The Logistics of a Cannibalistic Pie Shop

[kabbes]

You'd also make them feel all superior because they can spell Todd.

You should have seen how I originally typed "commercial success".

 

[London_Calling]

BBQ

*puts spade back in shed*

 

[marty21]

*puts spade back in shed*

Open goal tbf

 

[Santino]

You'd also make them feel all superior because they can spell Todd.

Not to mention 'Sweeney'.

 

[marty21]

Not to mention 'Sweeney'.

throw him on the barbie

 

[kabbes]

I feel that my point has been lost in the rush to condemn mistypings and misspellings.

 

[London_Calling]

I quite like a lattice top sometimes. Just saying.

 

[Crispy]

I feel that my point has been lost in the rush to condemn mistypings and misspellings.

misty pings

 

[Bakunin]

So about Keith Floyd - was it cremation or burial?

An attempt to cremate an alcohol-sodden Keith Floyd, yesterday:

 

[8den]

yeah, but by not telling people what they are eating, you lose your USP, and people may go to other pie shops instead

An intriguing argument, the counter point is though, I think, and I could be wrong mind, I think that killing people on the premise and dismembering them before turning them into pies, may breach some of those tedious new EU bureaucratic public health laws.

There's three things you never want to see made, sausages, laws, and human meat pies.

So lets sleeping dogs lie

 

[marty21]

An intriguing argument, the counter point is though, I think, and I could be wrong mind, I think that killing people on the premise and dismembering them before turning them into pies, may breach some of those tedious new EU bureaucratic public health laws.

There's three things you never want to see made, sausages, laws, and human meat pies.

So lets sleeping dogs lie

bastard eurocrats!

 

[8den]

I think we need euphemisms for our pies.

How about a Pork CSO pie. "Free range pigs that are found roaming around most london boroughs served in a Cider Sauce ( made from confiscated Scrumpy taken from ASBO breaching teenagers, a Pig CSO's natural prey) with Saffron and Oregano".

 

[Obnoxiousness]

About 40% of your bodyweight is muscle (apparently). Add on a little for skin, fat and connective tissue and I reckon you could get that up to 50%. Not all butcherable cuts, of course, but that doesn't matter for pies. Depending on the quality of you pies, you could chuck loads of offal in there too. Maybe up to 75% bodyweight without getting too gross. A 75kg male would therefore give you about 55kg of useful pie filling. A quick google of pork pie recipes shows around 125g meat per person per pie, so you could get 440 pie servings out of a single body.

Amazing!

 

[kabbes]

misty pings