Ramsey;'s kitchen nightmares

[beeboo]

It's probably feasible but I bet (like that farmer's market) it is all planned well in advance, and hence the "problems" need to be presented in order to fit the "solutions" they have already got organised.

Presumably someone goes out some time in advance, does all the research on the restaurant in question, lines up all things they're going to do...then a bit of selective editing later...

Besides, surely we all know that TV is faked by now? It's been a year of TV eating itself over 'faking' itself...

The only thing that surprises me is that anyone didn't take this as read before

 

[mrsfran]

You get on the telephone and work your arse off is how you do it.

Changing a menu is a piece of piss - work out what you want on it, find local suppliers, go visit them and buy the food.

Changing a sign...work out a design, contact a local signmaker, pay them to rush job it and hang it up.

Flock of hens...find a chicken farmer, buy the hens, move them in a truck.

Don't forget, GR manages a load of restaurants already - it's his job to know about good farmers, where different types of veg come from etc and while I doubt that it was done overnight, it's feasible.

Besides, surely we all know[ that TV is faked by now? It's been a year of TV eating itself over 'faking' itself...

So in one day (the programme actually showed the idea being posited and said clearly "12 hours later...") he managed to get local suppliers to get together stalls, merchandise, a petting zoo, health & safety permission, let the locals know about it and get a banner done? That wasn't done in 12 hours.

Gordon goes in, shouts at people, sets them up, the programme lies about the timescales. It's fantastic entertainment and I always watch it, but it's complete bullshit.

 

[Wookey]

I was distracted at the last part of last night's episode, so I don't know if the fat, stupid idiot managed to get his restaurant running or not??

 

[mrsfran]

It got better. Martin the head chef was leaving. The manager admitted he'd been wrong. Another miracle cure.

I'm willing to bet Gordon poaches that kid Pete for one of his restaurants too.

 

[catrina]

I hate to repeat myself, but did no one else find the idea of mozzarella shark hysterical? I mean, mozzarella on fish is kind of gross to begin with, but shark! In Hampshire! And he billed the restaurant as Modern British cuisine! (Not to mention it looked like a frozen tuna steak from Iceland with some Pizza Hut cheese melted on it, not a proper piece of shark steak with proper mozzarella).

That and the leather walls. And the helicopter.

Where do these people come from?!

 

[Chairman Meow]

I missed it last night. Mozzarella shark? Helicopter? WTF?

 

[beeboo]

I missed the first 10 minutes, but heard some stuff later about "private members club" - what was all that about. Presumably this being the source of the cheesy shark and chopper?

That mozzarella shark does just sound very very wrong.

 

[Nixon]

i *heart* Ramsay's kitchen nightmares.

word

 

[N_igma]

I missed the first 10 minutes, but heard some stuff later about "private members club" - what was all that about. Presumably this being the source of the cheesy shark and chopper?

It started off as some suave, sophisticated club with a £2,000 membership fee. Even got Jordan down for the opening night, obviously that flopped so turned it into a normal restaurant.

It is convenient though that Gordon always somehow manages to turn it around, at least to some degree. Looking at all the halfwits and dumbasses that he's visited, I'm sure for most it's a case of Gordon's adivice "going in one ear and out the other," meh I don't care it makes good tele.

 

[Wookey]

I hate to repeat myself, but did no one else find the idea of mozzarella shark hysterical? I mean, mozzarella on fish is kind of gross to begin with, but shark! In Hampshire! And he billed the restaurant as Modern British cuisine! (Not to mention it looked like a frozen tuna steak from Iceland with some Pizza Hut cheese melted on it, not a proper piece of shark steak with proper mozzarella).

That and the leather walls. And the helicopter.

Where do these people come from?!

Cheesy shark, it was the funniest line after 'You stupid fat idiot!'

 

[Wookey]

It got better. Martin the head chef was leaving. The manager admitted he'd been wrong. Another miracle cure.

I'm willing to bet Gordon poaches that kid Pete for one of his restaurants too.

I liked that fella who'd been to prison, he looked like a right decent chap, being a father figure and all that.

 

[mrsfran]

Me too. Seemed like a decent bloke.

 

[stavros]

That was nearly (but not quite) as good as the one 2 weeks ago when he was with an older Welsh couple, with him as the chef and her at the front of house. they were at each others' throats every night and that in itself had become a tourist attraction. Gordon was almost an innocent bystander.

 

[Orangesanlemons]

Indeed - it's stuff like this which makes you realise how staged the whole thing is.

Also I've got no real understanding of how catering works, but I suspect you can't just magically change a menu and source all the ingredients overnight. Or get new signs, a booking of 48 air traffic controllers, a flock of hens, etc overnight either.

Not saying he does, but given his name and contacts sheet it wouldn't be hard at all. Add to that a production team with a decent idea where the show wants to go and hey presto! A week is ample, even more if you count pre-production prep.

And given that the solutions to the nightmares are all the same and all fairly obvious to anyone with half a background in the trade:

1) Clean this shit up!
2) Use local, fresh, seasonal produce.
3) Cut your menu down by at least half.
4) Change that bloody awful decor.
5) Organise the front of house and the kitchen properly, and communicate with each other.
6) Cut your prices and cook simply and cheaply.
7) Find out who your customer is and focus on them.

there's not really much brainwork to it, just a checklist and a few novelty set-pieces. The journey from a to b is more or less about the personalities involved and seeing if they can adapt. RKN is in essence about injured pride. The US version is a lot more scripted and elements from that do seem to be creeping in to the UK show, but I'd say at heart it's a reasonably honest show.

 

[Jambooboo]

I thought Gordon and the entrepreneur fella were gonna come to blows.

 

[Sunray]

Indeed - it's stuff like this which makes you realise how staged the whole thing is.

Also I've got no real understanding of how catering works, but I suspect you can't just magically change a menu and source all the ingredients overnight. Or get new signs, a booking of 48 air traffic controllers, a flock of hens, etc overnight either.

He has 5 days. It doesn't say 5 consecutive days? So its artistic licence.

I've said it before, he has undisputed credentials in opening and running a restaurant. It got 3 Michelin stars, one of a handful of restaurants in the UK that has, and its not as if he isn't well know for his attitude, you know what to expect.

What I find funny is not his attitude but people not just doing exactly what he says, because he's a Millionaire from his restaurants and they are on the verge of bankrupcy?

 

[Chairman Meow]

What I find funny is not his attitude but people not just doing exactly what he says, because he's a Millionaire from his restaurants and they are on the verge of bankrupcy?

That's what I think too. Some of these nitwits are losing thousands a week, and still argue back! I wonder how a lot of them ever earned any money before opening a restaurant as most of them seem completely incompetent at even the basics. You'd think they'd be kissing his feet for saving their crappy businesses.

 

[The Boy]

What I find funny is not his attitude but people not just doing exactly what he says, because he's a Millionaire from his restaurants and they are on the verge of bankrupcy?

That's exactly what my gf says. She hasn't ever had much time for GR due to his reported attitude to veggies (although I think she's warming to him), but every time we watch RKN we're both sitting there wondering why the fuck anyone who is on the verge of bankruptcy even needs convincing.

By all means voice any reluctance about changes, but just fucking go with it and see what happens - it's not as if they have anything to lose.

 

[Miss Peabody]

What has always puzzled me is what expressions must one pull to end up with the kind of wrinkles Ramsay has?

 

[beeboo]

I think they're basically deluded - a lot of them (this week and last week particularly) seem to be people following a dream or acting out a fantasy of having their own restaurant/club etc. I can see how, even when confronted with someone who clearly knows MUCH better, you're going to resist someone tearing your dreams apart.

 

[Chairman Meow]

What has always puzzled me is what expressions must one pull to end up with the kind of wrinkles Ramsay has?

I know - he looks like a Shar Pei.

 

[The Boy]

I wonder how a lot of them ever earned any money before opening a restaurant as most of them seem completely incompetent at even the basics.

This is another thing. I know the worst offenders are invariably people with little or no experience of the restaurant trade (or indeed any part of the hospitality business), but surely they should be able to tell if the food coming out of the kitchen is any good, or if their kitchen staff are taking the piss etc.

 

[catrina]

I can see how, even when confronted with someone who clearly knows MUCH better, you're going to resist someone tearing your dreams apart.

I can see how this might apply to decor, but you can't really argue with crap food or poor service, it is what it is and is reflected in the number of people who complain and/or return to your restaurant.

There was one last year where the guy was a little OCD and had the perfect kitchen filled with the best quality of everything, but he was in King's Lynn and the people didn't want to pay through the roof for food there. I could understand why that guy was upset and arguing back, because I'm sure he felt like 'If you can do it why can't I?' towards Gordon.

But these people have been serving crap food and really poor service, if the food ever even turns up. How can you argue back that you know better?

I feel awful when I screw up a meal I've cooked for other people, I'd prefer to just bin it and serve something else than serve inedible food!

 

[Pieface]

I know - he looks like a Shar Pei.

It's the ones on the chin that bother me. How on earth did he get them?

 

[kyser_soze]

I know - he looks like a Shar Pei.

Shar Pei

Ramsey

 

[Pieface]

look at the chin!!

How???

 

[kyser_soze]

It's uncanny. In fact, it's downright unnatural.

 

[Miss Peabody]

look at the chin!!

How???

Yes!

How?


I've gurned and I've gurned and I still cant work it out

 

[5t3IIa]

.

 

[Sunray]

He's an ex-pro footballer. Prolly get that from all the face pulling at the ref.