The Official Worst Genre Ever! The Final Showdown.

[Dubversion]

this is going to take a minute, so can those thinking about posting "POLL! " or "where's the poll" kindly kill themselves.


to try and make the poll fair and coherent, some genres have been combined as neutrally as possible.

it won't be perfect, but hey - fuck you!

 

[perplexis]

*rubs hands in anticipation*
Can it be multiple choice? Pleeeeease ?
*looks endearing*

 

[Dubversion]

no, that wouldn't work.

silly perplexis.

 

[perplexis]

no, that wouldn't work.

silly perplexis.

I know, but I wanted to spread the hate
Oh well I shall have to consider the options with my usual care and finesse...

 

[boozybirdie]

Changed my mind from what I originally suggested but I would rather have my ears bleed than listen to any form of trance.

Edit: Just noticed Dadrock

 

[killer b]

now that i look at the options, it's pretty difficult...

 

[Orang Utan]

HOW DARE YOU PUT IN ACID JAZZ WITH JAZZ FUNK?
Acid Jazz is poor Jazz Funk, so need to mention Jazz Funk

 

[Hollis]

I like all of those. And am unable to vote.

 

[killer b]

voted.

i went for new age in the end...

 

[colacubes]

There's too many to choose from

R&B = mostly shite with a few exceptions
Dadrock = Keane & Coldplay and their ilk are fucking shite but people like Weller occasionally do something bearable
Acid Jazz = WTF is that about
Power ballads = Generally awfulo but saved just cos I usually end up singing along to them when I've had a few too many
Funky house = what is the point

Going to have to be the fucking New Age, crystal healing, dollphin squeaking Enya bollocks

 

[baldrick]

ooooh

funky house or r'nb?????! god, i really don't know! i'm torn.

they're both equally awful.

 

[Belushi]

Hard choice, but in the end went for that Dadrock/Bedwetter scene, even with Folk, Acid Jazz and Indie in the running theres nothing worse than the music for people who dont like music.

 

[boohoo]

ooooh

funky house or r'nb?????! god, i really don't know! i'm torn.

they're both equally awful.

Give people choice and they panic!!! It's a poll ffs!!!!

 

[Belushi]

I would have voted for that New Age shite but its not really music in any real sense is it.

 

[Louloubelle]

I would like to object to the following caytegory:

New Age / World Music / Floaty Shite (Deep Forest)

New age covers such a wide range of horrible music, including some disgustingly awful psy-trance / african or arabic music hybrids, however putting 'world music' (hate the term) in this category lumps some of the worlds greatest musicans in a category with sopme of the worst drivel to ever contaminate the airwaves.

If the cateogy means hideous pretentious psy-trance influenced dj monkey pilot related bollix that occasionally references african and arabic music only to drown it in a but pile of noodly bleeueuughh and whale sounds then this would be the category I would vote for.

I hope this makes sense

 

[saucisson]

what differentiates funky house from just 'house' or deep house or tech house, or commercial house...(dont just say its funkier...)....is it the word funky people object to (as its a stupid word) or is there actually a genre of music called funky house that I am not aware of ....(I have been a fan of a lot of house music over the years and am not sure I know what funky house is). For those that dont like it.....do you like other types of dance/house music? if so what is it you object to about 'funky house'....

 

[bluestreak]

i went for modernr&b, because i really cannot see the point. take all that is good about soul, funk, disco and hiphop. throw away. mix the remaining negative bits into a pointless mass of charmless, tuneless, moronic music. sell billions of units.

why jesus, why?

 

[Hollis]

Actually having checked the definition of 'Dadrock' here - not one I'd agree with - I'd vote for that. - But primarily for the 'Bedwetter' element.

 

[Dubversion]

New Age / World Music / Floaty Shite (Deep Forest)

New age covers such a wide range of horrible music, including some disgustingly awful psy-trance / african or arabic music hybrids, however putting 'world music' (hate the term) in this category lumps some of the worlds greatest musicans in a category with sopme of the worst drivel to ever contaminate the airwaves.

if you read the thread which generated this poll, it would be abundantly clear.

 

[perplexis]

I had to go for funky house in the end.
None of the others are quite as offensive to me.
It was very hard to discount New Age, Psytrance and dadrock, but it came down to the (admittedly embarrassing) fact that I went to rave once and enjoyed psytrance; well, I was hammered, but there it is, it does work if you've had enough, not defending it mind), dadrock is a cheating category cos it's subsumed every time of bad guitar music which are stylistically very different from each other and New Age- I like whale songs, they send me to sleep. and for good measure

 

[Belushi]

I quite like some R'nB

 

[belboid]

hmmm, its a tough choice between three of them.....

Acid Jazz, Power Ballads, or New Age.....

I shall have to use the infallible logic of 'coming up with stupid reasons', hence:

Power ballads - can sometimes be accidentally funny and make for good skits/punk covers (that are enjoyable live and shite on record)
New Age - as the defition includes 'world music' this is a gross slur, even tho all of yer actual New Age is unmitigated shit

Which leaves us with...Acid motherfucking Jazz. A body curlingly vile form of muzak made by oh so hip twats all called Jay, and who simply rip off the same Stevie Wonder album over and over and over and over. Tell you what wanker, you should destring that slap happy bass, and wrap them round your neck and leap off the top of one of JayKays hats. You'd be doing some damn funky dancing then, for sure.

 

[Dubversion]

it doesn't matter if you like SOMETHING in a genre - that's almost inevitable, we're all grown-ups. So which genre contains the LEAST stuff you like.

I thought we'd dealt with this

 

[baldrick]

Give people choice and they panic!!! It's a poll ffs!!!!

i went for dad-rock in the end, can't believe i didn't notice it at first (says everything about the genre really, doesn't it). Keane are bloody dreadful and that damien rice bloke, well, words fail me at how painfully untalented he is. As for the rest of them, drowning in a pool of hungry sharks would be too good for them.

 

[braindancer]

This is very tough.

I could conceivably vote for many of the categories but I think I will have to go for funky house. A despicable genre that has never given me even a second's pleasure at any point in my life.

(Although Stardust's 'Music sounds better with you' and Daft Punk's 'One more time' could almost be described as funky house couldn't they? If so the above sentence is a lie).

I don't think the same can be said for any of the other genres - power ballads have amused me at times and once upon a time I was quite keen on a bit of psy-trance (when ripped to the tits on ecstasy pipes)

 

[saucisson]

This is very tough.

I could conceivably vote for many of the categories but I think I will have to go for funky house. A despicable genre that has never given me even a second's pleasure at any point in my life.

(Although Stardust's 'Music sounds better with you' and Daft Punk's 'One more time' could almost be described as funky house couldn't they? If so the above sentence is a lie).

I don't think the same can be said for any of the other genres - power ballads have amused me at times and once upon a time I was quite keen on a bit of psy-trance (when ripped to the tits on ecstasy pipes)

can you tell me what funky house is please? Is basement jaxx funky house? is DJ Sneak funky house? Is derrick carter funky house? Are DIY Funky house? are layo and bushwacka funky house? Are SLAM funky house?...give me some reference points so I can either agree or defend it.

 

[Spandex]

The dread words C******y, D***d G**y and K***e forced me to vote Bedwetter

 

[ChrisFilter]

Indie. No contest.

 

[BadlyDrawnGirl]

Okay, power ballads/AOR it is.

At least dadrock merely clings to the precipice that overlooks that particular hollow shit-crater.

 

[killer b]

can you tell me what funky house is please? Is basement jaxx funky house? is DJ Sneak funky house? Is derrick carter funky house? Are DIY Funky house? are layo and bushwacka funky house? Are SLAM funky house?...give me some reference points so I can either agree or defend it.

fortunately, none of your examples are 'funky house'. i couldn't really tell you who is though...