Space Cadets

[akirajoel]

As much as I am loath to help plug forthcoming shows and shit. If I don't do it someone else will....

There have been shitty adverts for a new thing on Channel 4. Did some sniffing around and this is what I came up with:

The Independent reports on a new reality TV show - in top secret production since March - that will trick nine clueless victims into thinking they've travelled into space. It'll be filmed live starting in December.
"Issues that will be explained to them include the fact they will not be weightless in near space and that, like Sir Richard Branson's space-tourist shuttles, their craft will take off horizontally rather than vertically. A Russian fitness trainer will also take them through their physical paces.

The shuttle itself has been built using a set from the film Space Cowboys, starring Clint Eastwood, which was made from a Nasa blueprint. It consists of three sections - a cockpit, a mid-deck where they will they eat and sleep, and a laboratory, where the team will carry out experiments - some of them authentic, others slightly more wacky.

The cockpit has four windows, which are in reality giant digital screens using graphics three times the resolution of high definition television and better than the visual effects used in The Matrix, capable of recreating hurricanes over Mexico.

I just want to say again what I have said at length elsewhere: People are stupid. Don't even try to deny it.

 

[Firky]

they're the same kind of people who get 'hypnotised' by the likes of paul mckenna. They're not thick, they're just susceptible brainless twats

"Look Paul..... IM AN ALIEN"

 

[DJ Squelch]

This programme is costing some ridiculous amount to make so what happens if the contestants twig that its all a hoax in the first episode?
I think the jokes on us.

 

[Andy the Don]

Fucking ridiculous, the contestants will surely realise that they are still earth bound. They would notice the lack off acceleration & g's on take off. They may even notice that they are nowhere near any space project take-off area. They may even notice that in space there is supposed to be no atmosphere. But I think the clincher would be they could realise what a bunch of hapless muppets like them are doing anywhere near a space shuttle & the fact that most space explorers are either engineers, test pilots or scientists & not a hairdresser or such like from the West Midlands..

 

[Stigmata]

The only way they can keep the contestants from rumbling this is if they're 'celebrities'. They're notoriously dense.

 

[mtbskalover]

oh god, wat a crap sounding program, i cant stand reality tv and people who watch it

i've seen the trailers and hoped it would b a good new comedy, not like spoons, that was terrible, but something cool and funny

but oh no, more money waste in our great society.

 

[Leon]

This is blatantly going to be a double-bluff - we're the one's going to be bluffed by a bunch of actors pretending to be gullible.

 

[Donna Ferentes]

Yes, I think you may be right.

 

[StuPC]

Fucking ridiculous, the contestants will surely realise that they are still earth bound. They would notice the lack off acceleration & g's on take off. They may even notice that they are nowhere near any space project take-off area. They may even notice that in space there is supposed to be no atmosphere. But I think the clincher would be they could realise what a bunch of hapless muppets like them are doing anywhere near a space shuttle & the fact that most space explorers are either engineers, test pilots or scientists & not a hairdresser or such like from the West Midlands..

Not if they're stupid enough to apply to be on a reality TV programme in the first place...

 

[PacificOcean]

Aren't they going to notice that they are not getting into a space shuttle?

 

[StuPC]

Not with Davina McCall shouting in their ear, and with their own pumped-up egos being stoked to bursting point by the prospect of being on TV.

 

[akirajoel]

On this wednesday...

Changed my mind. Think I may watch it now.........

 

[YouSir]

Seems like a suprising amount of effort has been put into the illusion, saw Johnny Vaughan talking about it this morning, they've rigged up some abandoned air field with full Russian launch site facilities, right down to new plug sockets. Could well be a con of course, actors right the way through and I probably won't watch it, but I admire the attention to detail if nothing else.

 

[akirajoel]

I wonder how they're going to let them know? Or if they'll figure it out?

And I wonder if they're read the JG Ballard Short Story which kinda is about the same thing - but offers an interesting answer...........

 

[subversplat]

Is this some kind of weird post-modern reality TV where it's actually all scripted? I hate telly

 

[akirajoel]

Is this some kind of weird post-modern reality TV where it's actually all scripted? I hate telly

Probably not:

sadly true. I was talking to a psychologist last week who was asked to perform the screening for this show, having been a psychologist on high profile reality stuff before and she refused - she felt it was unethical. well, at least we know its not a double bluff and the poor muppets taking part aren't all actors.

 

[subversplat]

Probably not:

That person is probably employed by the show to post on bulletin boards verifying its veracity.

 

[akirajoel]

That person is probably employed by the show to post on bulletin boards verifying its veracity.

Jesus. Someone's feeling cynical today huh?

Heh.

 

[Good Intentions]

It's like a fucking Phillip K Dick book. Which is a great reason to give speed to everybody on camera.

 

[akirajoel]

Heh.

They could put it in their drinking water.

 

[KeyboardJockey]

But I think the clincher would be they could realise what a bunch of hapless muppets like them are doing anywhere near a space shuttle & the fact that most space explorers are either engineers, test pilots or scientists & not a hairdresser or such like from the West Midlands..

Maybe they are in training for the 'B' Ark along with the telephone sanitisers and advertising executives.

 

[ruffneck23]

there was something in the paper about it this morning about how one of the actors that is in there to convince them that its all real has kept on getting his back story wrong thus possibly making the ' reality TV stars ' suspicious...... so the producers fired him


and it hasnt even started yet

 

[May Kasahara]

My issue with this likely piece of shit is less with the presumed stupidity of the contestants and more with the fact that the programme makers obviously think that pointing fingers and laughing at people is the most hilarious thing in the world and that everyone should be encouraged to denigrate the thickos who think they're going into space. "Look! Aren't they stupid? Aren't we clever for seeing how stupid they are?" Honestly, as a fleeting ego boost it would be quicker and cheaper if they just sent everyone in their audience a gram of coke. Also some fucktard seems to have employed Johnny Vaughan, thus resurrecting his criminally pointless TV career and maintaining the illusion that he is in any way entertaining.

 

[akirajoel]

Maybe they are in training for the 'B' Ark along with the telephone sanitisers and advertising executives.

heh.

 

[wtfftw]

... some fucktard seems to have employed Johnny Vaughan, thus resurrecting his criminally pointless TV career and maintaining the illusion that he is in any way entertaining.

That's my main problem with it. Really.

 

[PacificOcean]

as a fleeting ego boost it would be quicker and cheaper if they just sent everyone in their audience a gram of coke.

The BBC should add this a policy for when it comes round to their charter renewal. I will happily pay the licence fee!

 

[Maggot]

So many people criticising a programme that hasn't even started yet!

This may well turn out to be rubbish, but it's bound to be much more interesting than Big Brother, X factor and I'm a Celebrity.

 

[Dubversion]

My issue with this likely piece of shit is less with the presumed stupidity of the contestants and more with the fact that the programme makers obviously think that pointing fingers and laughing at people is the most hilarious thing in the world and that everyone should be encouraged to denigrate the thickos who think they're going into space. "Look! Aren't they stupid? Aren't we clever for seeing how stupid they are?"

for the sake of balance:

a) the article i read at the weekend was at pains to point out that imagination was the key, not stupidity, when it came to the various psychological tests they employed to assess those likely to go along with it.
b) most practical jokes, set-ups and pranks involve some element of laughing at people.

 

[May Kasahara]

Indeed. I am very anti-practical jokes etc. because of this, mainly due to having been bullied a lot as a small child and having had long-lasting self-esteem issues as a result - there's a line between having a friendly piss-take and someone setting you up for a real let's-all-point-and-laugh session, and this prog seems firmly in the latter camp. Whether or not the participants are stupid, the intention is to make them look and feel stupid by making the nation (or whatever % of it is watching) laugh at them.

 

[Pigeon]

Personally, I think it would be far funnier if they kept Johnny Vaughan permanently locked in a mock-up of a TV studio.