Shady companies you have worked for (or not)

Discussion in 'education & employment' started by Orang Utan, Nov 15, 2017.

  1. Orang Utan

    Orang Utan Sub-Sub-Librarian

    they were selling toiletries and household items and encouraging me to sign up family members and friends
  2. DotCommunist

    DotCommunist specter haunting

    I remember warning ma off of one of these schemes that was being sold as a womens investment circle. They'd gulled someone she trusts enough at church to take it seriously for a while but after mansplaining me saying 'this sounds a hell of a lot like a pyramid scheme' she reconsidered left off. And indeed, when the music stopped there were people left without a chair. The idea can be dressed loads of ways
  3. Silas Loom

    Silas Loom The people have spoken, the bastards.

    The latter is common to all of them. Household goods is a very Amway thing, though. Particularly cleaning products.
    Orang Utan likes this.
  4. Thimble Queen

    Thimble Queen Sparkly cat whisperer

    I did the same job. It was my first job before I left school :facepalm: I was actually quite good at the job and ended up getting loads of bonus and commission payments. I quit in the end when I realised they were ripping old ladies off, doing bodge jobs and generally fucking people over :mad:
    DotCommunist likes this.
  5. Orang Utan

    Orang Utan Sub-Sub-Librarian

    My brother once went door-to-door attempting to flog framed aerial photos of people's houses. He never sold any.
  6. Silas Loom

    Silas Loom The people have spoken, the bastards.

    It bloody should be. The arts of the home improvement canvasser are similar to those of the fraudster, the short conner, the distraction thief. It's not a brilliant idea to inculcate these in juvenile offenders. Were these Staybrite folk benefiting from an official offending-to-work scheme of some kind?
  7. Poot

    Poot Everyone's a superhero, everyone's a Captain Kirk

    I used to work in media sales.

    That is all.
    A380, AverageJoe and emanymton like this.
  8. Orang Utan

    Orang Utan Sub-Sub-Librarian

    is that selling advertising?
  9. Poot

    Poot Everyone's a superhero, everyone's a Captain Kirk

    Yep. In magazines that no one wanted. I dread to think of the amount of deforestation I had a hand in.
    Orang Utan likes this.
  10. Silas Loom

    Silas Loom The people have spoken, the bastards.

    It's okay. They printed far fewer than you claimed on the phone and in the media pack. It's quite possible that no trees were hurt at all.
  11. Orang Utan

    Orang Utan Sub-Sub-Librarian

    ah, an ex did that - calling up bosses (or at least trying to get through to them) to sell them space in Chinese coal-mining business magazines. Joyous.
    Poot likes this.
  12. Voley

    Voley Knees Up Mother Earth

    A bloke came round my Mum's house with some aerial photos of her place once. She wasn't interested but said one of our neighbours might be. As soon as he left she got on the blower to them to tell them to buy all the photos/negatives of their place as the small weed farm in their polytunnel was clear in just about every photo. :D
  13. rubbershoes

    rubbershoes not the only raver in the village

    Worked for a law firm in London who asked me to draft a contract about funding litigation. Under it the person funding the litigation would have been entitled to some of the proceeds.

    As you've spotted, this would be champertous, which was illegal at the time.

    I pointed this out and was told to make the contract subject to the laws of Kenya, where apparently champerty was legal. Couldn't do that as I know nothing about Kenyan law.

    If I'd done that, maybe now I'd be working from my Cayman-registered yacht, advising the 1% which jurisdiction to hide their money in
  14. Sweet FA

    Sweet FA ✪ Three rounds Lord, in my .44 ✪

    And it's been going so long too. In the early 90s my girlfriend at the time dragged me to someone's house in Basildon to watch, rictus-grinned, as a husband & wife team stumbled through a half hour presentation dragged out to 2 hours on a wet Wednesday evening, miles from home. They were being trained by some other guy who didn't say much but sat in the corner of the room silently encouraging them throughout the interminable event. There was a lot of flicking through scripts and awkward silences when they forgot whose turn it was to speak.

    I still feel tense remembering the bit where they cleaned a 2p coin in some miracle product. After the bloke dropped the coin in the glass of miracle fluid, nobody said anything. Not a word. We just sat there in silence, watching the coin fizz.
  15. Saul Goodman

    Saul Goodman It's all good, man

    Awkward silences are part of the training.
  16. Silas Loom

    Silas Loom The people have spoken, the bastards.

    Tee. Hee, even.
  17. planetgeli

    planetgeli There's no future in England's dreaming

    Mentioned before in the “what’s the largest amount of cash you’ve ever seen” thread.

    Worked for a, erm, ‘tight violin’ company in ‘events’, who dealt, in my sphere, entirely in cash in carrier bags.

    (Because we were working near the Thames) “I wanna boat. Give me 12 grand”.

    Made sure it worked for me too. But not as much as it worked for them. And still does.
    A380 likes this.
  18. pogofish

    pogofish Testicle Hairstyle

    The day two guys from Raytheon took me for a very nice lunch is some kind of a personal low.

    Or the job I did for another poster here who shall remain nameless.

    And the time in the 1980s when I walked into a BNFL recruitment event and jokingly inquired about a job in PR - They more or less said "When can you start" there and then!
    likesfish, Dr. Furface and A380 like this.
  19. Orang Utan

    Orang Utan Sub-Sub-Librarian

    What's a tight violin?
  20. planetgeli

    planetgeli There's no future in England's dreaming

    Something beyond your cryptic powers obviously.
    A380 likes this.
  21. Silas Loom

    Silas Loom The people have spoken, the bastards.

    Oh, well done.
    planetgeli likes this.
  22. Borp

    Borp remember

    I had an interview with one of those type of companies. Very very strange. I then looked into them a little bit. They operate on almost a cult basis, and are set up in huge chains of similar 'businesses'. Full of strange rules, jargon, and weird apprentice style fake go-getting bullshit.
    Basically they're total scams. How a) they're not closed down, and b) the companies that sell through them (phone, tv, insurance, whatever) aren't shamed for it, c) how they actually make any money other than not paying the people that work for them, is beyond me.
    muscovyduck and Bahnhof Strasse like this.
  23. planetgeli

    planetgeli There's no future in England's dreaming

    Do you fancy being my psychiatrist when I need one? You’re very good at spotting things from my unconscious mind. :)
  24. wiskey

    wiskey Albatross Admirer

    Derv and I had a (genuinely) amusing few hours being pressure-sold timeshare a few years ago, we didn't have two beans between us so we knew it was a non-starter and just played along. Shady fuckers they were, we said things like 'we'd love to but we'd have to sell the car' and they almost suggested a car dealership :mad: no scruples! It was sad to see people signing up though as the sales team rushed us out of the door once they realised we weren't going to bite.
    muscovyduck and Sweet FA like this.
  25. Orang Utan

    Orang Utan Sub-Sub-Librarian

    I googled it n all :(
  26. FridgeMagnet

    FridgeMagnet Administrator

    I got a job when I was 18; turns out they were exploiting the surplus value of my labour :( been downhill from there tbh :(
  27. A380

    A380 How do I change this 'custom title' thing then?

    Always public sector (34 years). But that’s another thread entirely.
    Plumdaff and Spymaster like this.
  28. MadeInBedlam

    MadeInBedlam Arm the mentally ill

    Done some work for the NHS (ie for an NHS Trust). Shady fuckers indeed
  29. 1927

    1927 Funnier than he thinks he is.

  30. Jon-of-arc

    Jon-of-arc Fully self-actualised

    Did a week's temping in a hellish "outsource" call centre (ie one that would do various call centre jobs for other companies - there was a vauxhall repairs line, a couple of product recalls for companies that otherwise didn't need a full time call centre, stuff like that), about this time last year. It was a temp to perm position, but I was offered something that looked marginally less hellish, and gave my notice after a week. Said "I know I'm still training, so I don't want to waste your time - if you don't want me to work my notice, that's no problem from my end...", just to get out of there ASAP.

    Anyway, it got to payday and no money had gone into my bank. Called the agency, who said "Oh yes, they were a bit upset that you didn't stick with the role when you said in your interview you were really keen on it, so they aren't paying you". When I explained calmly that as well as being fully aware that this was illegal I was also in a small but pretty radical union who would relish this sort of fight, and would protest not just outside the agency's office, not just outside the call centre's office, but outside the call centre's clients' offices, that i personally wouldn't put up with it in a million years on general principle, and that, in the end, they will definitely end up paying me, she suddenly changed tack and said "Oh, well, don't do anything rash, please. Let me call them back again and see what I can do...".

    Took them another two weeks, cheeky fuckers. I'm pretty sure it was actually the agency trying to hold back the cash, although not sure. They were fairly small, and the call centre had at least 50 employees, most of whom were permanent.

    The agency called me about 2 weeks ago, to discuss a role. Told them flat out I wouldn't work with them again.

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