Pitta bread is crap

[internetstalker]

I have every confidence in sponting you good and proper IS.

Look at pic 5 for a start. You seem to be either unable to get the actual pitta bread inside your mouth, it curling up like a comedy mouthpiece around your lips. It also looks, disgustingly, like it's already creasing and cracking - this implies that you've either overheated the pitta or bought some unfresh and deficient thing.

I'm disappointed in you frankly. If you'd like to learn how to properly source, cook and prepare tasty pitta breads I'm sure we could find you a decent teacher. We'd have to start with the basics though.

pics of STFU

 

[fogbat]

Did you even toast / heat the pitta before you so recklessly tore them apart?

 

[tarannau]

No photos needed. I am like the wind that always blows, a man who knows the way of the pitta.

Look at the photo of stage 5 again and shake your head sadly. It's clear that you simply don't know what you're doing. You can't even get your lips around the pitta.

 

[DotCommunist]

confucious he say, man who build pitta must first learn to build step

 

[dilute micro]

like it's already creasing and cracking - this implies that you've either overheated the pitta or bought some unfresh and deficient thing.

it's either old or never was real pita bread to begin with - too many bs ingredients. That's for certain. Pita bread is supposed to be fresh.

I'd recommend nuking it for a few seconds with a cup of steaming hot water. It'll bring it back some.

 

[strung out]

seriously, the best thing about a pitta is that you just stuff the filling in the pocket and you dont have to worry about shit falling out. whats the point of them if you just cut it completely in half?

also, how do they make the pocket without it the two sides sealing up when its baked?

 

[fogbat]

seriously, the best thing about a pitta is that you just stuff the filling in the pocket and you dont have to worry about shit falling out. whats the point of them if you just cut it completely in half?

also, how do they make the pocket without it the two sides sealing up when its baked?

This is an excellent question

 

[dodgepot]

think outside the box (or pocket) I used to pocket up the pitta, but realised the old techniques were old.

The all new stalkerslice method is far better

no, it isn't. it completely ruins the whole point of pitta bread in the first place.

 

[8den]

think outside the box (or pocket) I used to pocket up the pitta, but realised the old techniques were old.

The all new stalkerslice method is far better

A Pitta filled with last nights curry and rice, and then heated is lush.

As is pesto chicken, spinach and pine nuts, with the cheese.

And both are pocket pittas.

 

[strung out]

yeah, pocket pittas are ace for putting more fluidy foodstuffs in like curry and shit.

 

[internetstalker]

yeah, pocket pittas are ace for putting more fluidy foodstuffs in like curry and shit.

you have shit in your pitta??


you fucking nutter

 

[tarannau]

To be fair IS, you do look more like you're blowing something up that pitta bread's anus rather than eating it.


The poor thing won't even inflate, because you carelessly ripped it in half

 

[internetstalker]

To be fair IS, you do look more like you're blowing something up that pitta bread's anus rather than eating it.

In all honestly that was me forcing the thing in my gob

I'm an animal

I devour pitta!

2 bites and its gone

 

[strung out]

you have shit in your pitta??


you fucking nutter

It was originally called a shark pitta, until a writer wrote a two word review of it, changing it's name forever

 

[8den]

you have shit in your pitta??


you fucking nutter

You mean theres a better bread for a shit sandwich?

 

[internetstalker]

It was originally called a shark pitta, until a writer wrote a two word review of it, changing it's name forever

you put poo into pitta, eat it and call it a shark pitta


and you call me a wrong un

 

[tarannau]

You mean theres a better bread for a shit sandwich?

Warburtons seeded batch. The seeds mask the sweetcorn

 

[internetstalker]

Warburtons seeded batch. The seeds mask the sweetcorn

grim

that bread is my favourite

I may not be able to stomach it now!

 

[dilute micro]

also, how do they make the pocket without it the two sides sealing up when its baked?

The two sides are sealed when it's baked. It puffs like a balloon in the oven.

 

[strung out]

i want to go to a pitta factory now

 

[fogbat]

According to Wikipedia, "Most pita breads are baked at high temperatures (700°F or 370°C), causing the flattened rounds of dough to puff up dramatically. When removed from the oven the layers of baked dough remain separated inside the deflated pita, which allows the bread to be opened into pockets, creating a space for use in various dishes."

I'm not convinced that's enough of an explanation.

 

[strung out]

it sounds like magic to me

 

[dilute micro]

It takes practice to get it right. If it's not rolled thin enough it won't puff and all you'll have is a slab. The oven temp has to be right....etc etc.

 

[internetstalker]

it sounds like magic to me

yeah but you eat shit in your pitta

 

[fogbat]

yeah but you eat shit in your pitta

You cut your pittas in half.

Splitter!

 

[internetstalker]

You cut your pittas in half.

Splitter!

I do both (pocket them and split them)

I'm diverse and adaptable!

 

[strung out]

you really are a modern woman

 

[internetstalker]

confucious he say, man who build pitta must first learn to build step

HAHA!


my next job is digging up my front garden and laying gravel, with a possible wall and fence.
expect photo's when it's completed