The All New Name and Shame Stupid Adverts Thread

[Nine Bob Note]

Lynx... Why is a company who's previous marketing strategy has consisted of little more than "Wear Lynx to shag birds or people'll think you're queer" using a naked man? Nine arse 'n' all, but I don't get it

PICTURE Loans (I BELIEVE many of you are refering to)... "So, yeah... See the match last night? 25k alright? Discount if I let you knob the missus while I film it on my extravagent-for-someone-in-so-much-fucking-debt camcorder?"

Wheatabix... "Are YOU doing to the Wheatabix challenge?" If, by that, you mean do I eat Wheatabix when I feel like it, then yes. If you mean have I eaten it for forteen days straight with seven (sorry, forteen) kinds of shit poured over the top just because some tediously cosy BBC1 sitcom inhabiting students think it's really cool, even considering it to be some sort of challenge, then fuck off.

 

[FabricLiveBaby!]

PICTURE Loans (I BELIEVE many of you are refering to)...
.

That's the one!!

Theres so many shite loan adverts out there that I can never remeber their names.

Goes to prove the adverts don't work

 

[Idaho]

I fear I might single-handedly keep this thread alive for months. I spent most evenings in an apoplectic rage due to stupid adverts.

Bank and Insurance Adverts are pretty irritating. Car adverts show how crap it is to drive most of the time as instead of showing people stop-starting in traffic jams, they have cars flying through the air or floating in some fantasy world.

However the worst are beauty product adverts. The pseudo science in them Oh the annnngggggooooooorrrr!

And the very worst is the one with Melanie Sykes (I think that's her name)

"The things I do for my skin" picks up cup of water, drinks a sip, looks at glass of water.

I fucking christ almighty - you poor thing. Can you imagine - having to drink water? It beggars belief

 

[Idaho]

Lynx... Why is a company who's previous marketing strategy has consisted of little more than "Wear Lynx to shag birds or people'll think you're queer" using a naked man? Nine arse 'n' all, but I don't get it

It is the same company who made Impulse, with pretty much the exact same advertising concept.

They should change Lynx advertising to "smell like an overperfumed adolescent", as it seems to be only they who use the stuff.

 

[gosub]

That Oral B pulse one. Wanky pissflaps vibrating toothbrush. At the bottom of the usual CGI shit, "Dramatization".

Actually found that tooth brush quite good though, good rid of shit loads more tartar and smoking stains.


Babybel , don't think cheese think rubber.

Vauxhall cars flying and spinning all over the place. Who want to by a car with handling that crap. Quite liked their surfing one though as tempted to arrange a test drive down to the beach, love to see sales man's face when starting to explain "but your advert reckons..."

 

[gosub]

And ALL perfume adverts, why bother

 

[souljacker]

PC world one for Dual Core PC's

You can surf the web at the same time as downloading music!

Errrr.....I could do that on my pentium 166, 10 years ago, actually.

 

[CaptPierce]

Cillit Bang - I can't remember the blokes name who fronts it but he shouldn't be allowed to address his felow human beings. Everytime I see him I feel everyone responsible should be made to drink the product. Obnoxious.

 

[FabricLiveBaby!]

Cillit Bang - I can't remember the blokes name who fronts it but he shouldn't be allowed to address his felow human beings. Everytime I see him I feel everyone responsible should be made to drink the product. Obnoxious.

That man shouts too much.

Incidently I bought some because I was intreagued. Works wonders.;

 

[gosub]

The benifits fraud one.

There enough nutjob conspiricy theories around without the the Department of Works and Pensions implying that the goverment is being run by Mysterons

 

[Pseudopsycho]

"Have you been the victim of an accident or negligence in the past 3 years..."

Damn them and all of their ilk!

 

[billy_bob]

Any advert for Pringles. They've got a perfectly marketable delicious crisp going for them, but they doggedly insist on trying to convince us that strangely round crisps that come in a tube are somehow fun and crazy, and end up making it look like you have to be an utter twat to eat them.

 

[Idaho]

The benifits fraud one.

There enough nutjob conspiricy theories around without the the Department of Works and Pensions implying that the goverment is being run by Mysterons

I love the way the cheat is secretly chuckling to himself about how he had swizzed his friends out of a drink.. hehehehe...

 

[beeboo]

That man shouts too much.

Incidently I bought some because I was intreagued. Works wonders.;

"HI..I'M BARRY SCOTT"

Thing is it's probably one of the most successful adverts ever because EVERYONE knows Cillit Bang now.

The worst example I can think of at the moment is the one for some kind of kitchen cleaner, where the USP is that it sticks to vertical surfaces - demonstrated by a woman's kitchen tilting up by 90 degrees so the worktop is on a vertical.

Now, as this generally doesn't happen in real life, they're not really selling it. Why not show someone cleaning marks of the front of cupboards or the oven door?

 

[liampreston]

It's September, so it's piecework season! "Bring ballet to life...." "Bring John Wayne's movies to life....". Did I really see the Lord of the Rings chess set, with £9.99 a week piecework at ONE PIECE PER ISSUE?!

 

[Pigeon]

That annoying American Skechers shoe add. The one with people saying "oh no my skechers" or something.

GAH! The bloke whines "who would do this to my skechers?"

Mate, given half the chance I'd fill your skechers with your own steaming innards.

Cunt.

 

[Masseuse]

I love the Sketchers ad.

Any cleaning product ad that has blokes in drag.

 

[louderthanbombs]

the advert with phill 'loans, i know nothing bout loans' tufnell. What an annoying c**t

 

[nuffsaid]

Off topic -

I really like the Honda ad where the guy who looks like he's straight out of a 70s porn film drives various Honda vehicles getting bigger and faster - cool retro car, and great sppedboat, good tune to.

On topic -

Skechers ad - how do they keep a straight face with such appaling acting.

 

[poster342002]

Those ads redolent of something out of the former eastern bloc that exhort people to report their neighbours if they suspect them of benefit fruad or things like that.

 

[FabricLiveBaby!]

NORON FUCKING FINANCE!

"hello norton finance can I help yooooooooou?"


Fuck off "haley". you have an annoying telephone voice I'll "process my application" up your arse.

 

[treefrog]

The benifits fraud one.

There enough nutjob conspiricy theories around without the the Department of Works and Pensions implying that the goverment is being run by Mysterons

LOL!

If I'd been drinking tea I'd have spat it out when I read that.

As for Lynx, as someone who works in a boy's secondary school I think it should be banned under the Human Rights Act, and that's before we get to the adverts

The hideous Weightwatchers advert. "ever feel like you're the fattest hog in the room? For all your money we'll point and laugh at you until you're thin." All to an "uplifting" fucking Cher tune. I am infuriated just thinking about it...

 

[hatz]

If I'd been drinking tea I'd have spat it out when I read that.

I've just managed to laugh so hard that coffee came out of my nose and onto the keyboard (at work) at least five times in this thread!!

 

[red rose]

Argh I've just seen an advert with Jeffery Fucking Archer.

Apparently he's now playing on his dishonesty - in the advert he's wearing an earpiece and parrotting what some woman reads him from her magazine to make loads of people in suits think he's clever.

Then the stupid woman stops feeding him information to make the tea and he's outraged that she's no longer aiding and abetting his horrid lies ("technical hitch?!?") and I don't think I've ever seen an expression I want to hit more.

But then at the end of the advert he's so unbelievably smug that I realise I was wrong.

 

[FabricLiveBaby!]

Jeffery Fucking Archer.

Tosser!

 

[Idaho]

I hate those Coke adverts. The ones that make out that griping about stupid things is some great revolutionary exercise. That all humanity really needs to rise up and protest about is nagging girlfriends and having to get up in the morning.

 

[souljacker]

Argh I've just seen an advert with Jeffery Fucking Archer.

Apparently he's now playing on his dishonesty - in the advert he's wearing an earpiece and parrotting what some woman reads him from her magazine to make loads of people in suits think he's clever.

Then the stupid woman stops feeding him information to make the tea and he's outraged that she's no longer aiding and abetting his horrid lies ("technical hitch?!?") and I don't think I've ever seen an expression I want to hit more.

But then at the end of the advert he's so unbelievably smug that I realise I was wrong.

Yes, its a shocking advert. Although I'm not at all surprised that the smug cunt gets all his policy ideas from Heat magazine.

 

[Pieface]

That one about how gorgeous doesn't need to make any effort (whilst trying to sell us a car) winds me up so badly

The models twat about trying to embody this abstraction and you can hear in your head the shit that was spouted at them by the director....

"You're gorgeous, you don't need to try - effortless cool and sophistication blah de blah"

it's rubbish.

 

[futha]

haha...

 

[TheDave]

Any advert with a song sung a capella by fucking kids to some shitty clapping.

Annoy the shit out of me, there has been about 6 of them in the last couple of months.

Just makes me wanna punch something.