Should snails be required to pass a test?

[Primadonna]

Are horseriders required to pass a test?

As far as I know, no they don't. I rode a lot when I was younger, on roads and fields, and I dread to think what could have happened if the horse had bolted. Time for a new thread

Should horse riders be required to pass a test?

 

[Paulie Tandoori]

As far as I know, no they don't. I rode a lot when I was younger, on roads and fields, and I dread to think what could have happened if the horse had bolted.

Did you crap in the road though?

 

[Primadonna]

Yeah, but only cus I had a huge curry the night before and I couldn't help myself.

It really WAS an accident.

Wonder if my arse should be required to pass a test and get licensed?

 

[Paulie Tandoori]

Sounds like your arse is a major road menace to me.

 

[Primadonna]

Sounds like your arse is a major road menace to me.

Smells like it too.

Toxic waste should definitely be licensed

 

[Paulie Tandoori]

Do you find that you get followed around by snails?

*yay, thread back on track*

 

[Primadonna]

Actually no, though once when I was about 19 I shagged my bloke in the back garden, and when I got indoors I found a slug down the leg of my jeans. Does that count?

 

[Paulie Tandoori]

You should have told Marty21, he started a thread about this yesterday.

 

[teuchter]

You should have told Marty21, he started a thread about this yesterday.

and I posted this in it...
http://www.urban75.net/vbulletin/showpost.php?p=5948917&postcount=34

isn't the world just full of mysterious connections.

 

[Primadonna]

I was going to tell him to be honest, but I was afraid he might think I was insulting him

 

[Primadonna]

and I posted this in it...
http://www.urban75.net/vbulletin/showpost.php?p=5948917&postcount=34

isn't the world just full of mysterious connections.

You think my slug might have been your snail, which had been crushed by a psychotic cyclist, thereby losing his home, and due to not being licensed had no insurance and couldn't afford a new one?

 

[teuchter]

You think my slug might have been your snail, which had been crushed by a psychotic cyclist, thereby losing his home, and due to not being licensed had no insurance and couldn't afford a new one?

which part of the world were you in when the slug found its way into your trousers?

As far as I recall, my snail incident took place during a visit to Dublin. I think that once I discovered it I returned it to the garden, although I can't be sure. It may well have travelled back to the UK on the ferry with me. And if it got off on the ferry, any amount of international travel is concievable.

 

[Primadonna]

In that case, it was definitely your snail, I distinctly heard it saying "top o' the mornin' to ya" as I pulled it off the back of my leg. Obviously a very cosmopolitan snail. At that time I was living in Somerset, bet its footpad was a bit sore after all that travelling. Don't suppose you happen to know if it's name was Seamus?

 

[teuchter]

In that case, it was definitely your snail, I distinctly heard it saying "top o' the mornin' to ya" as I pulled it off the back of my leg. Obviously a very cosmopolitan snail. At that time I was living in Somerset, bet its footpad was a bit sore after all that travelling. Don't suppose you happen to know if it's name was Seamus?

Did it have the look of a weary seafarer? I do believe it may have detached itself from my trousers on the Dublin - Holyhead catamaran. Whilst making its way across deck I imagine it was whisked into the air in a gust of Irish sea air and landed upon a piece of driftwood, which due to some unusual sea currents at the time made its way around the coast of Wales and landed on a beach somewhere on the Somerset coast. I wonder where it encountered the cyclist who deprived it of its house.

I didn't ask it its name. I am not in the habit of asking snails their name. As someone has already pointed out they can change gender at will, and I don't like to get too close to creatures as fickle as that.

 

[Primadonna]

It was definitely very tired and hungry. Come to think of it I did notice a dried white deposit on its back, but didn't immediately relate it to being sea salt.

 

[teuchter]

It was definitely very tired and hungry. Come to think of it I did notice a dried white deposit on its back, but didn't immediately relate it to being sea salt.

To think that after all that journeying it had to suffer the indignity of getting caught up in your back-garden activities.

 

[Primadonna]

To think that after all that journeying it had to suffer the indignity of getting caught up in your back-garden activities.

Had he been squashed he would have ended up a hero or martyr. Poor Seamus, a snails life can be tough sometimes.