Squirty Marmite.

[Urbane Worrier]

Squirty Marmite can soon be yours.I believe its going to be launched early next year with an ad campaign based around drawing famous faces on a piece of toast with the squirty.

It may mean missing out on that gratifiying scrape around the inner edges of the jar to find just enough for a slice of toast, three days running.

The best pitch, IMO, was a breastfeeding mother being able to get the Marmite on her toast using only one hand. As she eats it the infant splutters and throws up. And the tag line 'You either love it or hate it'

Anyone who has changed a babys nappy a day after Mumsie had a wicked curry knows what this is about.

It was kicked back by the ASA who refused to allow breastfeeding in advertising.

Tits are only OK if you're flogging perfume it seems. They didn't object to the child throwing up they objected to the use of breasts in their natural function. Fucking weird.

I've always liked the 'love it or hate it' ads.

I'm just off to get some bread, spread it with old fashioned marmite on one half, fold it and then separate. If it looks like Sigmund Fraud I'm gonna stick to 'Mums Marmalade' from the W.I. from now on.

 

[EastEnder]

Squirty Marmite???!!!

BLASPHEMY!!!!!!!

Marmite is supposed to be THICK!!!!

You can't squirt something that has the viscosity of Marmite, it's prohibited by the laws of physics, chemistry, biology and lots of other ology's.

The only way this travesty could be achieved is if the Marmite, IS NOT PROPER MARMITE!!!!

PROPER MARMITE DOES NOT SQUIRT!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[SwizzleStiX]

Sounds a bit grim to me, you wouldn't be able to get a smidgen, it would gloop out..

 

[killer b]

it'll make it easier to fire it down the toilet...

 

[Wookey]

Squirty Marmite is an abomination, and I hereby begin the backlash.

 

[Wookey]

183 uses for real Marmite.

 

[veracity]

Squirty Marmite is an abomination, and I hereby begin the backlash.

I'm right behind you Wookey.

I love Marmite but squirty Marmite is just wrong!

 

[pogofish]

Awful. Marmite should never be squirtable IMO. When they made Golden Syrup squirtable, they just ruined it & I doubt this will be any better.

 

[tobyjug]

Squirty Marmite

Good name for a band.

 

[Belushi]

Squirty Marmite? Has the World Gone Mad

 

[Groucho]

What evil contraptions will they think of next? Marmite should be deeply burried and incased in contrete and lead.

 

[Lava]

It will make it easier to use Marmite in bedroom games though.

 

[starfish]

Squirty Marmite sounds fun. Were just geting over finding Squirty Condensed Milk.

 

[tobyjug]

I prefer eggy soldiers to marmite ones.

 

[*Miss Daisy*]

next they'll be having squirty butter or sommat,,
bloody crazzzzy

 

[Lava]

In the states they have squirty cheese. It sounds magical.

 

[Groucho]

It will make it easier to use Marmite in bedroom games though.

That's perverse. On a par with scat. Not sure which I'd prefer least. Yuck!

 

[Wolfie]

t'int right,t'int proper

 

[pogofish]

Squirty Marmite sounds fun. Were just geting over finding Squirty Condensed Milk.

Tad slow? I remember squirty condensed milk from 30 or more years ago & I doubt it was a new idea then. Does it still to come in toothpaste-like tubes?

 

[onenameshelley]

In the states they have squirty cheese. It sounds magical.

Its fecking grim, cheese like marmite shouldnt be made "squirty"

 

[starfish]

Tad slow? I remember squirty condensed milk from 30 or more years ago & I doubt it was a new idea then. Does it still to come in toothpaste-like tubes?

I always thought it just came in those annoying wee tins. Theyre quite big bottles now. Tablet here we come.

 

[spanglechick]

wrong wrong wrong.

marmite isn't just an eating experience, the application of it is a sensual pleasure....

 

[Mrs Miggins]

It's already less thick than it used to be and that's abomination enough for this Miggins!!

 

[snadge]

I'm more of a bovril man meself although I do like Marmite.

squirty marmite, no thanks

 

[abee]

Marmite is REALLY difficult to remove, if it has been thinly spread on a car windscreen.

 

[snadge]

Marmite is REALLY difficult to remove, if it has been thinly spread on a car windscreen.

are you a windowlicker?

 

[Stobart Stopper]

This is just fucking wrong IMO, almost as bad as Trevor McDonald leaving News At Ten. This country is going to shit.

 

[abee]

are you a windowlicker?

Who said anything about eating it.
It's a product with in-built versatility.

 

[Pilgrim]

Squirty Marmite

Squirty Marmite?

Isn't that some obscure and potentially humiliating medical condition?

 

[Urbane Worrier]

Squirty Marmite?
Isn't that some obscure and potentially humiliating medical condition?

It can be, whenever I said to my son 'Do not put that marmite finger in your eye' he would. Luckily he has survived to the age of 20 with 20/20 vision.

All my other kids still have peanuts stuck up their nostrils. I warned them before they even thought about it, but do they listen? PAH!