Ridiculous/wanky job titles

[Wilf]

A gaggle of navigators but no captain or boatswain to be seen? 'Tis a strange ship indeed

They're busy dealing with the boat happy.

 

[Petcha]

Not very global then are you, if you've only got Europe and the Middle East. That's less than a billion people and not even a quarter of the Earth's surface.

There are over 100 Global Vice Presidents in the company. As I say, they love a fucking job title. Basically I just sit at a desk, as do my fellow Global VPs. Bit pissed off tbh as I already had my card prepared in my mind

 

[newme]

It's a job title. Building Futures Navigator. In a team of Community Navigators. I can't get the image of someone sailing through a housing estate in a galleon out of my head.

https://www.coastlinehousing.co.uk/sites/coastlinehousing.co.uk/files/documents/Building%20Futures%20Navigator%20Role%20Profile_0.pdf

New one I just saw, job title is just "Navigator".
It is actually working with homeless people.

 

[likesfish]

I'm a CEO
civil enforcement Officer

 

[Puddy_Tat]

I'm a CEO
civil enforcement Officer

any jobs going for uncivil enforcement officers?

 

[Puddy_Tat]

although my job title is one letter too long for the identity badge making thing at work, so on that, i'm not a senior [redacted] officer, but i'm a senior [redacted] office

hmm

 

[newme]

any jobs going for uncivil enforcement officers?

Yeh but they charge extra

 

[newme]

although my job title is one letter too long for the identity badge making thing at work, so on that, i'm not a senior [redacted] officer, but i'm a senior [redacted] office

hmm

Urgh now someone is going to find that and say you identify as an office. Hopefully linkedin at least lets you have the proper job title. I had a title for years that absolutely no system in the world appeared to recognise, despite being local government, same with a particular HND that apparently the teacher made up. Been a right pain in the arse, now I have the "x consultant" role it has become painfully obvious the title was all that mattered as people that rejected me for roles keep contacting me about roles at companies that ghosted me before for less wages. Piss take is they are still offering less than I am on and it was over a year ago they rejected me in an in demand sector.

 

[Elpenor]

In my career I have had the following suffixes: administrator, officer, specialist, consultant, technician but all essentially the same job at the same level in an organisation.

I rather like technician which is my current role and sort of implies I might wear a lab coat

 

[A380]

Urgh now someone is going to find that and say you identify as an office. Hopefully linkedin at least lets you have the proper job title. I had a title for years that absolutely no system in the world appeared to recognise, despite being local government, same with a particular HND that apparently the teacher made up. Been a right pain in the arse, now I have the "x consultant" role it has become painfully obvious the title was all that mattered as people that rejected me for roles keep contacting me about roles at companies that ghosted me before for less wages. Piss take is they are still offering less than I am on and it was over a year ago they rejected me in an in demand sector.

The title of Masters' isn't recognised by most spell check software.

 

[Puddy_Tat]

Urgh now someone is going to find that and say you identify as an office.

maybe I should edit the badge so that my job title reads 'senior ... office cat'

Hopefully linkedin at least lets you have the proper job title

i have a simple solution to that - i don't do linkedin...

 

[Gerry1time]

although my job title is one letter too long for the identity badge making thing at work, so on that, i'm not a senior [redacted] officer, but i'm a senior [redacted] office

hmm

A friend of mine had the job title 'Global Head of Technology', but the internal diretory cut that short, and always displayed him as 'Global Head of Techno'.

 

[InArduisFouette]

A friend of mine had the job title 'Global Head of Technology', but the internal diretory cut that short, and always displayed him as 'Global Head of Techno'.

unce unce unce

 

[StoneRoad]

Always had reasonable sane job titles, but as most people assume my fairly unusual names are spelt in ways other than how I actually spell it.
I fail to wear the "wrong name" badge / door / desk label, on a matter of principle.

I used to keep a collection of the best mis-spellings ...
Had the same thing with the name of a company I worked for several years [which has disappeared in various amalgamations ]

 

[MickiQ]

Always had reasonable sane job titles, but as most people assume my fairly unusual names are spelt in ways other than how I actually spell it.
I fail to wear the "wrong name" badge / door / desk label, on a matter of principle.

I used to keep a collection of the best mis-spellings ...
Had the same thing with the name of a company I worked for several years [which has disappeared in various amalgamations ]

Evil American Megacorp always asked us to supply our own photos for ID badges, one woman I worked with provided a picture of the Queen and clearly no-one bothered to check because she wore it for ages and never got challenged about it.

 

[newme]

maybe I should edit the badge so that my job title reads 'senior ... office cat'





i have a simple solution to that - i don't do linkedin...

Nice if you can manage it but I got my last job through linkedin and it put us into "finally not fucked" situation, so it does work for some. Linkedinlunatics has some amusing morons too.

 

[Weller]

I was freelancing at a manufacturing company who had had health and safety problems with the use of superglue on the production line fingers stuck together .disapearing stock etc
The solution was to have just one person be responsible for carrying out that task called the Bonding Champion
I asked as I was hearing urgent calls "Bonding champion to line 3" etc many times each day along with requests for several other champions

 

[steeplejack]

Any jobs with the word "champion" in them should be met with a hot flamethrower.

 

[Sue]

Any jobs with the word "champion" in them should be met with a hot flamethrower.

What about Champion the Wonder Horse? Eh?

 

[steeplejack]

a name isn't a job, even in 2023

 

[Sue]

a name isn't a job, even in 2023

steeplejack eh?

 

[steeplejack]

Champion is the horse's name, not his job

 

[mx wcfc]

Any jobs with the word "champion" in them should be met with a hot flamethrower.

Oh dear. I probably shouldn't admit this........

It's not my job title as such, but I am the company "Champion" for my specialism.

No, i don't like it.

People expect me to know everything about it.
I'm meant to be a "thought leader" in the field.

These days I can barely remember what I had for lunch, but I'm meant to not just know lots of things, but remember them.

A little sympathy, please, rather than derision.

 

[Weller]

Oh dear. I probably shouldn't admit this........

It's not my job title as such, but I am the company "Champion" for my specialism.

No, i don't like it.

People expect me to know everything about it.
I'm meant to be a "thought leader" in the field.

These days I can barely remember what I had for lunch, but I'm meant to not just know lots of things, but remember them.

A little sympathy, please, rather than derision.

Well I really feel for you if you have to wear the same uniform badge and glue protection breathing gear as their Bonding Champion before he could use superglue . it wasn't really that specialist

 

[Weller]

a name isn't a job, even in 2023

Steeplejacks your name and a job still in 2023
just about I guess now since Fred Dinbah etc left us

 

[hash tag]

a company i had to deal with in my last job had a Customer Delight Manager.

Ie, the complaints dept.

That's really sunny.

 

[hash tag]

Many years ago, people were really selling the boss they had hired to run the company I worked for say how great he was etc etc.
They introduced him to us as a regional manager, which caused a great anti climax. It turned out he was regional manager of Asia or some such place.