So, just how bad WILL a no-deal Brexit be?

[SpineyNorman]

It will be like when nineties boy bands reform, but not properly because there's always one cunt that thinks he can do better as a DJ, or suffers from crippling social anxiety.

Or when a guitarist turns up to auditoin for Britain's Got Talent and Simon tells him to fuck off because guitarists

Or when John Lydon offers an opinion on anything whatsoever

John lydon is such a cunt, a mediocre cunt who thinks he's a genius. I loved him when I was about 15 but that's cos I was an obnoxious little shit.

 

[Magnus McGinty]

John lydon is such a cunt, a mediocre cunt who thinks he's a genius. I loved him when I was about 15 but that's cos I was an obnoxious little shit.

I am an anarchist, and I have a property portfolio

 

[Proper Tidy]

Rapid deflation combined with high wage growth will mean everybody has loads of disposable income but the supermarkets will only sell value sausage rolls, tinned fruit, and powdered chinese toothpaste

 

[Magnus McGinty]

That should be in italics.

 

[Proper Tidy]

Breaking news: 47 confirmed dead at a meat raffle riot in Leamington Spa

 

[Teaboy]

The latest Private Eye points out that Yellowhammer itself stated they'd likely have to get the army in (including reservists) to run local council bureaucracy because all the local bods would have to be drafted to central government just for it to function.

So that's reservist Dave the weekend warrior from the local garage sorting out housing etc. It could be fantastic.

 

[SpineyNorman]

Rapid deflation combined with high wage growth will mean everybody has loads of disposable income but the supermarkets will only sell value sausage rolls, tinned fruit, and powdered chinese toothpaste

Will we be able to get proper pop with loads of sugar in it? If so that sounds like a massive improvement.

 

[Proper Tidy]

Will end badly for the kulaks

 

[Steel Icarus]

I'll be eating scrambled egg out of a shoe with a comb

 

[SpineyNorman]

I'll be eating scrambled egg out of a shoe with a comb

Don't they already serve shit like that in trendy restaurants in London and that? Chicken and chips on a shit shovel or whatever?

 

[Rob Ray]

Enjoy.

 

[FridgeMagnet]

Good news if you were worried about not being able to get hold of medication though - you've been reclassified as "hooked on prescription drugs" so shortages are actually "a gradual reduction in use and dosage". Too many 'hooked' on prescription drugs

Alternatives such as talking therapies can be used instead of antidepressants, while linking people in with social activities, such as arts groups, can help reduce isolation and depression and tailored activity programmes and physio may be used to tackle pain.

lol because it's not like everything mentioned has been cut to non-existence now

 

[belboid]

This is incorrect you should have got Hendersons.

The first thing you've got right in weeks!

 

[SpackleFrog]

The first thing you've got right in weeks!

I thought you said we were gonna leave it there because you weren't prepared to admit you were wrong?

 

[cupid_stunt]

Don't they already serve shit like that in trendy restaurants in London and that? Chicken and chips on a shit shovel or whatever?

I had a steak meal served to me, in a local pub/restaurant, in a bloody frying pan!

I sent it back, requesting it be transferred onto a plate.

 

[Teaboy]

I had a steak meal served to me, in a local pub/restaurant, in a bloody frying pan!

I sent it back, requesting it be transferred onto a plate.

No doubt Chef made sure to send his / her regards as well as the plate.

 

[Magnus McGinty]

We’ll paint the paving slabs red, white and blue and have silver jubilee style street parties with fish and chips using our increased fishing quota.

 

[Rob Ray]

No doubt Chef made sure to send his / her regards as well as the plate.

They would have spat in it but were too busy trying to cook scrambled eggs in a colander.

 

[danny la rouge]

We’ll paint the paving slabs red, white and blue and have silver jubilee style street parties with fish and chips using our increased fishing quota.

I honestly read that as “increased fish and quinoa”.

 

[cupid_stunt]

No doubt Chef made sure to send his / her regards as well as the plate.

No, I was very careful & very polite, plus I was a regular & good with tips, so I think I was safe on that one.

Apparently I was not the first to make such a request, the waiter found it funny, the staff weren't happy with the new landlords bringing their crazy ideas to the village pub.

Meals served in frying pans/on bread boards, and chips in tin cans soon disappeared, and common sense prevailed.

 

[cupid_stunt]

They would have spat in it but were too busy trying to cook scrambled eggs in a colander.

 

[Proper Tidy]

I'm expecting big things from my 30% equity stake in I Can't Believe It's Not Olive Oil*

* salvaged red line from old tractors

 

[SpookyFrank]

We’ll paint the paving slabs red, white and blue and have silver jubilee style street parties with fish and chips using our increased fishing quota.

The fishing quota issue is the biggest (and I really am sorry about this) red herring in the whole brexit shitshow. Most of our fishing quota has been sold off to a few foreign megatrawler operators and most of the fish actually caught by UK boats in UK waters gets sold to the EU.

 

[Magnus McGinty]

I honestly read that as “increased fish and quinoa”.

That’s what we get if we remain.

 

[not-bono-ever]

I have literally just seen Rupert murdoch hugging Rebecca whatevs at their building at London Bridge* . They were both laughing away. Imagine this happening forever. This is the future.


*Absolutely true

 

[rubbershoes]

The fishing quota issue is the biggest (and I really am sorry about this) red herring in the whole brexit shitshow. Most of our fishing quota has been sold off to a few foreign megatrawler operators and most of the fish actually caught by UK boats in UK waters gets sold to the EU.

Let's not let facts get in the way.

 

[ricbake]

Fuel rationing
Food rationing
Implosion of social services
Black holes in chains of responsibility
Blockaded ports
Strikes
Power cuts
Civil unrest


But it might be ok - Mr Johnson has it all in hand....

Perhaps a work round the Irish backstop by making Northern Ireland a duty free zone, soft boarder area, or Irish and carry on regardless while the Good Friday Agreement is ignored and Johnson ignores the consequences.

 

[Magnus McGinty]

Let's not let facts get in the way.

Of a good thread?

 

[SpineyNorman]

I'll be dusting off the old family rat recipes, the dog is great at killing them so that's my protein sorted. I can scrump apples for the rest.

 

[Proper Tidy]

I'll be dusting off the old family rat recipes, the dog is great at killing them so that's my protein sorted. I can scrump apples for the rest.

How meaty is the dog