Should snails be required to pass a test?

[Primadonna]

Perhaps a license number issued and attached to their jacket would solve all the problems.

 

[Primadonna]

This particular one is IMHO a particular danger to cyclists

 

[Paulie Tandoori]

Perhaps a license number issued and attached to their jacket would solve all the problems.

The most important thing for me is a requirement for anyone, carrying out any activity in a public place, should be obliged by law to stop and provide their details to the police / anyone with reasonable grounds for requiring them if an accident / incident occurs owing to their activities. It applies to motorists but no-one else. Snails, slugs, hedgehogs etc. etc. can simply crawl away and no-one can stop them. That does nothing in achieving any just outcome.

The registration of snails is arguable both ways - a marking could be applied (I think some countries do it) but the cost-benefit analysis would need to be done before whether it was worth the cost could be assessed. I think it may be prohibitive.

 

[Primadonna]

The most important thing for me is a requirement for anyone, carrying out any activity in a public place, should be obliged by law to stop and provide their details to the police / anyone with reasonable grounds for requiring them if an accident / incident occurs owing to their activities. It applies to motorists but no-one else. Snails, slugs, hedgehogs etc. etc. can simply crawl away and no-one can stop them. That does nothing in achieving any just outcome.

The registration of snails is arguable both ways - a marking could be applied (I think some countries do it) but the cost-benefit analysis would need to be done before whether it was worth the cost could be assessed. I think it may be prohibitive.

Would the cost of training hedgehogs to microchip snails be prohibitive do you think?

 

[Primadonna]

Then they could just be scanned before they trail off.

 

[Paulie Tandoori]

I'm liking the cut of your jib, sah. Using the snail trails to track the fuckers down. That would nail 'em.

 

[Primadonna]

They deserve to be nailed. They even change gender so they can fuck each and every one of themselves. Weird fuckers.

 

[teuchter]

Would the cost of training hedgehogs to microchip snails be prohibitive do you think?

I don't think it's necessary to chip them. Just make it mandatory for them to register their home address if they intend to use the public footpath. It is always possible to follow their trail back to their house.

I think it would be cheaper to train hedgehogs to follow snail trails from accident scenes to snail residences, to note the address and refer to a central database.

The only problem would be that if the investigating hedgehog itself became involved in an accident during the course of its duties.

 

[Primadonna]

I think it would be cheaper to train hedgehogs to follow snail trails from accident scenes to snail residences, to note the address and refer to a central database.

The only problem would be that if the investigating hedgehog itself became involved in an accident during the course of its duties.

But we then run into the problem of training motorists not to squash the hedgehogs.

Perhaps this is a wake up call to lobby parliament for a hedgehog proficiency test?

 

[tastebud]

I think there's an immigration issue here

 

[guinnessdrinker]

snails should definitely be banned from public footpaths after drinking.

 

[guinnessdrinker]

snails should definitely be banned from public footpaths after drinking.

 

[teuchter]

But we then run into the problem of training motorists not to squash the hedgehogs.

Perhaps this is a wake up call to lobby parliament for a hedgehog proficiency test?

We could get retired guide dogs to accompany the hedgehogs in their duties.

 

[Primadonna]

We could get retired guide dogs to accompany the hedgehogs in their duties.

Of Course!!

Sorted.

 

[tastebud]

What about their pensions?

 

[Paulie Tandoori]

We could get retired guide dogs to accompany the hedgehogs in their duties.

what about the dog shit though eh? bet you didn't think of that. and that would just attract more snails, thus exacerbating the problem.

 

[tommers]

What about their pensions?

who? the guide dogs?

I'm more worried about the effect on the snail's house prices.

 

[guinnessdrinker]

what about the dog shit though eh? bet you didn't think of that. and that would just attract more snails, thus exacerbating the problem.

and pedestrian would slip on the dog shit now you know why there are so many involving snails

 

[teuchter]

what about the dog shit though eh? bet you didn't think of that. and that would just attract more snails, thus exacerbating the problem.

We could get unemployed people with poop scoops to accompany the dogs. It could be a condition of recieving jobseekers' allowance.

 

[tastebud]

who? the guide dogs?

I'm more worried about the effect on the snail's house prices.

yes, the guide dogs

clearly a case of the middle-classes benefiting, to the working-classes' detriment, yet again!

and what about schooling, schooling for the snails. bet none of them end up at university!

 

[Paulie Tandoori]

and pedestrian would slip on the dog shit now you know why there are so many involving snails

Precisely, which only goes to strengthen my argument that snails should be tested and registered, It would then be much less likely that they would be involved in an accident and easier to Identify them if they are.

 

[Paulie Tandoori]

We could get unemployed people with poop scoops to accompany the dogs. It could be a condition of recieving jobseekers' allowance.

LOL

 

[teuchter]

Actually thinking about it we should let the dogs shit here and there, as this would be an incentive for pedestrians to look where they're going and ultimately this would save snail lives.

 

[guinnessdrinker]

We could get unemployed people with poop scoops to accompany the dogs. It could be a condition of recieving jobseekers' allowance.

it's going to be very crowded with all these pedestrians, snails, dogs, jobseekers and what have you. but hold on, if the jobseekers get involved in snails accidents, won't it be a way of reducing the dole count?

are you John Hutton?

 

[goldenecitrone]

and what about schooling, schooling for the snails. bet none of them end up at university!

I went to university with a snail now you mention it. He was quite shy at first but after copious amounts of booze and drugs he really came out of his shell. As he came from a working class background anyway we all chipped in to buy him a shellsuit. Now he's working for a global oil company. BP.

 

[teuchter]

it's going to be very crowded with all these pedestrians, snails, dogs, jobseekers and what have you.

you forgot the hedgehogs.

but hold on, if the jobseekers get involved in snails accidents, won't it be a way of reducing the dole count?

are you John Hutton?

You've seen through my plan.

I thought the hedgehogs etc. would distract everyone from the real intention of my proposals. I'll have to try dressing it up some other way.

Here we go:

http://www.urban75.net/vbulletin/showthread.php?p=5951884#post5951884

 

[Paulie Tandoori]

it's going to be very crowded with all these pedestrians, snails, dogs, jobseekers and what have you. but hold on, if the jobseekers get involved in snails accidents, won't it be a way of reducing the dole count?

are you John Hutton?

Gawd help us all if a c*clist turned up as well

 

[guinnessdrinker]

Gawd help us all if a c*clist turned up as well

or a horserider adding more crap to the road.

 

[teuchter]

or a horserider adding more crap to the road.

Are horseriders required to pass a test?

 

[teuchter]

or a horserider adding more crap to the road.

isn't it usually the horse that adds crap to the road?