The office 'scolding email' thread

Discussion in 'education & employment' started by Badgers, Nov 14, 2006.

  1. Libertad

    Libertad Man of Steal

  2. Puddy_Tat

    Puddy_Tat lumpen proletaricat

    or get a toasting fork and build a modest bonfire

    :p
     
    Ax^, Me76, Bahnhof Strasse and 7 others like this.
  3. Me76

    Me76 Not very good lurker

    I worked in a uni and we weren't allowed a toaster because of the amount of times it had set the alarm off.

    Before that I used to have toast all the time at work. Since then I never have, even when the 'facility' has been available.
     
    Badgers likes this.
  4. BoatieBird

    BoatieBird Well-Known Member

    Received this morning.
    In red type for added emphasis

     
  5. Pickman's model

    Pickman's model Every man and every woman is a star

    upload_2017-9-17_19-5-16.png
     
    8115, marty21, muscovyduck and 6 others like this.
  6. existentialist

    existentialist Danced on by a twerking bee

    I was with them, all the way up to "just saying". At that point, I'd be spooning yogurt culture into their milk cartons.

    ETA: also, if you want to proactively stop people drinking your milk, produce a reasonably professional looking label that says something like "LIZARD MILK". Nobody will touch it. In fact, thinking about it, "HUMAN BREAST MILK" would probably work quite well.
     
  7. equationgirl

    equationgirl Respect my existence or expect my resistance

    The toaster's what have been removed?

    Surely the sign writer meant 'the toasters (plural)'...
     
  8. cybershot

    cybershot Well-Known Member

  9. dervish

    dervish if you flibble when you wibble, don't wobble

    This was posted on one of the urinals in my work on Friday

    IMG_20170914_171918_1.jpg

    I love that even the most simple instructions are ignored.
     
  10. Afternoon All,


    Is anyone waiting a parcel from ebay? It’s The Ultimate U2 Collection.

    Please contact me.


    Many thanks,



    :D
     
  11. cupid_stunt

    cupid_stunt Dyslexic cnut, & all round knob-head.

    Waiting for a parcel?

    That'll be the Bungle department.
     
  12. strung out

    strung out (",)

    I like the implied scold in the 'please contact me'
     
  13. The woman who sent it is leaving on Wednesday, an email has gone around asking for money for a pressie and they thoughtfully included bank details for who work from home to chip in. Yeah, right...
     
    emanymton and Badgers like this.
  14. Pickman's model

    Pickman's model Every man and every woman is a star

  15. equationgirl

    equationgirl Respect my existence or expect my resistance

    For starters, it's 'past students', technically they may be 'past students who passed' but they are probably not 'passed students' unless, sadly, they are dead.

    Also, if a load of crap on some shelves from ten years ago bothers the writer that much, go and fucking deal with it, don't send a whiny email.
     
  16. Pickman's model

    Pickman's model Every man and every woman is a star

    I don't think we're likely to see a classic like the loss of the poison cupboard key agaim this year, I only get dross like that now
     
    Schmetterling likes this.
  17. Puddy_Tat

    Puddy_Tat lumpen proletaricat

    :eek:

    :D
     
  18. equationgirl

    equationgirl Respect my existence or expect my resistance

    Ah, a true classic of the genre.

    I expect you to pass on my comments about their crap grammar though, sent to all, naturally.
     
  19. Pickman's model

    Pickman's model Every man and every woman is a star

    Yeh yer man doesn't know I exist so it would announce my presence with a bang :cool:
     
  20. equationgirl

    equationgirl Respect my existence or expect my resistance

    He brought it on himself. I have zero sympathies :)
     
  21. Whagwan

    Whagwan Well-Known Member

    Used to work in a lab where I knew for a fact my manager was ordering in pH buffer etc for his grow room. So I responded by ordering in ether and top level digi-scales.
     
  22. BoatieBird

    BoatieBird Well-Known Member

     
    Mation, Me76, Thimble Queen and 6 others like this.
  23. Schmetterling

    Schmetterling I saw something nasty in the woodshed!

    Shove them up their arse? ;)
     
  24. BoatieBird

    BoatieBird Well-Known Member

    Knowing the person who wrote the email I strongly suspect that's what he had in mind :D
     
  25. May Kasahara

    May Kasahara thoughts start with a laser sound

    I never have any contributions to this thread :( Our receptionist did try and put up a classic 'wash your cups up rather than leave them in the sink' notice recently, but the CEO made her take it down because...it didn't say please. Given that the CEO is frequently the rudest person at work by some considerable margin, there was a lot of bitter laughing up sleeves. But no photos.
     
  26. Badgers

    Badgers Mr Big Shrimp!

  27. equationgirl

    equationgirl Respect my existence or expect my resistance

    A refreshingly clear sign, both in font and message.

    A smiley face would have been nice though.
     
  28. existentialist

    existentialist Danced on by a twerking bee

    You don't think that might have made it come over as a bit passive aggressive? :D
     
    Badgers and Thimble Queen like this.
  29. equationgirl

    equationgirl Respect my existence or expect my resistance

    OH no, I think it's expected in this genre :)
     
    Badgers and existentialist like this.
  30. QueenOfGoths

    QueenOfGoths Fuck you Dave!

    This made me chuckle thinking about how it would be a good Secret Santa gift for some of the note writers on this thread :D Plus who the fuck thought that calling this "Secret Santa" (not to mention the whole idea of making your shit not smell) was a good idea!

    SS-004-CB-Scent_1024x1024.png
     
    Badgers and BoatieBird like this.

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