Post a fucking pome then

[dolly's gal]

reaching around
feeling your nipples harden

that's fucking porn!!!!!!!!!!!!!! he said pome not porn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Johnny Canuck3]

Exactly.

One third of the poem was missing.

 

[DotCommunist]

what building do I describe, northampton urbs?

What’s permanent for a city boy?
The rearing stone and steel?

They emphasis the constant of change
mock by their impermanence.

There’s no genius at my local
just sodden opinion and slurred wit.

The ripped bags of household shit, the stink of oil
on a summer night, half feral cats

Fully feral teens and sodium-lit
brutalities of building.

These things are more constant than wilted park flora,
than wishes made to old woods and wells.

Alone the lift-tower stands, its time long passed,
a great one fingered salute to the sky.

Crowned midwinter with a lit tree,
perhaps this abandoned marvel

has stained my memory and cast a pointed
shadow on imperfect memory

 

[Cid]

I can't believe you just used 'memory' twice in as many lines DC. You fucking amateur.

 

[dolly's gal]

Two Cures for Love

Don't see him. Don't phone or write a letter.
The easy way: get to know him better.

wendy cope

 

[DotCommunist]

I can't believe you just used 'memory' twice in as many lines DC. You fucking amateur.

hey it's raw shit from the vault, suck my balls

 

[Cid]

hey it's raw shit from the vault, suck my balls

'Shit' being the operative word.

 

[marty21]

that's fucking porn!!!!!!!!!!!!!! he said pome not porn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[isitme]

Love is like a tiger in the woods at night
Invisible to sight, seen by starlight
100% organic, romantic, worth more than any thing on any planet
Love causes commotion, even corrosion
love is like an ocean, of raw emotion
Slide into it gently, on entry, I send you all my thoughts on a lightbeam

We go way back, back in the day
When men were made of mud, women out of clay
Maybe we melted together in the heat
Written in the stars, story never complete

 

[dolly's gal]

Dorothy Parker:
"One Perfect Rose"

A single flow'r he sent me, since we met.
All tenderly his messenger he chose;
Deep-hearted, pure, with scented dew still wet--
One perfect rose.
I knew the language of the floweret;
"My fragile leaves," it said, "his heart enclose."
Love long has taken for his amulet
One perfect rose.

Why is it no one ever sent me yet
One perfect limousine, do you suppose?
Ah no, it's always just my luck to get
One perfect rose.

 

[DotCommunist]

'Shit' being the operative word.

this is the point where I find myself typing yeah but your mum

 

[dolly's gal]

this is the point where I find myself typing yeah but your mum

it's like you're ted hughes or something!

 

[Johnny Canuck3]

I remember standing on the corner at midnight
Trying to get my courage up
There was this long lovely dancer in a little club downtown
I loved to watch her do her stuff
Through the long lonely nights she filled my sleep
Her body softly swaying to that smoky beat
Down on mainstreet

 

[Cid]

this is the point where I find myself typing yeah but your mum

<does pelvic thrusts and arse-slapping gestures>

Yeah, you know you just got pwned on the internet. Looser.

I'm off to have wank in front of my mirror.

 

[dolly's gal]

I'm off to have wank in front of my mirror.

will you think of yourself, or your mum???

 

[Demosthenes]

I saw my daughter last christmas,
I don't know if I'll see her again,
It was difficult to keep it together,
keep smiling and act normal, when,
all the time mainly I'm wondering,
- if I should continue this life,
- it all seems increasingly pointless,
no job and no friends and no wife.

Next week the benefits doctor
will decide if I should be cut off.
Am I crazy enough to look after,
Or am I just a crap whinging toff?
Will I ever have something to offer,
Would I ever be much of a dad,
It certainly seems like she loves me,
I don't want to make anyone sad.

But it's not just my own situation,
with its dusty remains of a life,
it's also the hope of a new world,
that makes me think of a knife.

What's the message and where is the guidance,?
I asked for a meaningful sign,
something I just couldn't wonder about,
Something to tell me it's time.
I don't think I want to go under.
It just seems like I don't have a choice.
I should have done something extraordinary,
That's why she gave me a voice.
But no-one's particularly interested,
and why should they be when I've lost?
It's so fucking obvious it's over,

Anyway...
My daughter told me a story,
And she told it a number of times,
I'll tell it to you, just one version,
But I'm afraid it's not made of rhymes.

It went: "there was a bella rabbit and a daddy rabbit. The bella rabbit said to the daddy rabbit, -- Daddee, Daddee, Daddee, Daddee, Daddee, --
the daddy rabbit jumped out of the window, and the bella rabbit said, Daddee, Daddee, Daddee, Daddee, Daddee. Daddee.

Well that certainly cleared that up didn't it.

 

[bluestreak]

you are a very sensitive
and interesting individual

i would really like to learn about you
and what makes you unique

i find your troubles interesting
more interesting than most

now let me spunk in your mouth

top notch. lovely scansion, larkinesque pay off.

 

[bluestreak]

you just made my mum cry

i liked that one on an emotional honesty level but not as poetry. it touched me, but i'm not sure where it belongs literarily.

 

[bluestreak]

I really like that one, marty.

ditto. v. far removed from anything i could write.

 

[bluestreak]

nother one from the vault of old skool

it's a pome but it didn't speak to me. what's the hidden shit?

 

[Dillinger4]

I remember standing on the corner at midnight
Trying to get my courage up
There was this long lovely dancer in a little club downtown
I loved to watch her do her stuff
Through the long lonely nights she filled my sleep
Her body softly swaying to that smoky beat
Down on mainstreet

That is a Bob Seger song. Post up your own pome.

 

[bluestreak]

Through her transparent skin
Still her heart beats --
Mortal, for the first time
I see my mother.

heartbreaking, maybe some deeper metaphor? it's wonderful confessional but i feel that it could be hidden beneath something and shock the reader?

 

[bluestreak]

what building do I describe, northampton urbs?

What’s permanent for a city boy?
The rearing stone and steel?

They emphasis the constant of change
mock by their impermanence.

There’s no genius at my local
just sodden opinion and slurred wit.

The ripped bags of household shit, the stink of oil
on a summer night, half feral cats

Fully feral teens and sodium-lit
brutalities of building.

These things are more constant than wilted park flora,
than wishes made to old woods and wells.

Alone the lift-tower stands, its time long passed,
a great one fingered salute to the sky.

Crowned midwinter with a lit tree,
perhaps this abandoned marvel

has stained my memory and cast a pointed
shadow on imperfect memory

i don;t know northampton but i love this.

 

[bluestreak]

demosthenes, you win at metre and rhyme. also, honestly. lush.

 

[Dillinger4]

i don;t know northampton but i love this.

Same. I love it.

 

[bluestreak]

I wrote this on a plane, about as far removed from the subject matter as a human could be. then i couldn't think of any way to improve it. this has also been published but i'm proud of that, as, despite it's inadequacies as poetry, it represents me very well.

I have a dream of earth
The force of will that shoves weeds
Through concrete.

Imagine the strength. A desire so
Strong that mere foliage achieves
What we cannot do with flesh.

No punch so powerful as vegetable effort,
A need for light and life that conquers
Human creation.

This is my dream. Gradual force like
The seasons changing. A hope so strong
That pavements crumble.

Imagine the things I could achieve
If I was dandelion strong. Imagine the
Future; foliage parting flagstones

Forever.

 

[quimcunx]

heartbreaking, maybe some deeper metaphor? it's wonderful confessional but i feel that it could be hidden beneath something and shock the reader?

An exercise in the form of the poem informing the content, or summat. I mostly wanted it to be simply stated, not florid. I started to do something more flippant but she'd had the bypass recently so that was the strongest image. No (conscious) hidden agenda. It's the only poem I've written that wasn't a jokey thing pissing about.

Fair to say, after insisting on seeing it, my dad didn't like it...



''foliage parting flagstones'' Excellent imagery..... and alliteration.

 

[Demosthenes]

I think your stuff is excellent bluestreak.

 

[dodgepot]

I have a dream of earth
The force of will that shoves weeds
Through concrete.

Imagine the strength. A desire so
Strong that mere foliage achieves
What we cannot do with flesh.

No punch so powerful as vegetable effort,
A need for light and life that conquers
Human creation.

This is my dream. Gradual force like
The seasons changing. A hope so strong
That pavements crumble.

Imagine the things I could achieve
If I was dandelion strong. Imagine the
Future; foliage parting flagstones

Forever.

i like that very much indeed. both the sentiment and the execution.

 

[DotCommunist]

M Banks, Herbert, Heinlein, Clarke, F Hamilton and some I don't know without google. Gibson. Reynolds.

You missed Joe Haldeman and such I can only assume you haven't read his very good and strongly anti-war Forever War trilogy. Man it is worth your time