since when have you ever been serious? when you try to be serious you look all strained and confused for a few seconds, then that tell-tale dark patch appears around the groin zone of your trousers and you look all happy again. it's quite endearing really.
they were distasteful, sweetie. i've done you a favour! you don't need to pretend to like them when you have visitors any more. or rather visitors don't need to pretend to like them when they visit you. (not that they ever do obviously.) (but they might do.) (now that they know those... "things" aren't there any more to disturb them when they're trying to make polite conversation.)
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