Discussion in 'education & employment' started by Orang Utan, Nov 15, 2017.
A man who aspires to a Ford Probe is a man doing aspiration all wrong.
I didn't have a clue about cars then and still don't - it didn't look all that though
My past returns to haunt me....
I had a few of these at uni. The worst was a company called Wallcote but I didn't really get started. I did the training which was a couple of days in a hotel next to Luton airport. It was straightforward hard selling but we were trained as "surveyors" rather than salesmen and encouraged to rip pieces off people's walls and lie to them about the causes of wear and tear to their property. The idea was to sell some hideous coating for their house which probably instantly wiped 50% off the property's value. I did the training, went home afterwards and never bothered turning up for work.
I did a one-off job for a girlfriend's uncle which involved stuffing fifty thousand US dollars into the pockets of a coat and taking it from London to Madrid. Fuck knows how he convinced me to do that but he said it wasn't illegal and I'd just have to fill out a load of paperwork if I got searched at customs. And I believed him. When the bloke in Madrid gave me and the girlfriend $1000 each off one of the rolls it started to sink in that I'd probably just done something really stupid.
Then I spent 20 odd years working for investment banks and found out what real scamming was.
They tried to get lines with every bank in the city and got laughed at. I was at BoNY and met two of their directors who didn’t seem to have a clue what they were doing and I think offered me a bribe, though I can't be sure of that. Nobody was surprised when they set up that Danish outfit and nobody was surprised when they got busted.
Unless you were contracted to the agency, which is highly unlikely in this case, it won't have been them trying to keep the money. They wouldn't have anything to do with the clients payroll.
Yeah, I kind of figured that. But maybe, just maybe, the client might have told the agency "nah, we're not paying you or the agency worker for that week". Unlikely, but who knows what shitty ideas go through people's heads.
That's some Christmas Do.
2.80 a minute Phone line compertition. Handing out flyers with my father one of many business ideas he had. Prize was a bike 500-650cc full racing green.
Some 6 weeks later and about 400-500 calls plus cash companies pay for lists of people intrested in selling bike parts/gear etc.
He made a good profit, as my uncle also entred the comp and won the bike, which turned out was just a picture anyway.
Call centre: Cordant for Prolog...
Cordant totally failed to pay me for weeks after this shitty call centre job ended. In the end I had to threaten to turn up to their payroll office in person and complain.
Worked in a pub/nightclub in smalltown Scotland back in the day. The owner had another five or six similar places in similar type towns.
He was accompanied everywhere at all times by two heavies and, as I'm sure you can imagine, we were all hugely surprised when it turned out he was involved in lots of dodgy stuff and fucked off to Spain.
(I'd stopped working there shortly before but the staff turned up one day to find it locked and no money for their wages and various ripped off suppliers/debt collectors outside. Strangely enough he also didn't leave his wife for one of the barmaids as promised but that's another story.)
One gets slightly nostalgic
I went to an interview like that. I thought it was telesales (which is bad enough but I was desperate) and it was door to door. You had to go out with them for the morning then get the bus back to the office for an interview. One of the blokes I was shadowing had fucked up my energy switch a few months earlier and I told him I recognised him and that he was shit, got the bus fare off him and went home.
I’ve had some awful and dodgy jobs. Worst were the mortgage companies. The first one I worked for were a sub-prime broker and they would get a mortgage for literally anyone. I feel awful now as I probably helped (in a small way) get a lot of people into awful debt they couldn’t manage but I was young, stupid and really needed a job. Both firms went bust when the economy went tits up, I hope the directors got fuck all.
I also got a door to door job selling Candis magazine when I was 15. The bloke (in his 50s) didn’t ask how old I was, took me out a couple of times selling with him then made a pass at me. I can’t remember how I got out of that one.
After several jobs in finance and selling when I was younger I decided I wasn’t willing to do anything like that again and I’ve been skint ever since but with a cleaner conscience.
My mates used to work for zenith. One of them was sacked by them several times but they always took her back because they couldn’t keep staff.
I know someone who went to prison for taking backhanders like that woman was proposing. And he only took £15k before getting caught.
Driving the top cheeses of Halliburton around Iraq
And fortnightly suitcases full of payroll dollars (80k)
A sound mum.
Mid-eighties, I worked in a prominent pub between Covent Garden and Leicester Square. The drip trays were emptied into a bucket, which in turn was emptied into a barrel. This was then sold as "Scotch Ale" or something like that. If anyone complained about the beer, we were taught to say "it's Scottish real ale - it's meant to taste like that. "
I worked for a shady IT company run by a Swiss resident, dodgy as fuck Iranian guy who wore blue velvet suits and had his eyebrows tattooed in. Money was being borrowed from Syrian and Lebanese sources. The head of marketing was an obese New Yorker with a serious coke habit morning noon and night. Brilliant, though, as the whole thing was so badly run we had a free run with expenses. Ahh, pre crash.
This thread is one of those that *makes* urban.
My mate got away with paying no electricity or gas bills due to this aggressive technique.
Everytime one came to the door or phoned he would sign up to them, after a few years of ignoring bills from loads of utility companies, he was dragged into court and he produced a ream of bills from multiple companies with the excuse of 'well you tell me which one of these I should pay?'.
After a stern talking to about the folly of signing up to everything that was offered, he ended up paying nothing.
He knew what he was doing though.
So what’d you get offered to deliver them up somewhere in the desert?
I am told there was a pub near the Glasgow Fruit Market (Blochairn ?) - which kept market hours , and sold for the cogniscenti , a pint of slops - for around 20p ........just thought I would share this gem. "Recycling" I suppose.
I once worked on Stuart Hall's corporate It's a knock-out sideline
I did a couple of jobs for International Cocaine Importers R Us
Didn't end well tbf
I used to work for a certain brexity chain that did that, it still sold at 99p a pint.
I called people up for years offering them free insulation. It wasn't a total scam because they could get free insulation if they had a suitable property. At the start, though, the department was extremely chaotic and had this sales-dept philosophy of 'just get appointments on the board'. So you booked whatever you could justify booking even though you're pretty sure their property can't get insulation (wrong type of walls etc).
You could book every other person you spoke to by making them think they were getting free insulation, and just not checking anything too rigorously. This was encouraged by management because the surveyors for this energy company also double up as salespeople, so once they're at the house they can try to upsell the boiler or switch the energy supply.
Later on they sorted that department out and introduced lots of checks to make sure surveyors were going to suitable properties. Who knew that you can just look at a house on google maps and see what sort of walls they have. Prior to that all you had to say is 'so are all the bricks on your wall the same length, yeah?' in a really leading manner, and if the customer agreed you could tick the box indicating they have a cavity wall and book the appointment.
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