schools, paranoia, is this normal??

[_angel_]

WTF? The more I read about schools in this country on here the happier I am about the high chance of mine being educated in Oz...in the same school I can just about understand, but the same class? What a load of bollocks...

It's a special school , not that makes it alright, don't get me started in the carry on I had finding a place for him ANYWHERE in Leeds among similarly aged and levelled peers.

I'm not going to kick off I just think if they thought it was *that* serious someone would have called.

As it is the school escort couldn't see/ didn't know a thing about this 'huge scratch' that simply wasn't there at home time. FWIW I think it's a tiny red chafe mark from his school collar, nothing more.

It's microscopic that's why I can't understand the fuss and am worried about what will happen next time as kids do get scratches and bruises on 'em.

I think it happened at school, I would have seen it in the shower had it occured at home.

Just pissed a bit that he's more likely to get whacked senseless at school and nobody seems to notice.



The camera idea is a good un and if I had a digi camera I would well have taken a photo by now. But I don't have one.

 

[Sweaty Betty]

that initial reaction may be why they don't phone. a letter gives you a chance to calm down and respond differently.

It's also a practical thing. I often don't have time to phone. Sending a letter can be done from my classroom at an odd moment - to phone means a trip to the office, and so many times the number doesn't work, or blocks calls if the number is witheld (as it is, automatically, from the school). If I don't get a response immediately on the phone, it goes back on my 'to do' list, and may - if it's a minor concern - end up not happening. A letter takes a couple of mins and then it's done.

The other thing is that sending a letter creates a paper trail - this sounds like the school has a policy to avoid them being to blame if abuse is detected later - proof that they raised initial concerns at a minor stage. They can't prove they phoned, or what was said.

I would never get pissed off with a phonecall, its just polite, if i was unhappy at what they were addressing, id suggest coming to the school to discuss it in person.......just a letter is piss poor and as for paper trail, make the call first and alert person to the fact of a letter being sent as well!!!

its hardly rocket science,its common courtesy...

 

[Sweaty Betty]

Computer will be in the classroom, the phone more than likely won't.

sorry spangles thats a piss poor excuse...are you a teacher by any chance?

 

[kyser_soze]

I would never get pissed off with a phonecall, its just polite, if i was unhappy at what they were addressing, id suggest coming to the school to discuss it in person.......just a letter is piss poor and as for paper trail, make the call first and alert person to the fact of a letter being sent as well!!!

Right, so all your blustering about 'letting rip' in the above posts was femcho bollocks then? Your reaction wouldn't be to start shouting down the phone about how dare the school accuse you of abusing your kid and what fucking right do they have etc etc?

 

[Sweaty Betty]

Right, so all your blustering about 'letting rip' in the above posts was femcho bollocks then? Your reaction wouldn't be to start shouting down the phone about how dare the school accuse you of abusing your kid and what fucking right do they have etc etc?

no it wouldnt, i aint no chav or no bloody femcho thank you!

my initial thoughts on receiving such a crass letter to my later actions would be very different as i mentioned..........

 

[kyser_soze]

no it wouldnt, i aint no chav or no bloody femcho thank you!

my initial thoughts on receiving such a crass letter to my later actions would be very different as i mentioned..........

So if someone called you, they would be listening to your first reactions, no? Unless they call, you don't say anything for 10 mins until you've chilled, and then pick the phone up?

Impressed that you got femcho too...it's probably been used before, but I just thunked it...

 

[rioted]

I would never get pissed off with a phonecall, its just polite,...

So how are you polite to people without phones? And have you ANY idea at all how long teachers spend phoning and re-phoning those who've lost or canged their phone, gave a wrong number or have absolutely no intention of answering a phonecall from school?

 

[Sweaty Betty]

So if someone called you, they would be listening to your first reactions, no? Unless they call, you don't say anything for 10 mins until you've chilled, and then pick the phone up?

NO

i already said i would welcome a phonecall, so why would i kick off??

Its not the fact of WHAT they have to say, its how theyve relayed it which bothers me......

ive already said i have no problem with the school bringing ANYTHING to my attention where it concerns my daughter, so please stop assuming, i've made myself perfectly clear

 

[Sweaty Betty]

So how are you polite to people without phones? And have you ANY idea at all how long teachers spend phoning and re-phoning those who've lost or canged their phone, gave a wrong number or have absolutely no intention of answering a phonecall from school?

I'll ignore that first question

i can imagine the drama of getting parents to be involved in kids schooling, but not all of us are as unreliable as to not keep the school informed of such an important thing like contact numbers....

anyway if non- contact is the case, a letter asking the parents to come to the school to discuss a matter would be a far better option...no?

 

[catinthehat]

Maybe they were just trying to work out if it had happened at school and thus needed to check it out - they are under an obligation to do so. Anything that is sensitive or could be misconstrued the school will be more likely to deal with by letter as some parents might think they are being accused and a letter would be clear and have the benefit of being re read not to mention evidence of what has actually been stated.

I think that people assume that all parents are like them and would give school contact details etc - far from the truth in many cases.

Teachers frequently have no choice in the actions they take, they are micro managed to the point of obsession. Somewhere there will be a parent saying bloody school, my child came home with a mark and they didnt contact me about it, bloody teachers etc. There is such a moral panic about child safety these days its not surprising that there are over reactions - our risk analysis is out of whack - marks = child abuse, chatting to a grown up = paedophile.

 

[feyr]

i work in a special school with very vulnerable teenagers. if any of them come back from home with any marks, we have to ring up the parents and ask where it came from. this is recorded in that days records, and the accident book. most of the time, parents give explanations that sound palusible such as it was due to a fall, a health problem, clothes rubbing etc. occasionally a parent wont sound that convincing. in that case, it is flagged to a child protection officer who then looks back through all entries involving that child. similarly, if a child gets an injury or even a near miss when they are at school or their residential house, we have to record it, inform parents and inform child protection.

it may seem like a lot of fuss when the reality probably is that it is a perfectly innocent injury, but if a pattern emerges then it may be more serious.

eta: i dont understand how your son is in the same class as an 11 year old though we arent allowed to have mixed aged classes, even when the students are similar ability

 

[_angel_]

i work in a special school with very vulnerable teenagers. if any of them come back from home with any marks, we have to ring up the parents and ask where it came from. this is recorded in that days records, and the accident book. most of the time, parents give explanations that sound palusible such as it was due to a fall, a health problem, clothes rubbing etc. occasionally a parent wont sound that convincing. in that case, it is flagged to a child protection officer who then looks back through all entries involving that child. similarly, if a child gets an injury or even a near miss when they are at school or their residential house, we have to record it, inform parents and inform child protection.

it may seem like a lot of fuss when the reality probably is that it is a perfectly innocent injury, but if a pattern emerges then it may be more serious.

There was and remains no injury. There could not have been a scratch mark that completely vanished in a matter of hours! That's why I think whatever they were referring to simply must have been a pressure mark. All I can see are a few slightly pink spots on his neck (that I had to hunt for btw) No scratch, no broken skin, no bruises. Simple pressure/ rub mark.

On the other hand my other son at another special school has scratched his own face and has a weird bruise on his jaw (I think it must have happened at school) I have no idea how this occurred and am worrying now they'll get as hysterical as my younger sons school are.

I have written in the book I want to come and talk to the teacher ASAP. I feel I don't know all that much about my youngest's schools and procedures whereas I know the eldests school quite well now.

I want also to see if I can talk to one of the nurses, because the next time they suspect he is 'injured' I'd like them to run it by someone medically trained, who would be able to spot the difference between a 'scratch' that entails broken skin and a simple fucking pressure mark.

'Scratches' do NOT vanish entirely in a matter of hours.

Fucking nuts it really is.

eta: i dont understand how your son is in the same class as an 11 year old though we arent allowed to have mixed aged classes, even when the students are similar ability

No. It's a fuck up. Leeds have really fucked up provision for the younger age autistic kids this year. I went about a dozen schools. The one I really wanted is not funded enough to support him. They fucked up.


ETA: If there really was an 'injury' I would of course understand this, the point is, there fucking isn't anything there. At all.

 

[Cloo]

It sounds like a pretty poor way of dealing with any concern to me. But I would remain calm when dealing with them. I wouldn't get into any discussions about whether it was a 'big scratch' or not - that's liable to take things off in the wrong direction.

The issue here is that you were made to feel anxious and upset by the letter, and you'd like an explaination of whether this is usual school protocol, and if so, perhaps it needs rethinking.

 

[_angel_]

I think I'll go in next week (the earliest time they can give me). Looking at his neck now, it looks like excema/ a skin irritation.

They really should be able to differentiate between that and an injury.