Should mrs ii quit her job?
- Thread starter ill-informed
- Start date
Thora
Differently Ethical
it does make me laugh that it's alright for your lady to look after other peoples kids though
Mothers should look after their own babies, unless they're paying my wife to do it.
ill-informed
passive aggressive master
Look, the baby is not even 6 months. It should be with its mother being breast fed and comforted. It's so completely obvious i don't why i'm having to explain it. And no other father has been more involved in the upbringing and has a better relationship than i have with my 3 year old. So there 
And do i have double standards? other people can do what they want. i don't see why i should have a problem with my wife looking after other peoples kids. And she wouldn't be looking after babies anyway, you're only allowed 1 baby in total.
And do i have double standards? other people can do what they want. i don't see why i should have a problem with my wife looking after other peoples kids. And she wouldn't be looking after babies anyway, you're only allowed 1 baby in total.
sheothebudworths
Up the bum - no babies!!!
Missez
Britisher Abroad
Look, the baby is not even 6 months. It should be with its mother being breast fed and comforted. It's so completely obvious i don't why i'm having to explain it. And no other father has been more involved in the upbringing and has a better relationship than i have with my 3 year old. So there
And do i have double standards? other people can do what they want. i don't see why i should have a problem with my wife looking after other peoples kids. And she wouldn't be looking after babies anyway, you're only allowed 1 baby in total.
Perhaps the preschool would allow your wife to work part-time? In which case wife gets some time at her dream job and baby gets time with it's mother.
ill-informed
passive aggressive master
its part time anyway
LilMissHissyFit
Disturbed in a pink bra
She is very busy btw.
then maybe she should consider spending some time sorting her babys feeding... before it winds up malnourished if you think its hungry- it probably is!
ill-informed
passive aggressive master
as i said, she wouldn't be looking after babies anyway, and with older children it's fine, after all our 3 year old has been part time in childcare for ages.'Other people', with the exception of your wife?
ill-informed
passive aggressive master
the baby gets fed properly.
ill-informed
passive aggressive master
if i had a pound.....
1927
Funnier than he thinks he is.
if i had a pound.....
You'd spend it on childcare?
1927
Funnier than he thinks he is.
I've just thought this through again.
Your wife is on SMP, so is being paid to stay at home and look after your child. Instead she is going out to work all day for nothing and getting your mother to look after the baby.Mmmmm.
I think you might be getting a raw deal off the posters on here mate, sound slike mrs ii is being selfish to say the least. Now I understand your anger!
eta. Just checked and what mrs ii is doing will lead to her losing her smp if anyone finds out. You can only work for the employer paying your SMP, as soon as you do any work for anyone else your SMP stops.
Your wife is on SMP, so is being paid to stay at home and look after your child. Instead she is going out to work all day for nothing and getting your mother to look after the baby.Mmmmm.
I think you might be getting a raw deal off the posters on here mate, sound slike mrs ii is being selfish to say the least. Now I understand your anger!
eta. Just checked and what mrs ii is doing will lead to her losing her smp if anyone finds out. You can only work for the employer paying your SMP, as soon as you do any work for anyone else your SMP stops.
ill-informed
passive aggressive master
I'm not angry
It's only part time so not all day.
She's working voluntary until the SMP stops, that's ok isn't it?
And thank god someone is on my side
I don't neccesarily have a problem with my mum looking after her, she is family and it will be good for her to have a relationship with her youngest grandchild whilst she's still around. The problem is that its too much with her current health.
I do have a problem with her going to a childminder as she's too young, it may be bad for her emotional development and its money that would be better spent on food etc.
And although i'm happy to look after her when i can, i can't say what days i have free, for example today i just got offered a block paving job and that will keep me busy for a few weeks, i already have certain days tied up with going to my regular customers.
1927
Funnier than he thinks he is.
The SMP thing is dodgy I reckon. At the end of the day she is being paid by her employer to stay at home to look after her baby, but she's not doing that is she? She's working for someone else for free so that they'll give her a job when her SMP runs out as she doesn't want to return to her original employer. As an employer I'd be seriosuly pissed off if someone did that to me, and can you honestly say that she is being fair to her current employer!
sheothebudworths
Up the bum - no babies!!!
But you won't have the extra money to spend on either a childminder OR food if she doesn't work.
It seems to me that it's your job that's causing difficulties, not hers.
The irregular days etc.
So it'd be fair enough for her to 'suggest' that you stop working/change jobs, eh?
weepiper
I fix the machines that fight climate change
Her previous employer has a duty to pay SMP whether or not she chooses to return to that job when it runs out.
ill-informed
passive aggressive master
The government pays the SMP anyway.
Me quitting or changing jobs isn't a good idea as i've probably invested about £10,000 over the last few years in the truck and tools. And besides there isn't any jobs.
Me quitting or changing jobs isn't a good idea as i've probably invested about £10,000 over the last few years in the truck and tools. And besides there isn't any jobs.
1927
Funnier than he thinks he is.
I know that, but as soon as she does ANY work for another employer that duty ceases!
weepiper
I fix the machines that fight climate change
Nope. Any PAID work.
ill-informed
passive aggressive master
But you won't have the extra money to spend on either a childminder OR food if she doesn't work.
But as a childminder she could in theory earn £10/hour. All the setting up has been done, she's done all the risk assesments, i've modified the garden a bit, so once the certificate comes through she can start taking kids in. It's not ideal as i'd rather other peoples kids weren't here all the time, but it's a way of her earning while the baby is so young, afterwards she can get any job she wants, although the pre-school job will probably not be there and that's the problem.
1927
Funnier than he thinks he is.
Seems to me mrs ii is having her cake and eating it, and as ii has said he's the main earner so anything he gives up will result in less income!
dessiato
4 years and I still cry sometimes
Taking that attitude towards your wife is much more likely to lead to the divorce court than to a long and continuing marrige.
You really need to talk to your wife about the situation and LISTEN to her and what she would like, then you can start to find a compromise that works for the advantage of all of you.
Telling your wife what to do went out with the dark ages, and certainly is not an appropriate way to treat an adult.
weepiper
I fix the machines that fight climate change
by, God forbid, having a child AND a fulfilling job.
ill-informed
passive aggressive master
I wouldn't tell her what to do (she wouldn't do it anyway
), but i will say what i think and then i will listen to her. I think my opening post should have been worded differently, i should know better by now. I didn't start this thread as a substitute for discussing this with her as we've discussed it loads of times, even before she started the job. I put the thread up as i was sure everyone would see my point of view and realise that she has no choice other than quitting the job and concentrating on becoming a childminder, then i was going to show her this thread and she'd finally see reason, but now i daren't show her...
Thora
Differently Ethical
Poor woman only wants to work part time! And it's her DREAM JOB! She probably just wants a few hours a week away from looking after the baby, not to stay at home and look after other people's children too.
Can't you reduce your outgoings a bit so she can work and the baby go to a childminder? Surely having a tighter budget is worth having a happier wife.
I also think £10 an hour profit is very ambitious for a new childminder.
Can't you reduce your outgoings a bit so she can work and the baby go to a childminder? Surely having a tighter budget is worth having a happier wife.
I also think £10 an hour profit is very ambitious for a new childminder.
