Saudi-owned oil tanker hijacked in Indian Ocean

[teqniq]

Comedy thread.

In all seriousness though, how the fuck do you manage to hijack a tanker that big or indeed the ship load of miltary hardware (albeit unsucessfully, as I suspect this will be) with pretty small boats?

Nothing to lose, more front than Marks and Spencers and loads of khat I suspect.

 

[Mr Moose]

Its one hell of a nick.

I'm just imagining the conversations on the deck

Pirate 1 (Disbelievingly) 'Can you really drive this fucker?'

Pirate 2 (Aggrieved) 'Of course I fucking can!! Now..stopping distance..(thumbs manual) about 60 metres should do it...'

 

[david dissadent]

Its one hell of a nick.

I'm just imagining the conversations on the deck

Pirate 1 (Disbelievingly) 'Can you really drive this fucker?'

Pirate 2 (Aggrieved) 'Of course I fucking can!! Now..stopping distance..(thumbs manual) about 60 metres should do it...'

Given its depth as its fully loaded and its turning circle, its not the easiest ship in the world to steer.

 

[Bakunin]

When my grandfather was in the service, they used to routinely sink pirate vessels in the South China Sea and surrounding area, before taking the survivors, putting them on trial and often hanging them.

 

[teqniq]

Update. I stand corrected. As far as I can work out there seems to be no resolution to the hijack of the M.V. Fianna (the ship with all the millitary hardware on board).

Anyone else?

 

[Idris2002]

Update. I stand corrected. As far as I can work out there seems to be no resolution to the hijack of the M.V. Fianna (the ship with all the millitary hardware on board).

Anyone else?

Would this be a sister ship of the Marita Ann?

 

[teqniq]

Oops. MV FAINA.

 

[Idris2002]

Once again I'm disappointed.

 

[teqniq]

Oh c'mon. My carp typing could not possibly have led you to believe that latter-day Irish freedom fighters would have travelled that far to further their cause?

 

[teqniq]

Hang on. They went to South America and tried to do dodgy stuff there. I have one or two Irish mates one of whom plays the most outrageous game of pool.

I will believe anything.

 

[frogwoman]

Oh c'mon. My carp typing could not possibly have led you to believe that latter-day Irish freedom fighters would have travelled that far to further their cause?

yep, something about that story is a bit fishy

 

[Detroit City]

Pirate 1 (Disbelievingly) 'Can you really drive this fucker?'

Pirate 2 (Aggrieved) 'Of course I fucking can!! Now..stopping distance..(thumbs manual) about 60 metres should do it...'

Pirate 3 confused Naah, gotta be at least 100 metres...

 

[rekil]

Hang on. They went to South America and tried to do dodgy stuff there.

What's dodgy about birdwatching?

 

[teqniq]

What's dodgy about birdwatching?

LOL

 

[Badgers]

Nearing the coast of Somalia according to the US Navy and the BBC website.

Bloody tense stand off this one is going to be!!

 

[Giles]

The countries that own the ships and the oil should engage in severe retaliatory strikes against the ports the pirates sail from.

A few FAEs in the right place would mean a lot less pirates.

Giles..

 

[kyser_soze]

I've been expecting to hear of a Call Of Duty 4 intro style heli based commando raid at night...

 

[david dissadent]

The countries that own the ships and the oil should engage in severe retaliatory strikes against the ports the pirates sail from.

A few FAEs in the right place would mean a lot less pirates.

Giles..

And alot of innocent people dead. Piracy is basicaly a policing issue. It does not require that kind of warefare.

 

[bluestreak]

When my grandfather was in the service, they used to routinely sink pirate vessels in the South China Sea and surrounding area, before taking the survivors, putting them on trial and often hanging them.

Did your grandad meet any of the famous pirates? bluebeard, those sort of people?

Also, on a more serious note, why did they bother rescuing the poor buggers iuf they were jsut going to hang them?

 

[bluestreak]

And alot of innocent people dead. Piracy is basicaly a policing issue. It does not require that kind of warefare.

Giles is the sort of person who believes that collatorol damage is quite acceptible in the pursuit of justice. Especially if the damage in question is ethnic and poor. After all, they probably did something to deserve being nuked from orbit.

 

[ViolentPanda]

The countries that own the ships and the oil should engage in severe retaliatory strikes against the ports the pirates sail from.

A few FAEs in the right place would mean a lot less pirates.

Giles..

You really are a murderous little shit, aren't you?

 

[Bob_the_lost]

No one really cares about this, it's a tiny problem on a global scale and the countries getting hit don't have much or any military force. The navies who do try to intervene have the wrong kit in the region and are following a policy of appeasement. However the public's got all interested (including me) and outrage sells papers.

 

[ViolentPanda]

And alot of innocent people dead. Piracy is basicaly a policing issue. It does not require that kind of warefare.

You need to bear in mind that Giles is in favour of eugenics policies being drawn up for the lower orders, to limit our breeding etc, and in favour of euthanising us too.

 

[_angel_]

The countries that own the ships and the oil should engage in severe retaliatory strikes against the ports the pirates sail from.

A few FAEs in the right place would mean a lot less pirates.

Giles..

Would you have bombed Ireland when the IRA were active?

 

[butchersapron]

Give me 24 hours, i'll sort it out

 

[Bakunin]

Did your grandad meet any of the famous pirates? bluebeard, those sort of people?

Also, on a more serious note, why did they bother rescuing the poor buggers iuf they were jsut going to hang them?

Lol. He was in the service from 1927 to 1948, so I don't think Blackbeard was on the list of pirates that were taken.

One of the functions of the Royal Navy at the time was to keep the shipping lanes open and secure, as control of the shipping lanes meant that the Empire ran smoothly. The South China Sea was a hotbed of piracy when he enlisted and the Royal Navy was the biggest and most powerful in the world at the time, so that was considered an important role for them in those days.

Pirates captured in the South China Sea had to be tried before execution, so they were kept in irons in the ship's prison cells, known as the brig, until they docked. Then the pirates were brought to trial, convicted, sentenced and executed in Hong Kong or Singapore IIRC, at a place called Execution Dock in the naval base or the nearest prison with an available gallows. It was quite common for pirates to be captured and dealt with by the Royal Navy rather than handing them over to the civil authorities as piracy was a capital crime both under British and international law back then.

 

[Spion]

Pirates captured in the South China Sea had to be tried before execution, so they were kept in irons in the ship's prison cells, known as the brig, until they docked. Then the pirates were brought to trial, convicted, sentenced and executed in Hong Kong or Singapore IIRC, at a place called Execution Dock in the naval base or the nearest prison with an available gallows. It was quite common for pirates to be captured and dealt with by the Royal Navy rather than handing them over to the civil authorities as piracy was a capital crime both under British and international law back then.

So, if you were caught by his majesty's pirates, sorry, navy, you were fucked from the word go and the trial was a sham?

 

[Idris2002]

Give me 24 hours, i'll sort it out

'24 hours, chief, or you can have my badge'.

 

[Bakunin]

So, if you were caught by his majesty's pirates, sorry, navy, you were fucked from the word go and the trial was a sham?

I don't recall there being many acquittals.

That said, if you were captured in the act of trying to take another ship then it was pretty much an open and shut case. And a lot of sailors who risked pirate attacks weren't exactly in the mood for letting them off, while most other people, including pirates themselves, saw it as an occupational hazard.

 

[dilute micro]

And alot of innocent people dead. Piracy is basicaly a policing issue. It does not require that kind of warefare.

I don't know about other navies but the US navy's main mission is to keep the sea lanes open for US shipping. My pirate plan is better. Shoot them on site out at sea.