you used up your holiday?'

    'Shmuley! You promised you wouldn't mention that!'

    'Come on, Shlomo. Give it over.'

    He hands me my phone. Baruch Hashem, the schlemiel didn't get a chance to go through my mother's texts and read them out. I have thirty missed calls, all from her. As I feel my phone in my hands it starts to vibrate again.
    'Hello?'
    'Shmuley!' my mother yells. 'Where are you? Are you coming home for Shabbat? Why don't you call? Why don't you let me know where you are? I'm only your mother! It's not as if I would worry about you!'
    'No, Mother,' I say. 'It's kind of complicated. You see...'
    There are bleeps and strange sounds in the background.
    'What, Shmuley? Chaya Schmidt is coming over for Shabbat. She's a nice girl, Shmuley. From a good family, Shmuley. A rabbi's daughter! I think you two would get on well, it's about time you thought about marriage, Shmuley. All my friends say, oh, your son, such a nice boy, why's he working in the factory, why doesn't he find himself a wife already? So handsome, that's what they say!'
    The phone is on speaker. Mendel and Shlomo are trying not to laugh.
    'I can't come for Shabbat,' I say. 'I'm in space.'
    'Space? What's in space that you can't at least give your mother a call? I've been making myself sick from worry. Oy vey. You won't believe how much time I have been cooking, Shmuley. I've been slaving away in the kitchen and now you tell me you're not coming.'
    'Look I'm sorry,' I say. 'I'm kind of on a spacecraft.'
    'Freidy Sugarman told me she saw you drunk last night. You don't come home, you don't call...'
    'I've been abducted by aliens!' I yell. Mendel and Shlomo think this is hilarious. How I hate them. 'I would come for Shabbat, but these aliens abducted me and took me up in their spaceship...'
    'Oh, that's fine. That's just fine, Shmuley. Don't worry about me. If you want to be in space, that's fine. Don't let me stop you having fun without me.' In the background I hear the sound of sobbing.
     
    SpookyFrank and stereoisomer like this.
  3. stereoisomer

    stereoisomer tits and quiche

    I've updated my mediaeval/time travel story, added a bit more and changed the date to make it a bit more historically accurate. http://wp.me/p4WYXj-1F
    frogwoman that excerpt is hilarious, the whole 'Jewish mother' thing is OTT but that's the point isn't it?
     
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  4. frogwoman

    frogwoman лягушкая женщина

    yeah that's the point, I'm trying to play on all these Jewish stereotypes :D
     
  5. frogwoman

    frogwoman лягушкая женщина

    stereoisomer likes this.
  6. stereoisomer

    stereoisomer tits and quiche

    I am... a machine malfunctioned last night meaning I have absolutely no lab work to do today, so I'm reading 'Damaged' :) It's really good so far, I'm gripped!
     
    frogwoman likes this.
  7. frogwoman

    frogwoman лягушкая женщина

    ah cheers! :D I'd be really interested in your feedback :):)
     
  8. stereoisomer

    stereoisomer tits and quiche

    Well so far, it's kind of spookily similar to the sort of thing I used to spend a lot of time thinking about when I was younger- I used to have this complex fantasy world where I was a guerilla fighting against fascists in a dystopian future Britain! I never wrote any of it down though. It's really fun to read! I don't spend so much time thinking about this stuff any more - perhaps it feels less likely than it used to. What's your feeling on the likelihood of this scenario coming to pass?
     
    frogwoman likes this.
  9. frogwoman

    frogwoman лягушкая женщина

    I wrote it about 6 years ago and I've edited it a lot. the version on the site is the much more polished 3rd or so draft :D

    I've got no idea how likely it is tbh. Hopefully not very :D
     
    stereoisomer likes this.
  10. SpookyFrank

    SpookyFrank Ridin' a Stutz Bearcat, Jim

    For a limited time only, here's an extract from the novel I'm working on. Fifty years after a virus wiped out almost all of mankind, two young people leave the makeshift compound in Cornwall where they've spent their entire lives with their only families and a handful of others. Doing the talking is Gretchen, one of my two narrators; the other being her Grandmother who lived through the fall of mankind and who Gretchen has left behind, possibly forever. Here Gretchen approaches Plymouth, the first city she has ever seen:

     
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  11. SpookyFrank

    SpookyFrank Ridin' a Stutz Bearcat, Jim

    ...

     
    Last edited: Oct 10, 2014
    frogwoman likes this.
  12. SpookyFrank

    SpookyFrank Ridin' a Stutz Bearcat, Jim

    ...

     
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  13. frogwoman

    frogwoman лягушкая женщина

    Looking forward to reading more. Why not join wattpad if you can be arsed with all the hoards of One Direction obsessed teenagers. SpookyFrank
     
  14. frogwoman

    frogwoman лягушкая женщина

    By the way, has anyone here ever tried to get anything published? Did it work? I finished Damaged many years ago but it's only this year that I've managed to get it into anything approaching a publishable state in my opinion and it's almost completely rewritten.

    I've got several other stories that people have told me should be published as well, such as 2448 and another one that isn't online any more.

    I don't have any idea how to go about it tbh but I know I should stop being such a wimp and go for it.
     
    stereoisomer likes this.
  15. Bakunin

    Bakunin I am Noodle's bitch.

    The Writer's and Artist's Yearbook is your friend.

    https://www.writersandartists.co.uk/
     
  16. frogwoman

    frogwoman лягушкая женщина

    their editorial services look good buy they're charging a shit load of money for it :eek:
     
  17. Bakunin

    Bakunin I am Noodle's bitch.

    Take a look at this as well:

    http://www.firstwriter.com/
     
  18. stereoisomer

    stereoisomer tits and quiche

    Another installment of Jessica's story http://wp.me/p4WYXj-26

    I think I might possibly be able to weave Dave's and Dany's stories together with Jessica's into some kind of larger thing, they're all set in the same universe I think. Maybe add some more characters. Hmmm.
    frogwoman now would be a good time to try to get 'Damaged' published, it seems really topical! I like how you've updated it to include references to UKIP and ISIS
     
    Last edited: Oct 18, 2014
    frogwoman likes this.
  19. frogwoman

    frogwoman лягушкая женщина

    Cheers.

    Did you finish it?

    I am doing some quite intensive editing of the beginning, nothing content wise but changing/combining chapters, deleting extraneous paras etc.
    The only thing that worries me is that while some people read it to the end a lot of people seem put off by how I have done the accents, although I have read lots of books by Irvine Welsh etc where this is done, but its starting to make me think I'm not that good!

    The other thing is that a few people said it was really slow in the beginning. What did you think?
     
  20. DotCommunist

    DotCommunist specter haunting

    are the complaints because of it being written in the vernacular, or that you have got the accent wrong? The former is someone elses problem. Not everyone likes vernacular voice *shrug*. But if people think you've captured it wrong...
     
  21. stereoisomer

    stereoisomer tits and quiche

    I didn't find it slow at the beginning at all.. I do find it a bit odd that it's only Lau that has an accent though.
     
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  22. frogwoman

    frogwoman лягушкая женщина

    Svetlana has one...i tried to distinguish the characters voices in other ways :)
     
  23. frogwoman

    frogwoman лягушкая женщина

    No, nothing to do with getting the accent wrong. Nobody has mentioned that as an issue!
     
  24. DotCommunist

    DotCommunist specter haunting


    ah right, then its a preference thing rather than an actual problem m8 :) not everyone likes or gets vernacular straight off- I struggled with Irvine Welsh till I listened to enough scots accents on tv and film and it clicked lol
     
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  25. stereoisomer

    stereoisomer tits and quiche

    Oh yes of course. I mean I thought it was odd that none of the other characters from Wattleton seemed to have an accent, why doesn't Talisha have one?
     
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  26. frogwoman

    frogwoman лягушкая женщина

    She grew up going to a posh school. You're right though I could make Sunita have an accent :)

    Have you finished it m8?
     
  27. stereoisomer

    stereoisomer tits and quiche

    No, haven't had time! will finish it next week hopefully...
     
    frogwoman likes this.
  28. stereoisomer

    stereoisomer tits and quiche

    Also Mark doesn't seem to have the same accent as Lou, which I thought was a bit odd too. Am enjoying it a lot though!
     
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  29. frogwoman

    frogwoman лягушкая женщина

    No he doesn't, I intended his accent to be less strong but I don't think i made it consistent throughout the book, that's something I will have to look at in my edits. Thank you for picking it up.
     
  30. DotCommunist

    DotCommunist specter haunting

    this is just what I've managed today and I know it needs proofing for spelling, grammar and tense etc but I'm waaay behind on what my daily wordcount should be lol

    there is more to it, but this is todays brainfart.

     
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