Say Hello To East London's New Nursery Assistant

[flimsier]

I'm gonna teach them to love drum n bass, cats and good food and when they're older I'll teach them to skin up

<Cutnpastes email to all nurseries in East London.>

 

[SubZeroCat]

Thanks for the advice spanglechick

<kicks flimsier>

 

[flimsier]

<adds "and this is what she does when slightly annoyed" to email>

 

[Streathamite]

I can't help feeling that this a case of blind-leading-the-blind....
no, seriously, I think you may well be rather good at this. You seem to have the manner to put the little sods at ease

 

[SubZeroCat]

I can't help feeling that this a case of blind-leading-the-blind....

I'm sure I can handle a bunch of toddlers. I hope. Err........

 

[silentNate]

I think we should let szc get some practice by eating really sticky toffee with our fingers and pulling at her sleeve every three minutes burbling saliva over her clothes

 

[SubZeroCat]

I think we should let szc get some practice by eating really sticky toffee with our fingers and pulling at her sleeve every three minutes burbling saliva over her clothes

Yes but I wouldn't let the kids in my care eat sticky toffee would I now? Apple slices and carrot sticks and hands to be washed/snotty noses to be cleaned afterwards!

 

[zenie]

Well done honey this is just what you needed.

Dont really like kids except my neices and nephews but yeah all as has been said above.

never swear, or get angry, or cry (they think they've won)

 

[foamy]

it's true, the noise will never stop.

and if you want some really good advice watch supernanny!

get 'em in the naughty corner

 

[LDR]

Excellent news.

If you can deal with me drunk, toddlers will be a doddle.

Do you want to go to What's Cookin' tonight to celebrate?

 

[kea]

If you can deal with me drunk, toddlers will be a doddle.

this is probably very true!!

 

[OriginalSinner]

Yeah, that's right. They're putting *me* in charge of little kids

I'm going in tomorrow for my first/trial day and we'll see how it goes from there... (been unemployed for 3 months!!)

I discussed nutrition for children with the managers and they told me that if they do basic healthy eating classes I could get involved and even advise the parents

Let's hope they don't decide I'm crap!

Can anyone gimme tips on how to work with little kiddies?

Well done!

 

[SubZeroCat]

this is probably very true!!

Indeed!

LDR - why the hell not? I feel like drinking, I've been up and down (emotionally) all day! Are you still at work btw? When are you getting home? I really fancy a fatty boombatty

 

[goldenecitrone]

If you can deal with me drunk, toddlers will be a doddle.

Don't listen to him SZC. Never give toddlers any booze. What a waste!

 

[LDR]

Are you still at work btw? When are you getting home? I really fancy a fatty boombatty

I'm next door having my after work spliff.

 

[SubZeroCat]

I'm next door having my after work spliff.

I didn't hear you come in! I went to the toilet 5 mins ago, the house was dead quiet....

*nips next door to "see LDR"*

 

[SubZeroCat]

Oh yeah, I forgot - they might want me to do French classes too

 

[geminisnake]

I didn't wear my (small) silver stud labret piercing to the interview, do you think I will be able to wear it?

Give it a few days then ask?? Or would your pal know??

Congratulations on getting the job hun, I hope you enjoy it
Sooner you than me though.

 

[E.J.]

Gwwan, well done and congrats SZC - The very best of luck in your new Nursery Assistants job Don't let those little darlings or nippers get you down.

 

[maomao]

I worked with 3-6 year olds for 3 years and am now immune to all child noises. The two toddlers next door rip seven shades of shit out of each other all day and I barely notice they're there.

Advice? Watch supernanny.

Oh, and congratulations.

 

[SubZeroCat]

Advice? Watch supernanny.

Yeah, I was thinking that......what time/channel/day is it on?

 

[E.J.]

SZC - Supernanny is on 9pm/Wednesday/Channel 4

 

[SubZeroCat]

SZC - Supernanny is on 9pm/Wednesday/Channel 4

Cheers EJ

 

[Brainaddict]

hey, congratulations SZC Let us know how it goes.

 

[Flavour]

Congratulations

I'm sure you'll do a great job.

Playing games and messing around with toys and sandpits and having the occasional nap...

(d'you get my PM?)

 

[sparkling]

Pootle - It's not that I don't like children it's that I'm defo not one of those 19 yr old girls who go 'Oh I love kids, they are so cute, I can't wait to have one, come here you little cutie etc...'

They just don't really appeal to me! But I do like them to some extent and they can be cute/come out with bloody hilarious stuff/etc



thanks

Thats why you will probably be good at the job because you do not have some unrealistic veiw of children.

They will say funny things to you.

They will look up to you and think you are the most amazingly beautiful and clever person in the world and thats why you have to be careful....because those little children are really quite vulnerable and fragile so you see its a big responsibility.

Good luck lovey. Just be yourself.

 

[Chester Copperpot]

C L - Great news.

 

[cyberfairy]

congrats you! i'm sure you'll be fab! i work with nursery kids...if they cry, make silly faces, if threy're grumpy compliment them on their clothes....they are just like adults (but ickler) and you can steal cute hairclips!

 

[Agent Sparrow]

J O B !

Result

Congratulations! I can't offer you helpful child advice, as they scare and confuse me, but good luck anyway!

 

[Strumpet]

Congratulations.

I'm a nursery nurse by trade so pick my brains (the bits that are left) sometimes if you wanna. Pm anytime.
Good advice given in general so far.
Yes watch Supernanny! I love it apart from the fact she says she made it all up herself! "Errmm scuse me Jo...my mam, who was also a nursery nurse, has been doing the stuff you do for donkeys years and so have I!"

One thing that springs to mind - You don't need to be as rigid and strict with your toddlers as she is with the little darlings in their own homes. Remember she is sorting established problems, you won't be, you'll be assisting so initially be guided by those already there as they know the kids better for now.

Good luck! It's mentally tiring but SO rewarding.