Team Building Day

[likesfish]

ran a few amex exes failed at problem solving that 12 year olds with adhd had succeeded at baiscally none of them wouldmake a decision
nhs managers raft building complete sense of humour faliure and waterborne fisticuffs although after they'd fallen in did see the funny side

 

[marty21]

lap dancing club (No drinking or touching allowed )

 

[bi0boy]

I would suggest litter picking, that should sort the wheat from the chaff.

 

[Bajie]

I have one of these obscenities threatened this month,

the subject will be - process mapping

for fucks sake

 

[equationgirl]

I have one on the 21st.

Our superkeen marketing guy volunteered himself to be the rep for our unit.

We have to go to somewhere in the backarse of nowhere and do corporate puzzle thingies and collect tokens which we can exchange for pieces of a wallhanging of the company mission statement made into a picture.

I think I want to curl up and die.

We have been told it's mandatory - no excuses accepted.

Suggestiosn to help me get through the day will be gratefully appreciated.

 

[Epico]

Do those words fill you with dread or is it just me?

Current suggestions:

Ten Pin Bowling

Ten Pin Bowling always starts with friendly 'well-dones' and 'unlucky mates' and ends with cries of 'fukey cunt!!' and 'ha ha, you're shit!!!!'. This has been the case everytime I've been bowling with either family or at primary school, secondry school, college, uni, work etc, etc.

Terrible idea for team building; brings out a competitive streak in people who didn't even know they had one.

 

[wtfftw]

Place near me does things like group drumming, movement and cooperative sculpture.

 

[Bob_the_lost]

Spike the team rep's drink with mild laxitives.

 

[Arik]

TBH I've always been a bit jealous of people working for companies that spent money on Team Building or bonding, or huge christmas parties or whatever it may be.

Being employed by crap small businesses that just make you WORK every day of the year with the occaisional lame birthday cake or unenthusiastic trip to the pub really sucks. Any excursion or other excuse to get away from my computer is a good thing, no matter how dull my workmates are (very). Perhaps I'm a bit naive? How bad can ten pin bowling be?

 

[Epona]

I recently did a Spitalfields treasure hunt as a team building thingywhatsit. It was quite fantastic as I used to live near there and so excelled brilliantly at the historically based clues and made myself look super-intelligent even for a temp

I am now faced with the prospect of a pretty-much-compulsory overnight stay in Manchester if I'm still there in November. Why the fuck would I want to spend a night away from home, let alone come up with ideas for useful team-building while I'm there, if I'm temping for them via an agency?

Not to mention the fact that last time I stayed overnight on work business (different employer) I was assaulted in my hotel room in the small hours of the morning by a stranger and can no longer stay in a hotel room by myself without suffering from panic attacks, but I don't really feel I ought to have to share this nugget of information with my current (temporary) colleagues?

It's a bloody minefield

 

[chainsaw cat]

I remeber helping out at one of these where the ta was despratly trying to
show off the kinder gentler side of the armed forces .The various exercises
involed fixing land rovers to get aid supplies through .rescuing people from minefields etc etc .Till our units turn .The particpants/victims were all handed a rifle loaded with blanks and led up a hill to attack a machine gun nest by a sargent doing his best screaming . Smoke bombs and thunder flashes and blanks
going off all over the place .Imppresive but off message what made it worse
all the participants thought it was great .Guess there is little bit of rambo in everyone .
Anyway I was suggesting it more as a suggestion to throw in the hat
to appear keen rather than suggest you actually take part .Hopefully the
army make the paperwork too difficult for all but the most keen to take part .

Brilliant!

Similar with a 'get the Ethnics to join' thing my TA unit did (we were mostly ex regs)

As we were targetting Sikhs, we all learned a bit about the Sikhs wars and how they helped us out in various gambols through Empire slaughter pits.... Make them feel wanted, and it was genuinely an eye-opener too.

They all turned up thinking they were on some sort of Scout camp, religious bods in robes with them, various mums and dads, and we just spent 48 hours having them blow things up, bayonet drill, assault courses, fire off gimpys and rifles and watch Sharpe reruns with cold beer to hand.
They fucking LOVED it!

We got one whole recruit.... the mums, dads and priests prevailed....


Civvy firm team building things are terrible nightmares from Hell, the only sane response is to get really pissed.

 

[Badgers]

The boat thing was wicked
Food in the Oxo Tower was good quality
Few hearty ales and home early

 

[Mogden]

I have one on the 21st.

Our superkeen marketing guy volunteered himself to be the rep for our unit.

We have to go to somewhere in the backarse of nowhere and do corporate puzzle thingies and collect tokens which we can exchange for pieces of a wallhanging of the company mission statement made into a picture.

I think I want to curl up and die.

We have been told it's mandatory - no excuses accepted.

Suggestiosn to help me get through the day will be gratefully appreciated.

Concussion. Stood up too quickly and caught yourself at a funny angle on a kitchen cupboard. You need to rest up and have someone keep an eye on you so it would be best if stayed at home for the day especially if you're going to be in the middle of nowhere cos the ambulance might not be able to locate you

 

[Junglist]

rock climbing, golf is a good laugh.

 

[Badgers]

Not planning any team-fucking-building past the boozer during paid working hours but was amused to see this lot email me offering a fun day for ALL the team:

http://www.britmilfit.com/events/corporate_events_page.aspx

 

[TopCat]

I would not be happy to organise one of these but they can be useful.

 

[Bahnhof Strasse]

I would not be happy to organise one of these but they can be useful.

Our last one was a day out to Lille in August.

The MD was seen snogging and with his hand up the skirt of some woman from the City office, his teenage kids were there to witness this

Our FD received a caution for attempting to assault a member of HM Customs upon his return to St. Pancras.

On the Monday after one woman comes in with her foot in plaster, something about kicking a bus...

Team well built there.

 

[Throbbing Angel]

Our last one was a day out to Lille in August.

The MD was seen snogging and with his hand up the skirt of some woman from the City office, his teenage kids were there to witness this

Our FD received a caution for attempting to assault a member of HM Customs upon his return to St. Pancras.

On the Monday after one woman comes in with her foot in plaster, something about kicking a bus...

Team well built there.

I want to work there

 

[ringo]

Had some horrors.

At one place after a morning of crappy exercises and the nastiest buffet lunch imaginable our team leader got us all written warnings for not staying for the free drinks in the afternoon. Free booze and we couldn't bare to be there with them says it all.

 

[bmd]

Surfing was on the agenda for the last team building day here.

Fuck. Off.

 

[kabbes]

Suggest an "everybody does some work in the office" day.

 

[Fuzzy]

whereabouts are you. our lot when canoeing for the day down a river in worcestershire.

 

[machine cat]

We went on a barge trip last year. I thought it would just be an excuse for a mass piss-up in the sunshine. Nobody drank except me and I ended up steering the barge into a load of bushes on the far bank "for a laugh". I couldn't believe I was the only person who saw the funny side of it.

 

[quimcunx]

Ten pin bowling is okay. You can drink and most people are rubbish at it so it shouldn't get too competitive.