The office 'scolding email' thread

Discussion in 'education & employment' started by Badgers, Nov 14, 2006.

  1. Badgers

    Badgers Mr Big Shrimp!

    I love getting emails like this, they crack me up.....

    Please post more up and make my working day more bearable!!

  2. etnea


    I have a few of these...

    Badgers and muscovyduck like this.
  3. aqua

    aqua made of cheese and gin

    Badgers likes this.
  4. cesare

    cesare don't mourn, organise!

    :D I don't get those anymore. Those are great - at least some of them injected some humour :D
    Badgers and Pickman's model like this.
  5. Donna Ferentes

    Donna Ferentes jubliado

    I wrote one once after somebody kept drinking my milk. It went something like:

    Before drinking the milk in the fridge from the carton marked Donna, please check that your name is, in fact, Donna. Somebody has been drinking from it under the apparent impression that their name is Donna, which surprises me as to my knowledge I am in fact the only Donna working here. If you are not sure what your name is, please check with a friend beforehand. Thank you.
  6. boozybirdie

    boozybirdie New Member

    :D fab
    Badgers likes this.
  7. Loki

    Loki RIP R.I.P.

    That person wouldn't speak for me, I wouldn't give a fuck, glad they're enjoying some decent nosh.

    I bet they're on some sort of diet and can't handle the smell of yummy food.
    Badgers likes this.
  8. Badgers

    Badgers Mr Big Shrimp!

    A personal favourite from June this year

    Pickman's model likes this.
  9. Wintermute

    Wintermute easy tiger

    the others are fair game - my own favourite was one reminding everybody that the cleaners are only contracted to clean 2 cups per person so could you please keep count and wash up if you've gone over? :D But that one - "dear everybody, please don't unplug the computer network..." :eek: I'd have stuck barbed wire to the back of the plug, never mind a group email...
    Badgers likes this.
  10. fractionMan

    fractionMan Custom Title

    I got one in all capitals the other day

    Badgers likes this.
  11. Badgers

    Badgers Mr Big Shrimp!

    A recurring theme....

    Pickman's model likes this.
  12. fractionMan

    fractionMan Custom Title

    In my mind, that's exactly what cleaners are employed to do. Clean things. :confused:
    Badgers likes this.
  13. Badgers

    Badgers Mr Big Shrimp!

    I really enjoyed this one as two less 'pleasant' members of the management team were involved in the 'late night drinking session'

    Pickman's model likes this.
  14. oryx

    oryx Sitting on the bock of the day

    This thread is :D :D .

    In a previous workplace, an email went round from one of the HR people asking us to refrain from using dessert spoons to make tea & coffee, instead of teaspoons. She obviously had loads of really important HR-related things to do .....NOT!

    (I was one of the main culprits :oops: :D :D )
    Badgers and ButterPie like this.
  15. Badgers

    Badgers Mr Big Shrimp!

    I may have been 'spoken to directly' :D
    Pickman's model likes this.
  16. Mr Retro

    Mr Retro Beware hedgehogs

    I love the mobile phone one

    I have a conversation every couple of weeks that goes:

    Can we have your personal mobile number?
    - No it's personal
    Do you want a company phone then?
    - Can I use it for personal calls because I'm not carrying 2 around?
    No, it's for company use only
    - No thanks then.
    So can we have your personal mobile number?
    - No it's personal
    Do you want .......
    One dog, Badgers and muscovyduck like this.
  17. tommers

    tommers Your disco needs you

    god, this depresses me. I am so glad I don't work in that environment any more. I mean, we still get people moaning about not washing up cups but nobody sends an email about it.

    so much pent up frustration.. *shakes head* :( :D
    Badgers likes this.
  18. Mr_Nice

    Mr_Nice A Weekend Warrior

    Had a classic a while ago ... some woman sent out an email on the coporate distribution list saying that she had an ironing board for sale for £15, then some one replied to ALL asking if she would take £10 then an IT bod mails everyone to say that this is using up valuable resource, then some one else replies asking if it came with an iron then somebody higher the chain said stop sending any more mails, then another jobs worth sent another to all saying that he was quite right ...etc :rolleyes:
    Badgers likes this.
  19. beeboo

    beeboo geek chic


    oooh, a "SMEG" fridge. I love how unnecessary, but telling, that detail is. :D
    ricbake and Badgers like this.
  20. cesare

    cesare don't mourn, organise!

    For some reason that comment about not crying over the spilt milk really tickled me :D
    Badgers likes this.
  21. Pieface

    Pieface New Member

    I know. Sounds odious doesn't it? A pox on the smeggy fridge!
    Badgers likes this.
  22. beeboo

    beeboo geek chic

    Poor office, living under the illusion it is still 1997. :(
    Badgers likes this.
  23. Badgers

    Badgers Mr Big Shrimp!

    A bit like our mate OJ?

    February 4 1997 (over 9 years ago!!!)

    O. J. Simpson is found liable in civil court for the death of Ron Goldman and for the battery of Nicole Brown Simpson. Simpson is ordered to pay $35,000,000 in damages to the families of the 2 victims.
    Pickman's model likes this.
  24. J77

    J77 residing

    At one of the UKs most prestigous education institutes :D
  25. Loki

    Loki RIP R.I.P.

    Wrong, wrong and wrong! In fact, I read about a study that found that people with "untidy" cluttered desks are mostly more productive and creative than their clean desk counterparts.

    In yer face!
  26. irishshapes

    irishshapes Peeing recklessly

    i've had my phone taken back off me, and now they want my personal number! i have this conversation every few weeks! i'm actually beggining to think it's quite funny now!
  27. electrogirl

    electrogirl dignity is overrated

    I also like the little signs you get everywhere which generally have some kind of clip art on them. Those bloody beany men have a lot to answer for.
  28. chio

    chio New Member

    There's one where I am with something along the lines of "Hi! I'm Mr Mouse! You might remember me from those irritating adverts. I absolutely adore it when you leave your half-eaten curry out overnight... keep it up and you'll not be able to get rid of me... ever..."

  29. Mogden

    Mogden I like tea

    Well this lot will be doing chuff all work then.
    I'm more inclined to believe it's true rather than:

    "Staff are asked to organise their desks when shared with colleagues to avoid clutter and to make sure they have everything set up to do their job effectively.

    Any suggestion that staff are restricted to a pen and cup on their desk is simply not true."

    Nah mate, it's just a pen they're allowed :p
  30. fractionMan

    fractionMan Custom Title

    Where, where is that study?

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