Should I have said something?

[moon]

Errr...I disagree....sometimes saying nothing is collusion...especially when it impacts on you and makes you uncomfortable.

Yes thats what I thought too, but have since spoken to a co-worker who told me not to say anything, she has been working for the company for 30 years and says she constantly hears racist comments from staff and it really upsets her.
However her dad used to be a union rep for another industry and had to deal with lots of incidents of this nature and his advice to her was to say nothing because it wont help in anyway, nothing gets done about it and it just creates animosity.

I found that quite shocking to be honest but can see his point.

 

[madamv]

I think I would have said something along the lines of 'I dont find your comment amusing'.

I have been on the receiving end of many a 'joke' that I felt disgusting or prejudiced and clearly told the bosses and co workers that I dont like that sort of talk and asked them not to do it in front of me. The same goes for joke texts.

It worked and in the office where I worked, where the boss/staff relationship was more formal, the boss blushed and apologised. I never heard anything again.

In the more relaxed environment I work now, my colleagues will say things like 'I didnt send you that text Vic' or 'Oh, hold on, Vicki's in the room', and genuinely hold their tongue.

It hasnt affected our relationships, they just know that I dont approve and monitor their behaviour in front of me.

If you dont stand up for what you believe is right, what do you stand for? No song and dance needed, just clear and firm toned 'Not on my watch' attitude.

 

[moon]

What sort of things were being said?

 

[AnnO'Neemus]

I think I would have said something like: Sorry, I'm a bit slow on the uptake with jokes sometimes, I don't get that one, can you explain it to me?

But then that's true, I am sometimes a bit slow to get jokes, because I have a habit of taking things literally.

Getting them to explain it would hopefully have led them to reflect on it, which would have led them to understanding it was inappropriate.

There are ways of challenging thought patterns and behaviours without being hostile.