Song lyrics that are unlikely to be true

[Boris Sprinkler]

"I am the best fuckin fuck in the whole USA
I can fuck you to death, I can fuck you to stay(?)
I am the best fucking fuck in the whole fuckin world"

Dwarves - Let's Fuck

 

[SpookyFrank]

I traveled far and wide through many different times

Wilderness by Joy Division....I think the furthest he got was Belgium.

Spain

 

[Voley]

"Well I'm Christ In Shades I'm A Napalm God
Your Lipstick Flickers Round My Lightning Rod
You Fever Pitch Bitch You Love To Tease
Well I'm A Hot Dog Daddy Up On Your Knees
Sex Fuhrer Baby I'm A Love Dictator
Blitzkrieg Romance I'm A Living Detonator"

Oh yes, and my real name is Mark Manning.

 

[Maggot]

It's my life
It never ends.

 

[dodgepot]

I'm The Sex Fuhrer Baby I'm A Love Dictator
You're A Disco Reptile A Funky Alligator

"Well I'm Christ In Shades I'm A Napalm God
Your Lipstick Flickers Round My Lightning Rod
You Fever Pitch Bitch You Love To Tease
Well I'm A Hot Dog Daddy Up On Your Knees
Sex Fuhrer Baby I'm A Love Dictator
Blitzkrieg Romance I'm A Living Detonator"

Oh yes, and my real name is Mark Manning.

 

[Sadken]

"fucker tried to bite my face off
I just got fuckin' chased off with a chainsaw
Then he took the chainsaw, bit the fuckin' blades off
Ate the blades, stuck a baseball in a slingshot
Then he aimed at his own face, let the thing pop
Took his eye out, picked it up and played ping pong
Then he played ping pong with his own ding dong
That motherfucker's got nuts like King Kong
Then he set the lawn mower out on the dang lawn
And he laid all up underneath it with the thing on
Then he took his pants, he took every fuckin' thing off
Everything, except his tank top and his training bra"

 

[paulhackett]

Do you wanna be in my gang, my gang, my gang?

Even before you ask Gary, the answer is always going to be No.

 

[ShiftyBagLady]

You might see me walkin a dead rottweiler dog
with it's head chopped off in the park with a spiked collar
hollerin at him cause the son of a bitch won't quit barkin

yes, but it's unlikely

 

[goldenecitrone]

I was a miner, I was docker.

No, Billy, you just had wet dreams about it.

 

[_pH_]

"fucker tried to bite my face off
I just got fuckin' chased off with a chainsaw
Then he took the chainsaw, bit the fuckin' blades off
Ate the blades, stuck a baseball in a slingshot

chainsaws don't have 'blades'

 

[Sadken]

Oh, I'm sorry, I thought this was the "song lyrics unlikely to be true" thread.

 

[Sadken]

No....no, a quick check has revealed my initial suspicion to be correct and that I was, in fact, correct to post those lyrics here.

 

[SpookyFrank]

"And you may find yourself in a beautiful house, with a beautiful wife..."

No. I really really won't. I'd be lucky to find myself in a house with only half its walls missing and with a girl with only half of her teeth missing tbh.

 

[Pickman's model]

chainsaws don't have 'blades'

pedant points all round

 

[_pH_]

Oh, I'm sorry, I thought this was the "song lyrics unlikely to be true" thread.

Yes it is Ken, I was pointing out the double fail of the lyrics.

Don't be so fuckin touchy man

 

[_pH_]

pedant points all round

how many pedant points do I win?

 

[Pickman's model]

how many pedant points do I win?

let's start you off on one, and see how you proceed from there. as for 'winning', it's not something to be particularly proud of.

 

[_pH_]

let's start you off on one, and see how you proceed from there. as for 'winning', it's not something to be particularly proud of.

well fuck you and the monkey you rode in on then

 

[Pickman's model]

well fuck you and the monkey you rode in on then

oh dear. you need to work on your anger.

 

[DotCommunist]

In the jungle, the mighty jungle, the Lion sleeps tonight'

bit lost is he? taking a break from his natural habitat on the Savannah?

 

[_pH_]

oh dear. you need to work on your anger.

I'm working on it, baby, i'm working on it


ooooooOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

mmmmmmmMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!

nnnnnnnnnNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGhhhhhhhhhHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

that's better.

 

[Garcia Lorca]

from the clash - clampdown..... *hoping.....

"The judge said five to ten but I say double that again
I'm not working for the clampdown
No man born with a living soul
Can be working for the clampdown
Kick over the wall 'cause government's to fall
How can you refuse it?
Let fury have the hour, anger can be power
D'you know that you can use it?

The voices in your head are calling
Stop wasting your time, there's nothing coming
Only a fool would think someone could save you
The men at the factory are old and cunning
You don't owe nothing, so boy get runnin'
It's the best years of your life they want to steal"

 

[SpookyFrank]

from the clash - clampdown..... *hoping.....

"The judge said five to ten but I say double that again
I'm not working for the clampdown
No man born with a living soul
Can be working for the clampdown
Kick over the wall 'cause government's to fall
How can you refuse it?
Let fury have the hour, anger can be power
D'you know that you can use it?

The voices in your head are calling
Stop wasting your time, there's nothing coming
Only a fool would think someone could save you
The men at the factory are old and cunning
You don't owe nothing, so boy get runnin'
It's the best years of your life they want to steal"

You quite like the Clash don't you?

 

[Onket]

God created me and you
And God created Brixton too

 

[Garcia Lorca]

You quite like the Clash don't you?

the voice of a lot of my frustrations, loved the no bullshit approach and the few of them ive spent time with were top geezers.

Aye, you could say that i like them just a little bit

 

[Greebo]

"Living in a box, living in a cardboard box" No you're not, you're doing very nicely off the money for that song.

"Money's too tight to mention" Yeah, right.

"Oh, think twice cos it's another day for you in paradise" Is it bollocks.

"Words don't come easy to me" so how come you managed to write a song about how you're no good with words? Get a grip FFS!

"Every time it rains, it rains pennies from heaven" That not what nusimatists tell me.

 

[tombowler]

Didn't We Have a Lovely Time the Day We Went to Bangor?

its a question though and not really answered in the affermative iirc so it could be true


"Im going to potty train the chairman mao!" BHS moving to florida

 

[SpookyFrank]

"We will be shipbuilding"

In this country? You must be fucken joking, all the shipyards have been converted into call centres already.

 

[Vintex]

I like big butts and I cannot lie, you other ones cant denie, oh its unlikely...wrong thread.

 

[Red Horse]

"Living in a box, living in a cardboard box" No you're not, you're doing very nicely off the money for that song.

Arrggggggh, ahahahahaha