point me at books which have closeted gay men as one of the main characters

[Louloubelle]

The Lost Language Of Cranes by David Leavitt - it's about a family in which the son comes out after years in the closet, only for the father to realise he is also gay. Sounds like just what you're after. It was on the telly too, with Brian Cox as the dad IIRC

I remember watching a dramatic adaptation on TV years ago, very powerful stuff

 

[ymu]

The 'obvious reasons' bit definitely does need to be changed, since, even in the 70s, if he'd never had sex with his wife she would not have stayed married to him for long!

There was an interesting study and documentary in the 80's that claimed that a surprisingly large proportion of childless couples had never had sex. I can't remember the precise number but it was something like 20% of all childless couples - that sort of magnitude.

The documentary interviewed some of these people. I remember one really sweet old couple. They'd just been too embarrassed to begin with and then never got around to it. I don't remember a gay man and "beard" being included, but I guess that might also account for quite a few.

 

[AnnO'Neemus]

And wasn't Brokeback Mountain based on a short story by Annie Proulx or someone?

ETA: yep.

 

[Balbi]