Song lyrics that are unlikely to be true

[Red Horse]

'Today I didn't even have to use my A.K
I got to say it was a good day'

Yeah shut up, your Mum would kill you if she found an ak47 in your room. He would have been studying for his architecture exams, not driving around L.A not shooting people with Russian-made automatic weapons

 

[ericjarvis]

"...my friends all drive Porsches..."

Sod off Janis, they probably mostly drove Fords, Chevrolets and Dodges etc.

 

[Maggot]

Do you wanna be in my gang, my gang, my gang?

Even before you ask Gary, the answer is always going to be No.

It's a question so can't be untrue.

"And you may find yourself in a beautiful house, with a beautiful wife..."

No. I really really won't. I'd be lucky to find myself in a house with only half its walls missing and with a girl with only half of her teeth missing tbh.

It said you may, not you will. And you never know . . .

"We will be shipbuilding"

In this country? You must be fucken joking, all the shipyards have been converted into call centres already.

But we were shipbuilding when it was written.

 

[Shippou-Sensei]

"I believe I can fly"

You'll be happy for me to push you off that fucking tower block then eh?

this is r kelly we are talking about

after trapped in the closet i think he may believe anything

 

[rollinder]

"We will be shipbuilding"

In this country? You must be fucken joking, all the shipyards have been converted into call centres already.

But we were shipbuilding when it was written.

double fail, seeng the lyrics themselves say it's just a rumour

 

[albionism]

I'm a beggar on a beach of gold....Oh do fuck off

 

[Clint Iguana]

"Gonna shoot me fingers off and carve up all me mates
Gonna steal a motor car and smash it all to pieces
Gonna cut me liver out and pin it on your braces"


Kill: by Albertos Y Los trios Paranoias

 

[Clint Iguana]

"Well i got a silver machine
it flies sideways throught time"

 

[ouchmonkey]

double fail, seeng the lyrics themselves say it's just a rumour

it's a great lyric, but it is unlikely to be true as it imagines a situation in which the north east's shipyards are revitalised in order to build ships to send the shipbuilder's kids off to die in the spurious falklands war.
it's a particularly bleak and bitter indictment of Lady thatcher's government, and to think there are people on here who suggest we should not be delighted by her imminent death....

 

[Yelkcub]

"It's a Long Way To Tipperary, It's Long way To Go."

I guess if you were singing it on Jupiter.....

 

[DotCommunist]

'Guess what, I'm still a rock star'

Not in my book you aren't Pink, not now and not ever.

 

[ohmyliver]

"Me and some guys from school
Had a Band and we tried real hard
Jimmy quit and Jody got married
I shoulda known we'd never get far"

Mr Adams you were 8 in The Summer of 69. Would you like to contribute to a harrowing documentary I'm currently researching for on the long tradition of child brides in Canada

 

[Yetman]

Ice is back with my brand new invention

What? Shit rap? No mate thats been around for years, check out MC Miker G & DJ Sven for examples.

Turn off the lights and I'll glow

No you wont

If there was a problem yo I'll solve it

Global warming still appears to be a problem ice, or is this song just your attempt at mocking a problem you know you can solve, but choose not to for your own twisted amusement?

 

[stupid dogbot]

"With the lights out, it's less dangerous".

Tosh. Complete rubbish. Obviously, with the lights on, you'd be able to see the danger coming and make good your escape. Rather than floundering around in the dark like a near sighted trout in a net.

 

[Onket]

"With the lights out, it's less dangerous".

Tosh. Complete rubbish. Obviously, with the lights on, you'd be able to see the danger coming and make good your escape. Rather than floundering around in the dark like a near sighted trout in a net.

Well, it should be with the lights off.

With the lights out, presumably outside would be lit up, and therefore less dangerous.

 

[stupid dogbot]

Aaah, so he means "with the lights out and the curtains flung wide, it's less dangerous"?

Now we're getting somewhere...

 

[Onket]

I can only assume those are the general lines of what he's wailing, yes.

 

[Biglittlefish]

'When you cry I smmmmiiilllleeeee'

Nope you are far too busy telling anyone who'll listen.

 

[stupid dogbot]

I can only assume those are the general lines of what he's wailing, yes.

Tbh, I didn't think I'd get away so lightly with my dreadful insult to one of music's sacred cow lyrics...

 

[sojourner]

'Guess what, I'm still a rock star'

Not in my book you aren't Pink, not now and not ever.

Amen to that

 

[Kaka Tim]

'I shot the sherrif.'

I doubt you did Eric. The only thing you ever shot was your jizz.
All over a picture of Enoch Powell.

 

[laptop]

Semolina pilchard
climbing up the Eiffel Tower

How many wrongness in that?

 

[Dirty Martini]

"I was so much older then/I'm younger than that now"

Sadly, no.

 

[ericjarvis]

'I shot the sherrif.'

Has to be one of Bob Marley's weakest songs. I always preferred the Gruppo Sportivo version.

"I shot my manager, because he used to keep my royalties."

Though I suspect that one wasn't actually true either.

 

[Shippou-Sensei]

"It's a Long Way To Tipperary, It's Long way To Go."

I guess if you were singing it on Jupiter.....

try fucking walking it

(please note this does not apply to people living in limerick or the like)

 

[discokermit]

"Don't go changing, to try and please me
You never let me down before
Don't imagine you're too familiar
And I don't see you anymore
I wouldn't leave you in times of trouble
We never could have come this far
I took the good times, I'll take the bad times
I'll take you just the way you are "


billy joel, just before dumping his wife for a supermodel. cunt.

 

[damnhippie]

probably the whole lyrics to 'I'm In Great Shape' by Brian Wilson.

i'll be honest. you're not in great shape, Brian. now get back to your sandpit.

 

[fogbat]

This is probably the longest thread I've ever started

 

[stupid dogbot]

"With gratitude and tenderness I seared
Every single hair from his body
Gently placed his decapitated head in a stock pot
Boiled off his flesh and made a spreadable head cheese"

A head cheese? I mean, come on...

(from The Flensing of Sandor Katz, by Propagandhi)