I’d disagree, Pickman’s. It all starts at home – I become more and more convinced of this by the stuff I read in the editing work I do in education and early learning. My reckoning is that a lot of it starts with a simple enough mistake – parents thinking ‘My kids not going to be like all the others round here – they have no discipline. So I’m going to be really strict and tell my child off all the time so they’ll not be naughty’.
Child grows up – the slightest misdemeanour, even things that are accidents, attract shouting, recrimination, disproportionate punishment. So the child learns that authority is always unjust, is against you and that there’s no point behaving, you’ll get punished anyway. They don’t get much praise or support and they grow up thinking they’re a bad person. Also, young children are often not being ‘naughty’ when they say, draw on a wall, break something while playing around with it – they’re often just being curious, trying out how things work. If they grow up being treated as though they are ‘wrong’ and ‘bad’ and being punished excessively just for being curious – is it any wonder such a child isn’t interested in finding stuff out and is resistant to discipline.
Now, I guess some people might say ‘But we didn’t have this kind of behaviour in the past when discipline was harsher and there wasn’t any gubbins about self-esteem’ – well, a) I’d dispute there wasn’t any bad behaviour and b) more interestingly, the rules of society were different. It was made clear to children that they were the subjects of adults and had to obey them and didn’t have any rights etc. Of course, that wasn’t good, but the payoff for giving children more freedom to have opinions and generally in life is that they need sensitive boundaries more than ever. And those, a lot of kids now are not getting. Why now, I don’t know – more stress and less time to devote to the fine nuances of childcare, perhaps.
It takes a critical mass of kids like this and then others around them, by secondary age, will get dragged into their behaviour.