Supernanny

[madzone]

Not directly, but they can learn that it is okay to use whatever physical advantage you have to 'win' a fight - if adults routinely use their greater strength to defeat their children, the child will decide that they are entitled to bite/scratch/whatever to even the odds.

But that couple didn't smack their kids - so your arguemnt is frankly ....well..... shite

 

[lizzieloo]

That kid was so upset and angry

I thought the 'thought box' was a brilliant idea

 

[lyra_k]

Not directly, but they can learn that it is okay to use whatever physical advantage you have to 'win' a fight - if adults routinely use their greater strength to defeat their children, the child will decide that they are entitled to bite/scratch/whatever to even the odds.

What cemented my vague desire not to smack the sproglet was the one time that I did. I was soooooo fucking irritated by her throwing food off her high chair tray a few months ago that I slapped her little hand (she would have been about 15 months), and the next day she did the same thing again, watching me with the weirdest expression on her face, then as soon as she'd done it, she slapped her own hand. I felt like such a piece of shit.

She'll never be slapped again, and I have to say that when she plays with other kids her own age (I take her to quite a lot of playgroups and stuff), it's VERY noticeable that the kids who get their bums swatted regularly by their parents are the same ones that go around slapping and hitting the other kids.

 

[Asriel]

If I'd ever spoken to my mum like that, I would NOT be here to tell the tale, thats for sure.

 

[wtfftw]

"Dont pinch your sister!"
"I DIDNT! I HIT HER".

HAHAH.

I've missed supernanny and no, I have no plans to have children.

 

[onenameshelley]

Are you one of those parents who think that the rules of acceptable behaviour only apply to their children and not to them? Can you not see the hypocrisy in statements like this:

Uh - but you're allowed to "kick [your] kids arse", are you?

Children are people too, not little slaves to be pushed around and have random rules imposed upon them by adults. My kids live by the same rules I do - and if they're not allowed to hit people, that means I'm not either.

Its a turn of phrase by the way, but yes i would have smacked them on the back of the legs just like I was when i did things that were wrong.

 

[Relahni]

spare the rod and spoil the child.

That older girl was Verucca Salts.

 

[Asriel]

Agreed.

 

[madzone]

What cemented my vague desire not to smack the sproglet was the one time that I did. I was soooooo fucking irritated by her throwing food off her high chair tray a few months ago that I slapped her little hand (she would have been about 15 months), and the next day she did the same thing again, watching me with the weirdest expression on her face, then as soon as she'd done it, she slapped her own hand. I felt like such a piece of shit.

She'll never be slapped again, and I have to say that when she plays with other kids her own age (I take her to quite a lot of playgroups and stuff), it's VERY noticeable that the kids who get their bums swatted regularly by their parents are the same ones that go around slapping and hitting the other kids.

I'm afraid I disagree completely Lyra. Yes there are children who don't hit other children but IMO it has no bearring on whether they have been smacked themselves or not. Some of the worst behaved children I have had in my house come from 'hippy' families who try to talk to their children as if they're adults and advocate the no smacking way of parenting. They generally have no respect for my house or my childrens toys.
It is incredibly rarely that my mids get smacked but if they bit me I would smack them. If somebody in the pub bit me I'd deck the fucker.

 

[lyra_k]

I'm afraid I disagree completely Lyra. Yes there are children who don't hit other children but IMO it has no bearring on whether they have been smacked themselves or not. Some of the worst behaved children I have had in my house come from 'hippy' families who try to talk to their children as if they're adults and advocate the no smacking way of parenting. They generally have no respect for my house or my childrens toys.
It is incredibly rarely that my mids get smacked but if they bit me I would smack them. If somebody in the pub bit me I'd deck the fucker.

I'm not asking/expecting you to agree or disagree with my personal anti-smacking sentiments - it's a very personal thing.

However, I don't see how you can *completely disagree* with something that was simply a factual observation from my own experience, just as I can't *completely disagree* with your own factual observation from YOUR experience. I'm quite sure that they're both true, and that just demonstrates that it's not a B&W issue with a nice neat right or wrong.

I think that for some people (like those you describe), no smacking = no discipline, and I know there are some parents who take the "children are little people with rights" things to a ridiculous extreme, and completely fail to provide any boundaries or guidance, and I agree 100% that that approach MAY create little monsters.

Personally, no smacking just means that. I won't hit my child (again), but I'm also very committed to providing boundaries and using alternative forms of discipline, because from my own observation that is what works best. People who take that approach (in my experience) take a huge amount of interest and have a huge commitment to child-rearing, while to me smacking is a kind of lazy quick-fix which might well work in the short-term, but which doesn't actually teach the child anything that you would want to be teaching them, although it might be a quickler and easier way of shutting them up in the short term.

 

[AllStarMe]

You have to wonder if little megan has any friends at school, who would want to be mates with a screaming/biting/pinching little girl like that?

I thought that! She was a nasty little madam!
It amazed/shocked me the way she spoke to her parents and Supernanny for that matter.
As much as I was awful to my Mum when i was growing up Id NEVER spoke to a stranger like that EVER!
The thought box was a fabulous idea though. Im glad it turned out ok though, she was actually a really sweet kid when you got rid of her temper! Seeing them do the play at the end was adorable!

 

[Buddy Bradley]

But that couple didn't smack their kids - so your arguemnt is frankly ....well..... shite

Sorry, didn't realise that you knew the couple involved personally and had been present throughout the upbringing of their children...

 

[madzone]

Sorry, didn't realise that you knew the couple involved personally and had been present throughout the upbringing of their children...

It was patently obvious that they didn't smack their children. Discipline was none existent.

 

[madzone]

I'm quite sure that they're both true, and that just demonstrates that it's not a B&W issue with a nice neat right or wrong.

Quite.
Which is why my hackels were raised by the generally smug tone at the beginning of this thread. Oh those awful parents, I wouldn't do it like that blah blah blah. I assume that none of the people criticising the parents have had to deal with a child like Satania - sorry Megan on a daily basis.

 

[Kidda]

Exactly! So the argument of teaching kids violence by being violent towards them is blown out of the water. There was no evidence that she had ever had so much as a tapped backside in her entire 8 or 9 years yet she would kick, bite, smack and puch anyone she flet like attacking. When a kid feels ok about attacking visotors to the house something is deeply amiss. Maybe if she'd had a smacked arse the fist time she did it she wouldn't have developed such behavioural problems? Who knows.

surely the issue is as a parent its your job to show the kid that smacking, biting or punching someone else isnt acceptable behaviour

maybe if the parents had set down ground rules and stuck to them the kids wouldnt be so out of control.

when i was growing up, we didnt need to be hit, just the thought of pissing my mom off was scary enough.

boundaries need to be set if the kids cross those boundaries they should be disciplined. There are many ways to do that than to just ''twat'' them one.

 

[lyra_k]

I assume that none of the people criticising the parents have had to deal with a child like Satania - sorry Megan on a daily basis.

But Megan wasn't parachuted into this family as a little demon. She was, I assume, born as a baby without any particular discipline problems, and then created, at least in part (a large part, I would argue) by how her parents failed to bother instilling any discipline in her.

I don't know anybody (and I do know a lot of parents of children of all ages, including my brother who has 4 ) who takes parenting seriously and devotes a lot of time and energy to it, who has young children (pre-peer-pressure) with serious behaviour issues.

 

[Buddy Bradley]

It was patently obvious that they didn't smack their children. Discipline was none existent.

Ah, so smacking = discipline. Right.

Why is it that parents who have problems controlling their children always like to talk about "discipline"? They're children, for Christ's sake, not army recruits!

My children receive lots of love, lots of attention and as much information as I judge appropriate; and they seem to be turning out okay.

 

[madzone]

Ah, so smacking = discipline. Right.

Why is it that parents who have problems controlling their children always like to talk about "discipline"? They're children, for Christ's sake, not army recruits!

My children receive lots of love, lots of attention and as much information as I judge appropriate; and they seem to be turning out okay.

Well aren't you the perfect parent? Perhaps you could write a little book on it to make everyone else feel inferior. You said your eldest child is 3. Wow, 3 years of parenting, what an expert. Do you work? Does your partner stay at home to care for the children? How are you going to feel when your eldest turns 18 and you find out your wife has only got through it on gin and valium?

 

[madzone]

But Megan wasn't parachuted into this family as a little demon. She was, I assume, born as a baby without any particular discipline problems, and then created, at least in part (a large part, I would argue) by how her parents failed to bother instilling any discipline in her.

I don't know anybody (and I do know a lot of parents of children of all ages, including my brother who has 4 ) who takes parenting seriously and devotes a lot of time and energy to it, who has young children (pre-peer-pressure) with serious behaviour issues.

No she wasn't parachuted in But I'm equally sure that her mother wasn't simply a 'bad' parent. She was a woman struggling with 3 children under the age of 10 while her husabnd was out at work. It's an organic process and one which I'm sure the mother was doing her best to address within her given resources.
All this criticism of the mother stinks IMO. You seem to be suggesting that people whose children develop behavioural issues don't devote time and energy to it or even take it seriously as a role. A bit of an assumption don't you think?

 

[Barking_Mad]

Am I the only one who fins Supernanny alluringly attractive? I think its the glasses

 

[madzone]

Am I the only one who fins Supernanny alluringly attractive? I think its the glasses

No, waterloowelshy has already admitted he finds the discipline arousing

 

[Barking_Mad]

On a more serious point I do think it's good that she sorts out the most 'nasty' of children with no physical violence whatsoever. Just goes to show that its possible to be 'fluffy yet firm' with kids and still get them to behave

 

[Barking_Mad]

No, waterloowelshy has already admitted he finds the discipline arousing

hah not sure its the discipline I like Think its just the control she has haha! I'd be a good boy though

 

[madzone]

On a more serious point I do think it's good that she sorts out the most 'nasty' of children with no physical violence whatsoever. Just goes to show that its possible to be 'fluffy yet firm' with kids and still get them to behave

I think the main point is that she's an outsider. That is the element I feel has the most impact.

 

[_angel_]

Some children are harder work than others and it's not always the parents fault.

And whilst I'd like supernanny to sort out autistic kids no way would I tolerate either of my two biting me. (They both have: eldest one meant it , youngest one didn't)

Don't like smacking but have had to slap eldest(8) (just once btw) occasionally like, when he started kicking and stuff around the china department of Allders . He doesn't understand verbal reasoning.

Slapping a younger kid - no.

 

[Termite Man]

I would only anbvocate smacking achild if they have hit another kid ! Teach them that the actions they carry out have consequnces and maybe they will think before acting . Of course I'm not a parent so what do I know !

 

[sheothebudworths]

I would only anbvocate smacking achild if they have hit another kid ! Teach them that the actions they carry out have consequnces and maybe they will think before acting .

The consequences of which can generally be got over just as well/better by pointing out to your child that they have hurt and upset another child (it really doesn't make sense to a child to be told that smacking is wrong, when they've just received a smack back).

Yes there are children who don't hit other children but IMO it has no bearring on whether they have been smacked themselves or not.

And ofcourse that works equally the other way around.

So what's the point in smacking them other than getting out some of your own rage?

 

[Buddy Bradley]

Well aren't you the perfect parent? Perhaps you could write a little book on it to make everyone else feel inferior. You said your eldest child is 3. Wow, 3 years of parenting, what an expert. Do you work? Does your partner stay at home to care for the children? How are you going to feel when your eldest turns 18 and you find out your wife has only got through it on gin and valium?

Fuck off with your ad hominem attacks - if you haven't the intelligence to defend your point of view, just have the good grace to admit defeat.

And are you now suggesting that only stay-at-home mothers have a right to an opinion on parenting? How thoroughly modern of you... Yes I work, and my wife works in the evenings and weekends. We share the responsibility for bringing up our children, which - apparently anathema to you - includes not deliberately hurting them.

 

[Buddy Bradley]

I would only anbvocate smacking achild if they have hit another kid ! Teach them that the actions they carry out have consequnces and maybe they will think before acting

All that will teach them is not to get caught next time. How on earth does hitting a child teach that child that hitting is bad?

 

[madzone]

Fuck off with your ad hominem attacks - if you haven't the intelligence to defend your point of view, just have the good grace to admit defeat.

And are you now suggesting that only stay-at-home mothers have a right to an opinion on parenting? How thoroughly modern of you... Yes I work, and my wife works in the evenings and weekends. We share the responsibility for bringing up our children, which - apparently anathema to you - includes not deliberately hurting them.

No, I'm suggesting you're a sanctimonious pillock who has rose tinted testacles.