Pretend ASBO

Discussion in 'protest, direct action and demos' started by Edie, Jun 28, 2018.

  1. Edie

    Edie Well-Known Member

    Bollocks. You know nothing. I might not know every single thing my boys do but believe me I have a pretty good idea when they’re getting into trouble.

    Also laughing at the thought I’d believe my kids could do no wrong. That is far from the truth. I’m on first name terms with the school copper and the local pcso ffs
     
    moomoo, maomao, Rutita1 and 1 other person like this.
  2. Edie

    Edie Well-Known Member

    This made me laugh :D
     
    moomoo and 5t3IIa like this.
  3. Saul Goodman

    Saul Goodman It's all good, man

    So my experience (and pretty much everyone around me at the time) of being a complete cunt as a kid, and my parents not knowing I was a complete cunt, is trumped by your 'But I'm a parent' spiel? :D
    If criminals are getting caught by their mothers, they're not very good criminals :D
     
    MickiQ and Pickman's model like this.
  4. ice-is-forming

    ice-is-forming Well-Known Member

    I hear you but it's not been my experience with my four kids.

    I was a horrible teenager and it was only retrospectivly that I realised I had snuck nothing past my parents...they just didn't know how to manage it or challenge me

    Personally my kids never got caught being criminal..but that wasn't luck it was education, and that only happened because I knew what they were up to...
     
  5. Edie

    Edie Well-Known Member

    Yeah except my kids aren’t criminals, and they are getting busted by their mum.
     
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  6. Edie

    Edie Well-Known Member

    Saul Goodman what criminal shit did you do out of interest? Are we talking about smoking a bit of weed with your mates, or robbery, or dealing, or burglary? Was it gang related crime or just you?
     
  7. Rutita1

    Rutita1 Scum with no integrity, apparently.

    Again, COME THE FUCK OFF IT :D ...your experiences are of course valid. I have a younger brother who sounds just like you and am not under any illusions as to the absolute god awful shit mothers/families will put up with and cover up for. That doesn't mean you are right this time....just because it could be happening doesn't mean it is was my point. You are so very certain though, which is odd.
     
  8. PippinTook

    PippinTook A flower does not ask to bloom, it just does.

    I'm working in a school where there are teenagers "involved" in gangs. And also there are teenagers that get mixed up with gangs because they know no better. There is a distinction. But the end result is someone gets in trouble with the law...And/or someone gets hurt or worse dead.

    I've had conferences with parents where I've all but straight out told them that their son/daughter was heading for trouble because of who they were associating with. I've gone so far as to warn parents that their son/daughter is mixing with someone who will absolutely be the cause of trouble for them and their kid...And yet the parents muddle along and decide "oh but they're friends and my Johnny likes having this friend and sure what could go wrong?" And I absolutely hate knowing that I was right when they come back a year later saying why didn't we listen?

    There are parents who watch their own kids like hawks and don't miss a trick. They keep a tight enough rein on their kids and know exactly where they are and what they're doing at all times. They check and double check and triple check. They are not afraid to be very tough with their kids.

    Then there the parents who decide that because their kid is 15 he/she can be more independent. This independence isn't about doing their own washing...nope...it's greater social freedom and getting handed a phone so they can check in every hour. But what goes on isn't always clear and where they are isn't always clear either....And if the kid tells a porkie about where they are and gets away with it they will do it again. These are the more vulnerable kids in terms of possibly positioning themselves in the way of joining in with what some would call the "wrong crowd". It depends very much on the kid themselves and their personality and their strength of character whether they get involved or have the courage to pull away. This is where home support is vital to encourage them at all times to talk openly and to listen to guidance. Unfortunately teenagers develop strong loyalties to groups and friends. It's very natural but it can be really devastating when a kid is told they have to drop their friends because they're part of gang. They know them as friends and find it hard to desert their friends. This is where their personal strength has to come into play. Teenagers who can stand up and walk away from trouble need to be really very strong characters and not care what the "gang" will think. Quite frankly if they are that strong then they wouldn't be involved in the first place. So it's a very very difficult thing to get out of a teenage gang...especially if you see the gang members on a daily basis.

    Then there's another group whose parents couldn't really care where their kids are or what they're doing and so long as they don't turn up in the back of a police car everything is grand... these kids are also much more likely to get involved in teenage gangs.

    In my experience...kids actively involved in gangs are not monitored accurately or consistently by their parents.
    I'll give you an example. A 16yr old out til 12 And sometimes later every night. Comes to school tired...hung over...doped on pot...can't function in school. So parent is called in. Parent makes excuses..."I'm working til 9pm every night." "He steals my keys/ drink/cigarettes/ etc.."
    " I give him 5 cigarettes a day if he does his homework"...or .."to keep him quiet"..."i don't know how to control him" ..."sometimes I'm afraid of him"..."he attacked a few shop fronts with his friends"..."they're not bad kids they just have nothing to do"...."he's been arrested twice but it wasn't his fault"..."he hit a garda but he was drunk and didn't mean to"...."he won't do any study for me....I send him up to his room to work but then I find out he has climbed out the window and is off with his friends". "his friends are nice lads"... "two of them have asbos but they're ok kids".
    When asked what sanctions the parent imposed? "I don't have time...I'm working". And then because the parent was called in to meet the teacher the kid is annoyed..so what does the parent do to quieten him down? Goes off and buys him the most expensive pair of sneakers they can afford...because "I'll do anything for my son"..bar actually discipline him and impose some sanctions.


    From what I have read of Edie's posts you're a careful parent and you monitor where your son is and what he is doing.
    I would say that there really is only one solution but it won't be what you want to hear. It is to get him away from anyone close to gangs. By that I mean he has to completely stop all involvement...friendships...with anyone associated with a whiff of a gang. It looks like this is what has doing.
    That's a really difficult thing to do.. But you and he seem serious about wanting change for him then that's what has to be done. He needs to get involved in groups that are not gang related. The idea of just hanging around is one of the things he will have to stop doing. Maybe if he could get involved in sports or after school programmes that would help....maybe programming?....or languages...or music....anything that adds to his learning and keeps him in a group thats much less likely to turn into a gang.
     
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  9. Saul Goodman

    Saul Goodman It's all good, man

    All I'm certain of is that children who are up to no good can be very good at hiding it from their parents. I grew up with a lot of these people around me, and their parents didn't have a clue what they were up to.
    Parents can be extremely gullible when it comes to their own kids.
     
    PippinTook likes this.
  10. Saul Goodman

    Saul Goodman It's all good, man

    I'd rather not go into it, TBH. It's part of my past that I'd rather leave behind, but suffice to say, it was things I wouldn't have wanted my parents to know about... so they didn't know about any of it. Including things that were happening literally under their nose.
     
    PippinTook likes this.
  11. planetgeli

    planetgeli There's no future in England's dreaming

    You were their coke dealer but they didn't know and I claim my free gram.
     
  12. planetgeli

    planetgeli There's no future in England's dreaming

    Am I missing something? They're flipping the finger. "Fuck off/fuck you". I see this about 100 times a day. Admittedly I work with junior gangsters but...
     
    PippinTook likes this.
  13. Rutita1

    Rutita1 Scum with no integrity, apparently.

    That's what I said. Regardless it doesn't mean Edie is being gullible here.
     
    PippinTook likes this.
  14. Edie

    Edie Well-Known Member

    I don’t know I am a middle aged mum :hmm:

    PippinTook thanks for that hun. I have to say I’m not a mum who follows their every move like a hawk. He’ll quite often be out for hours on end (like 1pm when he gets his lazy arse out of bed til 10 at night). But I do check in, and I know roughly what the plan is, like I’m going out with Na’choy or I’m going to town then round Lavelle’s nans. He’s very good at getting home on time and has been out til midnight but only once or twice and I’ve known exactly where he was.

    My biggest concern is the summer holidays. I’m working a 48+ hour week and he’ll be left to his own devices cos there is no other option (he can’t go to his Dads due to social services and his Nan and me, my exes mum, don’t get on now after all the child protection stuff). So yeah I worry about that.

    On the positive he’s got a job at the local pub for a fiver an hour and works 4.30-12.30 three nights a week over the summer. So that’ll keep him out of trouble to some extent (plus I’m proud of him for grafting).
     
  15. planetgeli

    planetgeli There's no future in England's dreaming

    Er, you didn't look that middle-aged on the last pics you put on here. :hmm: :D
     
    UnderAnOpenSky likes this.
  16. PippinTook

    PippinTook A flower does not ask to bloom, it just does.

    Yep. They all do it. It's to look cool..or hard...or gangsta. Most of them know it's all an act. But there are some who are hard as nails and mean it
     
  17. Edie

    Edie Well-Known Member

    Well I’m old enough to have a 15yo :D
     
  18. Edie

    Edie Well-Known Member

    Do you work at a pupil referral unit? If so then one these lads goes there, the other had a managed move.
     
  19. planetgeli

    planetgeli There's no future in England's dreaming

    Yep. PRU.
     
  20. Saul Goodman

    Saul Goodman It's all good, man

    :D
    Of course it doesn't. I wasn't pointing fingers in that statement..
     

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